You own a store, but you can only sell your username. What do you sell?

[WhimsicalCookie5]

I would be selling magical cookies that smile at you and dance happy dances (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[MediocreMetastasis]

I have a feeling people would not want to go to my store...

[mothpanic]

just… some very nervous bugs…

I’d buy from here.

[Dan Q]

Well this is awkward.

I guess I'm selling... myself?

Pretty sure I'm the only "Dan Q" in the world! 

[Melooon]

retty sure I'm the only "Dan Q" in the world!

I always assumed it was pronounced Tank-qU (Thank You) with a funny accent So maybe that's just what you say when people make a purchase?

[Dan Q]

I always assumed it was pronounced Tank-qU (Thank You) with a funny accent So maybe that's just what you say when people make a purchase?

I have a stupid pointless podcast whose episodes I always end with "Dan Q for listening; Dan Q very much".

But I've probably heard every pun about my unusual name, by now. People most-often ask "Is it like Q from Star Trek?" or they ask "Is it like Q from James Bond?" (either of which I typically answer with "No, it's like Q, the set of rational numbers." Still, if you think you've got a new one, I'm all ears!

[SadOldMan]

A super fun day with me.

[Limette]

I'm selling limes! I wonder, would it still count if the limes are processed into something else, like limeade, or am I only able to sell fresh limes? Either way, I'd be happy with this kind of business.

[Dan Q]

I'm selling limes! I wonder, would it still count if the limes are processed into something else, like limeade, or am I only able to sell fresh limes? Either way, I'd be happy with this kind of business.

When life gives you @Limette, you get limeade! (Yum.)

[cufusti]

you get my persona. not in like a mini figurine or a marketable plushie, you get... clones. living breathing duplicates of my online representation that become your problem.
please somebody buy them, i'm stuck trying to turn the cloning machine off

[sloth_army1]

I'm selling Pilosa Militias, I guess. Please employ them responsibly.

[asillycalicokitty]

Calico cats. Or, perhaps, one singular (particularly silly) calico kitty. This of course raises a lot of questions. Is it just one calico cat at a time? One calico cat ever? Maybe, instead of selling the cat directly, my shop sells time with the eponymous silly calico kitty. There are many possibilities to explore.