You own a store, but you can only sell your username. What do you sell?

[RedBird]

I'd be selling red birds, and only red birds.

[pata]

Dadaist potatoes (IYKYK)

[lakes]

huge lakes obviously
but would i sell them to spoiled rich kids OR people wanting to start community gardens? that is the question

[AbsurdPirate]

Pirate memorabilia and Albert Camus books/merch

[soliloquy]

Hmm... old play scripts, on old-timey parchment scrolls tied with leather cord. You don't get to see which play it is you're buying a script for. Hashtag Play Script Blindbox Haul

[Corgithellama]

id be selling llamas all named corgi

[Rubbereon]

Rubber bands or rubber duckies of Umbreon the pokemon or other eeveelutions since they're seemingly the only options that make sense I believe.

[CrabbyJade]

it appears my shop would be full of green crabs. or crab shaped gemstones depending on how you want to see it.

[Sabertooth Pigeon]

Sabertooth pigeons

They'd totally be cute pets trust me!

[Onio]

onion flavored cereal

[knifex]

No, dont force me to sell my knife collection!

[sphinx]

Okay so you know those "exotic goods" stores at the mall that are just a catch-all for ceramic/resin statues? And there's always like, a section with waving cats, gold buddhas, giant paper fans, and then there a section with statues of dragons and fairies, and there's like random African masks on the walls and maybe some Celtic or Asian-looking wind chimes... probably a pick-your-own crystals section. Well, somewhere in that mix there's usually an Egypt assortment.

My store would be that, only just the Egyptian stuff. xD