So this is one of my stories I've been working on, it's not complete and will be edited as time goes on. I hope you like it!!!
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Introduction
If you could trade places with another person, just to escape all your problems would you? See
‘Cause I’ve hard that thought since I was eight. Hi my name Calum or Cal for short, welcome the hell that is my life.
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Journal Entry 1: Remembering to forget the bad; Don’t sweat the small stuff
“ Calum?... Calum!!! “
Calum is awoken from his daydream to the sound of his teacher, waking him up and kids laughing and giggling behind him. Calum, hates math class the worst part of being in HighSchool; The worst period all day.
...”Atleast during lunch he can hang out with the few friends he has in the library, away from all the kids that pick on him” , he thinks groggily
“I’m not going to ask again, could you answer the math question on the board.”, his math teacher said annoyed that Calum wasn’t paying attention and with a bit more force and sternest behind it.
Calum knows that if he doesn’t do what he is told he might be sent out, or might have detention. Calum looks at the board, pre algebra, not his favorite subject he is good at math but not very good at algebra, in fact he has been falling behind this yr. This has been caused by changing meds that are supposed to balance, his mood. What they really do, is cause horrible night terrors and have made him on edge.
-17 -34
—- ? —-
20 40
Which sign makes the statement true?
Was the question on the board, his anxiety swept over him like a wave of stress and over thinking. Why? Why he choose to not do his homework, why did decide it was a good idea just to stay out with a few friends until about nine last night? And why does his head and stomach hurt so much? Oh that’s from the terrible night terrors, caused by his awful meds that his dad insists he takes.
“Uhh the greater sign makes it true?”, Calum says still out of it from day dreaming and not knowing anything about math
This kids chuckle and laugh at him, great they all know he hasn’t paid attention or done his homework at all.
“Alright, alright calm down class. It seems someone hasn’t been doing the homework I send home or paying attention in class. Calum, I’d like to speak with you after class” , The math teacher says to the class and calum.
The kids make a sound that indicates they think he is introuble
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It’s lunch and calum’s friends and other kids are out eating in the lunch room.
Calum is walking to the lunch room looking like he is emotionally defeated.
He walks over to his friends at their lunch table and avoiding some bullies throwing stuff at him.
“So I heard you were humiliated during math class, and had to stay after to talk, how bad was it?” , Calum’s friend said trying to pry some information.
Calum tries to ignore the brown haired kid, who has a higher pitched voice and is slightly shorter than him. The boy who is his friend, has a stylish undercut that is popular with boys their age, and is wearing a Minecraft shirt and blue jeans.
“ Cal?”, The younger boy friend says in a sing song-y voice.
“Dude, why’re you giving me the 3rd degree? Did I say something wrong?” , calum’s friend says trying to get his attention
Just then another kid at the table speaks up in a sorta defense of Calum. He feels bad for Cal, and doesn’t want Calum to feel like he is being bugged at all by Calum’s friend. Even though he himself feels like he is also Calum’s friend.
“Alex, just leave him alone for a bit he’s had a hard day, possibly was burned hard by Mr. Johnston anyways” , Calum’s second friend or as Calum thinks of him as an acquaintance says trying to defend Calum.
“Aw come on Mr. Johnston isn’t that bad of a teacher, I mean he’s nice to me Brendan.” , Alex says trying to stick up for Calum’s and his math teacher
“that’s cause you’re passing, no offense Cal but since our friend is failing, he isn’t going to be that nice “ Brendan says.
“Im no good, I keep letting people down and myself. Im a failure, a loser” , Calum says depressed and looking sad
calum puts his head down on the lunch table with his book bag, which is on the lunch table while mumbling how much a failure he is. Both Alex and Brendan both look sad for Calum. However Alex tries to lighten the mood by making a joke.
“Hey, he finally speaks!!” , Alex says in a joking mood
Calum puts his head up and glares at his friend Alex, he didn’t find the joke funny at all and instead tries to ignore both his friend Alex and Brendan.
“what? don’t be like that, I mean you’re at least trying aren’t you? I mean you don’t have to follow that smart Asian stereotype I mean as long as you don’t give up then that’s all that counts.” , Alex says trying to cheer up his friend.
Brendan sorta overreacts to his friend Alex and calls out what he thinks is racism. Alex responds with a comment about how he doesn’t see what he says is racist.
“I’m sorry for saying what I said but I think if you’re trying then that’s what counts. That’s all what I’m saying, jeez guys.” , Alex
says defending himself and explaining his point a bit more
“ I agree, but what you said was a bit you know. Anyways, cal Alex has a point. You can’t just be hard on yourself like it’s the end of the world” Brendan says, helping to cheer up his friend Calum
“I know but I just.. I feel like crap”, Calum says being hard on himself
Both Brendan and Alex both say they know in unision and try even harder to cheer him up.
“ Sorry for asking, but what did the teacher say”, Alex says trying to figure out what really made Calum upset
Calum tells them what the teacher said, and how felt about it. However his memory is plagued with intrusive thoughts and negative emotions.
“ If you keep falling behind you’re going to have to take the grade over” , Calum’s teacher says worried
Translation in calums mind ;You’re too stupid for the eighth grade
“I know you’re smart, and I know you can do better”
Translation to calum: You’re a disgrace to your family and heritage.
Teacher: if you need help with this class you can always ask your friends, or you can stay after
Translation to calum: You’re too stupid to do the homework on your own, and a failure in this class so much you have to have other people help you.
“See Mr.Johnston hates me and all I do is look like a failure to him.” , Calum says being even more hard on himself
“ Calum, that’s not true maybe you’re remembering things wrong. I mean you’ve done that in the past before, so what makes this any different from the past?”, Alex says knowing that Calum does remember things differently
“ Exactly, it’s not your fault you do that I mean you’re mom was apart of the problem. I mean she was hella abusi-“, Brendan says being interrupted by Calum
“ Stop, stop, stop I don’t want to get into that hell I don’t want to think about that. I just wish I could do better in that math class, maybe get better grades”
Calum starts to look off into the distances, watching the other kids in the lunch room get their food sit down and eat. Watching them talk to their other friends and have a good time. Why can’t he be like that? Why does he have to worry about a stupid math class, worry about being the best. Why does he have to live up to the stereotype of the smart Asian student? Why can’t he just stop overthinking and just do the best he can?
His friends were right, it was all his moms fault. She was abusive, always criticizing him for not being the best in math, history, or science. Always mad that he was better at music and art. She never took pride in him.
Just then his thoughts were interrupted by the popular kids that play sports.
Suddenly, a basketball hits Calum in his head he goes to the floor holding his head in pain he starts to wonder who or what hit him.
" Awe I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, I thought all the bitch ass losers ate outside where they belong", One of the popular kids says as he makes his way to the unpopular table
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