I haven't heard of a pre-made theme for status.cafe, I actually made my status.cafe theme by using the inspect mode (f12), and just add the styling using what I learnt about css. If you aren't familiar with HTML or CSS yet, I find using f12 really helps me understand how it works.
As for the Javascript part, I don't think it is possible to get the feed without using Javascript, as it is how you can obtain data from one page to another automatically. I'm thinking Iframes might work too, but it might look weird inside the iframe.