how long had it been since you've been SUPER into something?

[flowers]

i'll try to explain this the best i can, but i've had this thing that i feel is pretty common? but i'm curious if it actually is, since my "oh yeah everybody does this" detector is... generally really bad.

anyway... have you ever had this feeling that you're completely engulfed by something you enjoy, maybe it's a hyperfixation or just something you feel is a huge part of your life, that you feel you're neck deep in it? if so, are you currently into it? and if not, how long has it been? i'm curious what takes up your brain spaces.

for me, i feel like i keep trying to rekindle my love for my favorite things, and fall kind of short. i get really obsessive with my interests but lately i've been in a drought for that feeling. i don't think i'm depressed, but letting myself indulge in my interests hasn't been too indulging. but i really don't want to try anything new, i just want to get into something i know a bunch about again and finish where i left off D: like i'm trying to finish writing something for my characters but i just don't have that crazy passion right now!!

[Bede]

i'll try to explain this the best i can, but i've had this thing that i feel is pretty common? but i'm curious if it actually is, since my "oh yeah everybody does this" detector is... generally really bad.

anyway... have you ever had this feeling that you're completely engulfed by something you enjoy, maybe it's a hyperfixation or just something you feel is a huge part of your life, that you feel you're neck deep in it?

I get the feeling you are using "hyperfixation" the way the internet likes to use it (ie, to say something you like / something you're interested in lately), given you say you think everyone experiences this, so, just in case you are: that is not normal, king (gender neutral). Look into if you're neurodivergent, if you haven't yet, because this sounds like pretty textbook hyperfixation (as in the medical term) and/or special interests.

• Special interests
• What's the Difference Between Hyperfixation and a Special Interest?

To answer your question: I like to call this type of fixation my phases of "inspirational hyperfixation." (Again, using it as a medical term; I am neurodivergent in multiple ways.) I use that phrase because this type of hyperfixation drives me to make lots and lots of fanworks for the subject at hand! I rarely am without one, and the times where one is fresh is typically when I get my biggest bursts of artistic inspiration.

It's funny you bring this up, because I was just recently thinking about how it had felt like a while since my last inspirational hyperfixation phase. It's rare I'm without one at all, so going without one for a long while made me start to have a really weird relationship with my art. I decided to check when my last one ended (my Red Son Lego Monkie Kid era), and it turned out it had been over a YEAR! Like, no wonder why I couldn't bring myself to make anything...

Thankfully, that drought period very recently ended, with my new inspirational hyperfixation on the indie game Dead Plate! I've been drawing lots of fanart for it. I've missed having this drive!!

[wygolvillage]

Honestly? I kinda get that. I feel generally less  fandom-y lately. Like I have my interests and media I enjoy but now there's kind of a degree of separation between me and fandom spaces, so I find myself making fanwork a lot less often. It is funny looking back how there was a time where I would be making multiple digital fanart pieces every week and always have some kind of fanfiction being written!

I still hang out with my pals from the Castlevania fandom and I did start somewhat actively posting on the Warrior Cats fan forum to discuss goings-ons in the series, but apart from that my interactions with fandom and fannish obsession has gone way down (like, for example, in the case of Warrior Cats I don't really watch Warriors youtubers or anything...). So like, now I get into things but I don't get INTO-into them. Like I'm watching Dungeon Meshi right now and I'm really really enjoying it, but the urge to "be a fan" and make art, fic, discuss headcanons, etc. just isn't there. Same with other media I've enjoyed as of late. The things I feel most fandom-y about were already long-term interests, and they're also not like major ACTIVE obsessions right now.

Honestly it would be cool to see a full exploration of like, the nature of fandom as a mode of interaction and like, the good parts, the bad parts, etc. Because it feels like such a uniquely online style of, like, community and subculture (I am aware that fandom was around before the internet but I am talking about the current incarnation of fandom). I'm actually pretty curious about what other thoughts people have about  the intersection of fandom culture and the personal web.

[BUTCHBONEZ]

I hyperfixate on things a lot due to my neurodivergence but It usually only lasts a few weeks. I'd say the last time I was really into something for a long time was when I was in pre-k to third grade. I was OBSESSED with these collectible dolls , I even memorized every one of their names [there were around 500 of them at the time] and collected around 80. But I lost interest in around fourth grade.

[flowers]

I get the feeling you are using "hyperfixation" the way the internet likes to use it (ie, to say something you like / something you're interested in lately), given you say you think everyone experiences this, so, just in case you are: that is not normal, king (gender neutral). Look into if you're neurodivergent, if you haven't yet, because this sounds like pretty textbook hyperfixation (as in the medical term) and/or special interests.

oh no i mean hyperfixation as in literally a hyperfixation for neurodivergent people who experience it - i don't want to exclude anyone on that basis because that's what i do. i often feel like my interests are seen as a little much/intense for these conversations when they happen elsewhere, so i wanted to make sure i invited people in who are like yeah i'm fixated on this and i'm invited to share, hell yeah. and i know sometimes other people can have hyperfixation droughts (literally the perfect way to describe that) and that's kind of where i'm at - i did have that little twang in my head seeing something i liked the other day but i haven't really dove into it yet because of the... all consuming thing lol. but it would be nice to feel so inspired i churn out an entire five book series (exaggeration but almost not ngl) of fan stuff. and not to feel bored literally all the time.

anyway, when i say "idk if everyone does this" i am genuinely not sure if people who do not literally hyperfixate even feel like way. like i don't even understand the neurotypical gauge for enjoying something anymore! sorry that i gave that vibe of using it away from it's intended definition. i rewrote this like a million times and i still did not get across what i wanted D: that's on me though!

i am a big ninjago fan but i never got across to watching monkie kid which i really should because one of my friends really is into it and it looks sick. i've been getting more into those kinds of games so i think i will check out dead plate the aesthetic is very very cool. thanks for sharing!!

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@wygolvillage

i am right there with you on that. i haven't really been drawn to fandom spaces since i was a lot younger but when i am it's in really short spurts, i think mostly because i've been pretty burned out so i just haven't made art in months up until this point. but it feels like my fan art drive is just gooone! i actually love dungeon meshi a lot and i tried to make fan art for it but the spark wasn't there for me either. i think i'll still finish it, but it's kind of funny we both are in the same spot with the same thing... :p

and i agree that hearing other people's thoughts of the unique way online fandoms are and interact would be really interesting, because i never even thought of it like that! i mean yeah fandom did exist before but you're right that there's this really specific way we interact and welcome people into our communities and even transform the work together as strangers who don't even know each other and just appreciate what brought us together. fandom spaces hold a dear place in my heart because even if it's small you can feel heard. like the slower nature of the discovery and conversations between fandoms is so much more approachable to me than having an irl conversation that lasts maybe five minutes and doesn't happen again, unless you have a friend who is ALSO really into it. but i like the idea of my artwork and such just existing to be discovered by people who really really like it through what i like if that makes sense

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@BUTCHBONEZ
ooh mine are such random time spans but i totally get the fast switching fixations too. when i was that age i was super into mario but i feel like that's less of a "fixation" because it's an interest always in the back of my head, like the second i think i'm completely over the little red guy i'm like oh my god i need to play one of the games posthaste

that's so cool you memorized all of them though and had an impressive collection! :o

[Junebug]

Zero seconds. Vanitas no Carte is love. Vanitas no Carte is life. I can talk about Vanitas no Carte forever; I simply never tire of it. If there was ever a manga that could've been written for me, it's this one.

[almostcorporeal]

i'm currently super into the yu-gi-oh tcg! i've been spending all my time building decks, collecting cards that i need for said decks, testing decks in simulators, watching ygo youtubers, the whole nine yards.

for creating actual works, i mostly create work surrounding my ocs so i havent had a media interest i've been super into in a really long time

[Paprika]

I'm into comic-books since... 1995. Yeah. Not getting younger, eh ? 

It was always by my side, I've had a couple up and downs due to life situations like moving out, getting a job, wasting my time with social media, etc.

However, I never gave up completely. Before I had a job I couldn't buy everything I wanted, so I didn't bought comics every month and when I got my first paycheck I managed to fill the gaps. To to this day I still have some and I'm filling it little by little along buying new comics.

Unfortunately, I have nearly no one to talk about it and it frustrated me for a long time. At some point I tried to make it a revenue around ~2010 because the "Iron Man" movie got pretty popular and the Marvel Cinematic Universe was rising. I thought it would be the time of my life, I started a blog with adsense and everything, even prepared a youtube channel and a handful of social media account, but it never rose up like I wanted because for me, if it wasn't successful in a few weeks then it wasn't worth it. (yeah I was giga dumb to think like this)

So I restarted blog after blog thinking that this time it would be the good one. I made an instagram and tried to target as much people as possible but again, frustrated because no one seemed to care. Mid 2015 I thought it was a gigantic waste of time and while I was still buying I just wasn't into it anymore. I was feeling both shame and frustration, thinking that I'm not interesting and people didn't care about comic-books. Marvel movies felt like a nail in the coffin because around me a lot of people were excited by the movies and I was trying to push a little bit "You know, there's comics before movies.. If you read this or that it'll be nice" and get replies like "I'm talking about the movies, I don't care about comics" and I was super bummed.

In 2016 the thought of selling all my comic-books went through my head, I seriously considered emptying everything and moving onto something else that more people were into, like video games or mangas. I tried a bit of both but I just couldn't "feel" anything. It was nice reading something else or having a controller in the hands but that emptiness feeling was never satisfied.

I kept hesitating selling everything until 2018 where I made a post on a site where you can sell your personal stuff and listed everything with pictures. I got several calls and offers, but my gut was yelling inside "You're about to regret it, don't do it" and I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't into it and that it wouldn't be a big deal. I got a surprise visit from a friend that told me not to sell it. We had a long talk and they asked me to take down the post and read some, just in case.

I've started re-reading again and thought that in the end, it'd be sad if I sold everything. 2020 came and when COVID hit, I got to stay at home, reading comic-books every day and I realized that everything was fine. I didn't needed anything else beside a blanket and a stack of comics. In early 2022 I sold the ones that I didn't want to keep to make some space, and it really rekindled my love for comic-books.

I felt stupid for thinking about selling them. They were here from the start, they were here when I got bullied in middle-school, they were here when nothing else was there, they were here when everything was great. Why not going forward along them ?

Today I'm rather proud of my comic-books. Not because I have expensive issues or super rare variant covers. Because I really really like to read them, multiple times even. I don't need much beside those. I'm reaching a point in life where I see a lot of my friends trying to find a new hobby or wanting to buy something expensive like a sports car, a cool motorbike, a secondary home, etc. And I'm really happy and satisfied with my stacks of paper pages.

That's why I started my NeoCities, since I didn't cared if no one read it. I'm the one who reads and who enjoys it. If someone finds me and thinks it's cool, then nice. I don't want to hide my content behind a 20 minute video on youtube, an instagram account or a patreon. I love comic-books and my website is mostly a database and a love-letter to my hobby than anything else.

[Bakartridge]

Last time I truly was SUPER obsessed with something would be when I was like 12, I was ultra obsessed with Splatoon when that game came out. I made fan stuff (which was the first time I really made content online), watched videos on it, quoted the game all the time, played it a ton, the whole nine yards, then I moved on and became obsessed with Pokemon when I was 13. :P
Though that doesn't quite compare imo, I still had more interests than just Pokemon, it was just that Pokemon was the "main" interest if that makes any sense, it just didn't take over my whole life like Splatoon did so I consider that my last true obsession. My sorta pattern I've had for a while was finding something new I really liked, obsessing over it for like a year, then moving on to the next thing, and the cycle just repeats, lol. It never gets to "hyperfixation" level though, more just an increased interest for a while, since there's still other things I really like while having the "main" interest.

[Wildcat]

Last time I was truly obsessed with something was during 2020, for the movie 1917. I lived, breathed,  and ate that movie. It got me into the habit of reading fics regularly on AO3 for a while.

[grubbyfox]

i'm always super-duper into something, often multiple things. i'm used to not talking about it with people though, cause i know it can get annoying when people always have to bring up their interest and whatnot to others. i've got a friend who does that, haha and of course i like my friend anyway, but sometimes during her more intense periods, it was so hard to just have a normal convo because she just de-rail everything and have non stop monologues about her fixation of the month.

i do try to find a few friends that may be into it with me, like if i have a friend that i know may enjoy it too, i will suggest they take a look at it, and i'm pretty good at vetting these things, so usually they are into it with me, haha. but the older i get, the higher the chance that a friend may just "enjoy it" and leave it at that. very rarely these days that people (my age especially) become super obsessed anymore, or have time for that. they're busy raising kids, having families, all that stuff.

[tetrisk]

I had a period of like two years when I was a teenager where I was absolutely immersed into lucid dreaming. Read books, kept a dream journal diligently, practiced induction techniques multiple times per week, read through lucid dreaming forums daily... It was a big part of my life back then. I used to be able to remember multiple dreams every night, and I remember them being very clear and vivid.

I slowly lost practice and the drive to keep up since I was only really having a lucid dream every once in a while, and they were pretty short. But now that I think about it, just having good dream recall sounds extremely fun. Just imagine waking up each morning remembering the multiple weird stories your mind comes up with.

[glitterpigeon]

zero seconds. my special interests are special interests to me because they are an integral part of my identity. there is no me without them, i can't turn myself off!!

[livingdeadgrrl]

shittt like a WHILE, i was super into fandom (i.e: musicals, bts, hp, south park, camp camp, some animes etc.) in my tweens back when tumblr was allowed boobs but when the site imploded and the great exodus to twitter happened i just kinda started becoming more passively enganged in stuff since everyone kinda disappeared. This was also the time i started high school and the pandemic hit so i was just depressed and going through it. Once i had the time to re-visit i wasnt rlly able to adjust to how fandom changed on twitter, even if most of the ppl there were my age. ig these days ive just been reading bls and such, playing sdv, but it doesnt give me the same stimulation as it did in my tween years which tbh fucking blows cus i feel so separated from  a space i once considered home  but realistically its just a symptom of other mental health issues but wtvr

im still on twt for the fanart and all that but it doesnt feel like im in fandom as a whole anymore. its kinda like moving away for college and once you get back home, you find out that ur neighborhood burned down and is now replaced by some overcrowded apartment complex w ppl u dont know.

[zj]

The height of me being super-into something was as a young teenager, before I transitioned from female to male. As I had no outlet for my transness irl, I latched onto every male book character whom I could on any plane relate to. I would spend every school break in the library, absorbing book after book, immersing myself in any world where I could pretend I was the male lead to avoid facing the reality of being stuck in a teenage girl's body. As I finished a book, I would read fanfiction to stay immersed. I have never went through books as fast as when I used them to ecape my real life.

Now, I know that I am actually a bi transgender man who is mainly attracted to masculine people. But back when I was a teenage girl I intially didn't realise why I was so drawn to reading fanficion with gay pairings, or why I wanted to be one of the characters so badly - at the time I initially worried I was some sort of sick fujoshi, lol. Life comes at you fast.

NeoCities and website-making is my  most recent obsession, and one of the few ones that aren't related to the  previous subject. I only fully came out and could live as a man at age 21 three years ago, so I spent pretty much my entire adolesence entrenched into one of these obsessions, lol. It's been hard to find that same passion again, now that it's no longer fueled by escapism.