being a disabled webmaster

[Bede]

I have always seen the web as an accessibility tool for me, because I am, as the kids say, "chronically online", but not by choice. My disabilities have left me socially isolated from all of my peers. And the ones that I didn't drive away with my inability to communicate or function, I drove away by being one of a small handful of queer kids in my small, religious town in the South. Both factors led to years of harassment, etc. I won't get into it.

But because I live surrounded by people who hate me, the web has been one of the only ways I've been able to make friends. The internet has less (or at least, different) social rules, no confusing facial expressions, and way more people who share my interests.

But then, of course, as the internet became more and more mainstream (especially after the pandemic), the internet became just like real life; ruled by the pretty people who will tell anyone who does something "wrong" to do horrific things. As such, I tried my hands at making my own site, and found it extremely fulfilling. It's helped me fall back in love with the internet. There are so many things I can do with some HTML and CSS, and has been so fulfilling for my disabled self.

But, of course, even the web revival movement has its issues for disabled folk. So, so, so many websites insist on being inaccessible for the sake of "accuracy to the old web." And so many elitists on Neocities dunk on things like HTML templates, saying things like, "Learning HTML isn't that hard!" Like, okay, for YOU maybe. Not all of us can be abled though. Come back to me when you have brain fog, executive dysfunction, attention issues and chronic fatigue, THEN we'll talk. MAYBE.

And, of course, there's issues of unspoken social rules within these spaces... Glitterpidgeon said it perfectly.

not to mention that any sort of social interaction brings with it new social norms to not understand, and new communities to feel alienated and excluded from. sometimes it feels like you don't belong anywhere, no matter how hard you try.

[serenefork]

I have POTS, depression, and a plethora of undiagnosed disorders, being a webmaster for me has meant that I've been able to have something to do during the day that isn't as exhausted and painful as many of my other creative interests. I only have a laptop so I sit in bed with it on my lap desk and I'm able to do a lot more than I would offline. It's helping me build a stronger sense of community that being stuck at home has disallowed me to have prior. It also has helped me with my depression in that instead of doom scrolling a social media site and not really engaging, I instead am able to go down rabbit holes of site that people have made and it makes me feel better.

[tertiaryapocalypse]

like a lot of others in this thread, i definitely find webmastery to be really good for me! i'm autistic (amongst other things, i'll bring those up later) and being able to make pages dedicated to aspects of my special interests is like, super good for my brain. it's like infodumping, but new & improved 

on the other hand, i'm pretty sure i have arthritis though im still in the process of attaining a diagnosis for that, which makes it really difficult for me to type for long periods. this also affects being an artist, writing, really all of my hobbies! i have compression gloves i'll use whenever i'm working for long periods, so that helps a bit.

i also have a really bad tendency to get super absorbed in my work, especially with webmastery, which makes it hard for me to remember how to basically function as a person. i forget to eat, drink water, use the restroom, and i end up staying up super late, which definitely does not help my sleep issues 

in the end, though, webmastering gives me a space to be able to engage with my special interests as well as giving me something to do online that isn't just a constant dopamine rush. intellectual stimulation, or whatever! it's easier to focus on for me than reading big blocks of text, and the only exacerbation of pain i get is somewhat mitigated by the aforementioned gloves. that's my two cents 

[pixiez]

i'm gonna concur with a lot of people--when i don't have the spoons for my other creative pursuits (writing + music mainly), i turn to fiddling with my neocities. it's pretty much lists of my interests and creative projects, and with the help of accessible stuff like website templates and straightforward tutorials online, i get a lot out of it. it helps me keep track of books and shows i like (i tend to "tunnel vision" onto whatever i'm currently fixated on and pretty much forget all the other stuff, lol), and also just offers as a nice space for me to just be myself in all my tacky, kitschy glory. when i first developed ptsd i had a pretty shaky sense of self and a lot of other debilitating symptoms, and it's nice being able to look at my page and see how far i've come.

[petrichoran]

honestly, being a webmaster is one of the more accessible things in my life. it's an indoor activity that i can just be at home for and work at my own pace! i also have pots, but my most prominent symptom is heat intolerance. i love doing things outside, but during hot weather months i just can't really handle it. i also have low blood sugar issues, and being at home helps me to get whatever food i want or need whenever i need it.

i do get eyestrain pretty bad, so it's not the best for me to stare at screens for long. but when i'm not online at home, i'm usually reading, writing, or creating art, all of which require eye focus as well, so i'm not sure how much of an impact it has. unless i'm doing things that require me to get a really good look at the colors on the screen, i have my brightness all the way down, which really helps me.

[OneMillionFurries]

Maybe it's because writing is already a spoon-muncher for me, but I find working on my website to be incredibly difficult, especially since I'm currently unmedicated. I feel guilty that I can't be as "active" as I want to be :( I have so many page and project ideas that I just can't seem to pull myself to do! It's so frustrating.

[fin600]

For me being a webmaster is freeing. To carve out my corner of the internet where I'll always belong is a big dream of mine. It was so nice to take out the HTML guides I had from my childhood and put an old hobby back into use, without worrying about more up-to-date skills that have gotten harder for me to get into thanks to brain fog and pain. Updating the site has been falling to the wayside thanks to life getting in the way, but I'm always drafting something in the background, saving more buttons, and dreaming up things I know I can do. Often my projects get close to finishing only to give me roadblocks I can't cross, but to have something I know I can do? It's a priceless treasure. It's also good for having something to do on the bad days. Why doomscroll when I can go hunting for more buttons and blinkies? I recently got introduced to Picmix and it's so much fun.

[halcybutton]

my site gives me something to work on that i am passionate about, which really helps me out mentally when i am feeling particularly down. however, i can't work on my site as much as i'd like due to several factors (brainfog, executive dysfunction, dissociation, my brain hates me lol). i pretty much have to hope for the stars to align to get something big done on my site, like a new page or major adjustments. on top of such, i have pretty bad focus, so i often take days at a time to do something like that. despite all of that, though, my site gives me purpose and a way to reach people. i am very isolated due to my disabilities, so it's nice having something out there that people can interact with. sometimes i feel bad i'm not very active with my site, along with feeling insecure about how it looks in comparison to other people's sites, but i try to remind myself i'm doing the best i can with what i've got. i also worry about not coming across correctly, since sometimes my words do not make sense. during those times i tell myself that my site is MY corner and what matters is that i'm happy with it. an added bonus is that i can make infodumps into a whole site page that people can read if they want, which is a huge win for my special interests overall, i really do like being a webmaster, even if my disabilities get in the way quite often

[boyrotting]

My site is still not published yet but I'm gonna add here anyways  It's really hard for me to work on my site because of my disabilities as well. I'll be hyper focused on it for like thirty minutes then go through a two day burnout and whatnot. I spend a lot of time in hospitals so I have to wait for the perfect moment to be motivated and have enough free time. Which I've been lacking lately ever since school so that's been happening even less. But it still is more accessible than other things for me, pretty much all psychical activities are a no go. And other hobbies like bracelet making require lots of patience which I do not have. I hope to start having a regular update schedule for it that's doable for me. Like twenty minutes everyday.