how to ask a stupid question (that is my question)

[the one who shall be unclept!]

sometimes i find myself wanting to ask a question on a forum, before rescinding my idea to post because i think that people will think the question in question is "stupid", or i simply come up with an answer to my question that satisfies me.

for example, i was originally going to make a post here with the question "how could i prevent myself from losing track of the vast web revival community on the internet (or at least drifting away from it over time)".

i decided to not post about that, because i realized multiple answers to my question before i even asked, and i thought that people would think it is stoopid of me to make such a question about something that most people already know how to do.

i guess this isn't so much a web/forum problem as it is a problem for me irl, cuz i have issues in asking questions (and talking) to people sometimes, and it makes me hesitant to go up to people and ask things. i usually assume the worst in folks, and assume that people will automatically be antagonistic or interrogative towards me, especially since i might not even be able to articulate my question right cuz i'm so goddamn awkward and long-winded in my approach 99% of the time.

OK, sorry i got a lil venty there.

overall, what i'm trying to ask here tho is how do u guys find the courage to ask a stupid question on the internet? (or maybe on this forum)

[CATBYTE]

i understand where you come from!
for me personally the "permanence" of posting used to make me hesitate before i asked anything online. strategies for the irl side of this issue might be a bit different, but in the context of online spaces here's my thought process before i post a question in any sort of online forum or platform:

firstly, is it relevant - does my question follow the etiquette and expectations for the space?
secondly, has someone asked something similar - can i gain something from that that may make me reconsider asking or ask a question from a different angle?

if my question pasts my little test i find that it's worth throwing it out there. even if the question feels stupid or silly the worst that can really happen is that nobody answers, which can feel bad but typically it's not from a place of resentment, particularly in slower moving places like forum boards. the best way to gain confidence with asking and engaging in online discussions is through participation! it might feel awkward at points but repeated exposure to these spaces definitely helps with time.

on an aside, i don't really believe in truly stupid questions either. there's certainly irrelevant or redundant questions but i think it's best to avoid shaming our curiosity!

[angelhanachi]

firstly, is it relevant - does my question follow the etiquette and expectations for the space?
secondly, has someone asked something similar - can i gain something from that that may make me reconsider asking or ask a question from a different angle?

I absolutely love this guide, it's exactly my thought process.

But I might also add a more in depth elaboration on this too!

First, check if you question is relevant to the forum's space.

If yes, proceed. If no, go to another forum where it's relevant. Relevancy can be gaged by looking at the reason a forum was created, the type of people that populates it and it's ambition. For example, Melonland was made to revive old web and a huge part of old web communities was the ability to dabble in web dev, therefore questions regarding web dev are relevant. :)

Second, has your question or a highly similar question been asked before?

If no, proceed. If yes, try to read that existing question first and see if it's relevant to your case and solves your problem. There are most likely three cases you will end up with:

• Provides full answer to your question. If so, your work is done here.
• Provides partial answer to your question. If so, ask on the existing topic as a reply.
• Answer provided not relevant or doesn't help. If so, proceed to the next step.

Third, do you know how to describe your problem?

I personally think NO question is a stupid question because to call any question a stupid question would be to assume everyone on Earth who isn't stupid is at the same level of knowledge as you, which is just plain false. Although, the users of Stackoverflow might disagree (don't use that site for anything other than referencing code from dead convos, participating is RSD HELL).

What I recommend is:

• A detailed rundown of the issue you have, what you're specifically trying to do and the code/progress/knowledge you have so far related to it
• Solutions that you've attempted before (if any)
• An explanation of what you want in an answer (In what coding language, explained in what way, what materials, etc.)
• And finally, the tie it all off in a neat bow, a lovely "Thank you in advance"

That's my elaborated version of this guide :)

[Y2KStardust]

On top of all of the above, I'd say: if you're new to a space or feel unsure, try your best to toss aside the feeling of a question being "stupid".
At my work, for example, I'm incredibly new. I've been told multiple times, it's better to ask a question 50 times than get it wrong ONCE.
This might not *exactly* be true for hobby spaces - there aren't really consequences for, example, typing a <div> wrong on the smallweb. But at the same time, people in the spaces you're in should be welcoming to newcomers and newbie questions, and if they aren't it's concerning and might be worth re-evaluating if you like the space enough to stay. Yes, if you're answering a question asked 50 times by separate newbie accounts it might get tiring for people - but in a lot of cases this is why there ARE dedicated newbie parts of forums/games/etc, so that you can ask someone who's happy to be in that space answering the question! 

[Rosaria Delacroix]

I've found that most people within the web revival and adjacent spaces are quite nice- in part because smaller communities tend to lend towards being welcoming to newcomers- that's how you recruit fresh blood, after all: a community is only really alive if it's got the living. So, there's a little less to fear, stakes wise. Especially given the eclectic mix of backgrounds people have, when wandering into such spaces: you have people who have fantastic art skills, but are skint on coding prowess: you have technowizards who've never picked up a colour pencil in their life. Because of that, I find it's a little more forgiving than other, more homogenous venues, where there might be a more reasonable expectation of a similar threshold of skills and abilities people bring to the table.

A little research before hand is always polite, I think- to quickly skim through and see if you can't find the solution readily at hand. (In the lab, this looks like me reading over the manuals- or more likely, the flowcharts I'd prepared when not frazzled and running on coffee fumes at an ungodly hour in the morning.) If nothing's apparent, and especially if the thing you're doing could involve quite the toll by way of expenses- (less of an issue here, but more so with expensive reagents, or even just manpower hours frittered away down fruitless avenues), then there's nothing wrong with a polite question.

Most people who are willing to engage are happy to share, because it saves them quite a lot of trouble that undoing a catastrophic mess from bumbling ahead with blind confidence can cause. Those who aren't, it typically isn't a personal thing- most people are far too wrapped up in their own heads to really care about others that they aren't super close to: both in a positive, and negative regard. I mean, we all remember that terribly embarrassing time we fell down or something in elementary: but pretty much none of our classmates from then would have any idea what on earth we were talking about. The mind has a fairly strong bias towards negative experiences, (as a way to re-enforce learning and how to avoid them,) but others really do forget quite readily, even if there is some temporary annoyance involved.

Something I was taught at a young age was that it's a mark of intelligence if someone is able to explain their niche to a layman. It demands a high level of understanding of the actual subject, and strong communication skills to accurately gauge and tailor your information to your audience: how you explain vaccines would differ when addressing a three year old, versus a highschooler, for example. To be able to teach your subject usually involves intimate knowledge- especially to field questions that someone not as wrapped up in it might have: tutoring my peers was a very effective studying method for me, and was suggested to us in some undergraduate psychology courses that focused on pedagogy.

The people who get affronted, and bluster on with ten cent words, usually are people who aren't capable of dissecting their work well enough to communicate it effectively to someone who isn't similarly up to their eyeballs in it. It communicates a lacking on their part, not yours- it's an important part of scientific communication, to be able to act as an intermediary between those who have similarly devoted themselves to their field of study and your run of the mill adult- to be able to capture attention for grants, sure, but also to fan interest in your field: to recruit starry eyed young scientists, and make people actually care about your sometimes quite absurd sounding experiments: like plopping mice into buckets of water and just leaving them in there until they give up. (That is a part of a protocol to test the effectiveness of some antidepressant medications- to see how long it takes until the rat gives into despair and gives up on paddling.) It's quite literally a skill issue, GG- and not on your behalf. People who get arrogant in this regard aren't really as smart as they might like to portray or believe themselves to be: the most blisteringly brilliant people I've ever known have been quite humble, and ravenously hungry to learn and teach, not just to preach and bask in admiration.

In a sense, it can actually be more beneficial to be the 'stupid' person in the room: it means that you're the person with the most to learn. It's a wonderful opportunity, and even if it's embarrassing or awkward- genuine curiosity and a willingness to learn are incredible virtues, and will take you much further than someone who sneers down their nose at people who they see as being beneath them due to their ignorance. You can always learn more, and grow- and in time, those experiences might lend you a real sense of grace and compassion for someone else in your shoes, when it's your turn to teach some shy nervous person who is petrified of seeming dumb for asking questions. It's dumber to not ask questions, and confidently fuck up- versus being aware of your potential areas for growth and improvement, and acting upon that knowledge by asking questions, being curious, and getting engaged.