SpaceHey or no SpaceHey?

[DiffydaDude]

So i'm kinda lonely these days, even with the forum and all that and im thinking about maybe making a SpaceHey account. Ive looked at the groups and there are some really nice groups I'd like to join, but i'm there's something I'm kinda worried about. I'm worried that im gonna get looped into it like any other social media and i'll end up using it a ton. I've been having trouble with that sort of thing (especially with the lonely thing [im in the middle of writing this and i should really just make a post about the lonely problems]) and im worried about somehow becoming sad again from using it 
what do u think i should do?

[Melooon]

SpaceHey is a fun site but it’s not gonna solve loneliness - in general I would say the web never really does that; technology is a wonderful expansion to humanity, but it can’t replace or replicate the basics. Loneliness needs to be solved with human connection, just like hunger needs to be solved with dinner; that means spending time with others (irl ideally, but calling friends/family on the phone can be good too), or even stepping away from distractions and getting to know yourself better (some people actually don’t know how to do this at all!).

All that aside; SpaceHey is great if you enjoy making profiles and exploring profiles. It’s a glimpse of what social media used to be like and that’s a lot of fun if you approach it positively; just remember it still has all the limitations that modern social has too. Social, doesn’t necessarily mean socially helpful!

[DiffydaDude]

SpaceHey is a fun site but it’s not gonna solve loneliness - in general I would say the web never really does that; technology is a wonderful expansion to humanity, but it can’t replace or replicate the basics. Loneliness needs to be solved with human connection, just like hunger needs to be solved with dinner; that means spending time with others (irl ideally, but calling friends/family on the phone can be good too), or even stepping away from distractions and getting to know yourself better (some people actually don’t know how to do this at all!).

All that aside; SpaceHey is great if you enjoy making profiles and exploring profiles. It’s a glimpse of what social media used to be like and that’s a lot of fun if you approach it positively; just remember it still has all the limitations that modern social has too. Social, doesn’t necessarily mean socially helpful!

Thank you for the message melon, thats really helpful :) but i think i shouldve clarified, i mean that i dont have like, a friend group or something close to that. what i want i some people i can play games with, chat with, have fun, and make cool stuff with. i know we have melonland, but sometimes im just kinda calling out into the dark. I dunno, i used to be able to socialize really well, but the last time that I played games with some dudes was back in like, june of 2022. also i feel like im the one that always has to get their attention, i wish that people would want me to join in their shenanigans instead of having to ask

[creaturefeature]

i mean i used the site but i dont know if spacehey is that good of a place to socialize to begin with. I mean i guess it can be if you´re a bit more selective with who you add to your friend list and comment on people´s bulletins frequently.

Just one advice if you´re going to make an acount. Its best to avoid reading the top blog post section. Lately people have psoting nothing but callout posts, or stuff causing drama in there. I even saw someone post anti-queer speech in there. and it gets enough upvotes, so its becoming a bit of an issue lately.
It ended up putting me off the site even thought i still have a profile but havent been there in months.
one of the issues i sorta have with the site that its not very moderated (cause lets face it its being run by a very small team) so it requires a bit more precaution

[tarraxahum]

I'd love to be more active on SpaceHey, but it also feels like I... Kind of fell out of practice of properly using social networks? Or maybe me not having the original MySpace page as a teen is showing. Either way, I get rather confused on HOW to be active there. The forums and groups are mostly very slow and I'm not much of a blogger.

That being said, bulletins and blogs (and the messaging system) do indeed look like the mainly used features of the site (which already does sound much different from the general social spaces of today). Lil ol' me didn't even think about checking out top blogs before creaturefeature mentioned them. That miiiight be the approach to take.

Also I'm either lucky or what, but I don't see that much drama in the top blogs today. Maybe I'm just used to a certain degree of that after being active on Tumblr for a decade.

That being said, callout culture is definitely present on SpaceHey. And it's not just the younger users either, I once got friended by a woman in her 30s and ALL she seemed to do non-stop was throwing around predator accusations at other adult users. Which. Uh.

More on topic of your question, I personally think it should be harder to get addicted to SpaceHey than it is to, say, Twitter, solely because of the structure of the website. Much less of a constant stream of posts and news and updates etc etc. And customizing your profile is really fun. I haven't exactly figured out how to productively make friends on there, but that might be 'cause I've gotten worse at that in general, so your experience might be entirely different

[xXWebMasterXx_Gina]

This is a complex situation where there's likely no easy answer. Though take my input with a salt shaker's worth of salt as I am heavily biased against social media in any form.

I understand where you are coming from, Diffy; socializing is tricky, especially in the modern age. I can't even imagine how much harder it is for youth who were in school during the height of the pandemic. As much as we like to look down on our school days; socially, it is invaluable since you are building relationships and interacting with people your own age on a daily basis. One of my biggest regrets was spending too much time on my studies in college when I should have been socializing/networking, etc. (studying is important though!  )

Clearly social media has become the dominant source of social interaction; but I'm with Melon, it can't substitute the real thing. I don't even think social media was made with that in mind; it's a business, everything about social media trains the user into commodifying their life. Value comes in the form of how many friends/followers you have; sharing as many personal details about yourself to strangers, etc. It's not genuine, even if some of the people on them may be.

I can't speak on SpaceHey specifically; but frankly, no matter what form it comes in; all social media will end up the same. To add onto creaturefeature and tarraxahum's points; they don't really foster a community of genuine friendship as much as they create these toxic us vs them environments. For someone your age, I think having social media would do more bad than good.

What's the alternative? I'm sorry to say that I don't have an answer. Your needs and opportunities are unique to you. Don't let that get you down though; you still have your whole life and whether through school, work, or other opportunities, you will find friends and community you can relate to.

[DiffydaDude]

Thanks y'all, y'all are pretty cool. I really appreciate y'all for the advice :3 :hug:
as for the toxicity thing, i think its just an innate thing for social media sites, its better just to let it not affect you. and as for what im gonna do, i think ill stick to forums and smaller places too :3
just wanna say also, i love yall     
P.S., does anyone know a cool scene/scenemo place on the interwebs? I love the stuff they do and i'd like to find a place for that

[tarraxahum]

To add onto creaturefeature and tarraxahum's points; they don't really foster a community of genuine friendship as much as they create these toxic us vs them environments

Well, to be fair to social networks, 'cause I'd be a hypocrite not to: I will say that majority of my long-term real life friends I'm still frequently meeting and communicating with I've personally met through social media in my early 20s. More particularly - through fandoms and roleplay. Hell, a fandom even got me a full-time adult job once. So these sites do have potential to foster community and friendship - but you have to get lucky, you have to work for it (i.e. move it to real life eventually, if you're able) and you have to avoid falling into that toxic negativity farming cycle that fills the Internet right now (partially due to arguments bringing in clicks and partially due to some people taking the fight for a better world to unfortunate extremes). Which may ask for a certain age bracket, sure.

None of that undermines the potential and the very real harm of social media, of course, but I have to give some credit where it's due, in my life anyway. Roleplay sites and forums are DEFINITELY still a thing (RPnation comes to mind), so that's not a problem. Fandoms are... trickier. This is one thing I still don't know how to replace outside of social networks (and even then the only one that does it for me still is Tumblr).

I wish I could recommend a cool scene space, but I unfortunately have no idea :( Searching by "scene" tag on Neocities seems to bring some sites up, might be a good place to start?

[grubbyfox]

I have SpaceHey, but I dont actively use it I guess. I just thought it was cool to make a profile the way we used to with myspace. But I wasnt super active there either, I used to post like, about like dreams/nightmares, just random life updates etc. It was like a mix between a micro blog and a blog. It wasn't necessarily an actual blog, nor was it "micro thoughts" like the way we post on twitter, but somewhere in between?

I doubt spacehey will make you obsessed, the way social media does, as its not designed to make you obsessed the way social media is. Or rather, maybe everything can make us obsessed in one way, but its at least not built to do that. <3

[nintendowii99]

Personally, i don't find sites like Spacehey to be as addicting as things like Facebook or Instagram. They don't have the same addictive qualities in my opinion. I think the relative lack of users also contributes to that. For example, with tik tok, there is an essentially unlimited stream of content to be consuming 24/7. You never really run out of things to look at. While tik tok is certainly an extreme, sites like Facebook and Instagram have similar qualities. Spacehey, and other sites like it don't - at least on anywhere near the same scale. That being said I never found a good community on Spacehey and thus never really ended up using it after the initial profile creation. Therefore, in my opinion, you can create an account without the same guilt as something like Facebook.

One of my personal goals when it comes to internet consumption and social media use is to be more intentional about when and why I use it. It's easy for me to not use certain sites if I don't find personal value in it. For example, I haven't used twitter in almost a decade because I just don't find any use in the site, it doesn't accomplish anything that other sites don't in my opinion, and I don't personally care about other's 240 character quips. In comparison, Facebook is a huge timesuck of mine because a lot of close friends use it. Being more intentional helps me resist the urge to make an account just to test out new sites or use it just because other people do. I try to only stick with the sites that click with me, you know?

With that in mind, I don't use Spacehey anymore because it doesn't really accomplish anything that Neocities doesn't for me. If I want to make a blog post, or work on my html skills, I have a Neocities site that is ready and waiting for more content. I don't need to spread myself even more thin to work on another site. As for the social interaction element, I get that from sites like this and a few other niche forums i'm a part of.

That is just what works for me and how I decide if i'm going to adopt a new site.