Being alt in a decidedly alt-less world!?

[rinni]

Recently i got a set of deco press-on nails... really cute! Pastel french-tip coffins with colorful charms, some rainbow lollipops and a tiny cinnamoroll... i put them on today, and they make me feel so feminine and just... happy. but this post isnt about my struggle with that, it's about alternative fashion!

I'm a big fan of fashion subcultures, especially those originating in Japan, mostly in Harajuku also. The cutesy ones, the fancy ones, the dark and spooky ones, the ones that comment on society and gender norms... I like them all!    But... these are still just /sub/cultures... it's not exactly common to see people dressed this way, (hell, it isnt even common to see American style sub cultures around!) especially since i live somewhere with a very warm climate, and many fashion subcultures rely on heavy layering and accessorizing to make an outfit /pop/, and that's not super doable when its super hot. This, and the fact that dressing in alternative fashion inherently makes someone stand out are reasons it isn't really an option for me... not everyone is cool with being fun and silly and 'cringe' in public   

So that brings me to my question! I know that plenty of people in more niche communities like this one also lean outside of the norm in other aspects of life, usually-- (aka there's probably plenty of alt people here in MelonLand!)

To the alt people of MelonLand... how do you do it? Have you ever faced pushback from family or peers? Do you enjoy standing out, or prefer to blend into a crowd? What aspects of fashion, alternative or not, do you enjoy most? How do you express yourself though your clothes? 


I want to hear other perspectives!!    Even if you don't dress very alternatively irl but wish to! (Like me!!)   

[wygolvillage]

I'm goth and I like wearing dramatic makeup, black clothing, etc and I've gotten very little pushback apart from my grandma asking why I wore black lipstick to easter once (She's overall quite nice though). I'm not exactly in a "non alt" area though since we get a nice amount of local concerts and stuff within the subculture. My parents are also former goths, soooo...

I think my favorite part of my subculture is getting to feel a "shared joy" with so many likeminded people. There's something kind of magical about going to a concert or event and seeing everyone else with band shirts i recognize, smiles on their faces and excitement brewing through the air (don't get me started on how liberating it feels to dance without any self consciousness!). Overall I think my connection to the music of my subculture is a lot stronger than the fashion, but that part is definitely an important facet of my self expression too. I really love thrifting and doing a little DIY to accomplish my look.

I live in a pretty hot climate and honestly the secret to not overheating is that jewelry can go a long way to making an outfit feel more "intentional". I wear at least two necklaces, the layered silver chains definitely can make a simple outfit pop.

[dotmidi]

To the alt people of MelonLand... how do you do it? Have you ever faced pushback from family or peers? Do you enjoy standing out, or prefer to blend into a crowd? What aspects of fashion, alternative or not, do you enjoy most? How do you express yourself though your clothes? 

Oh god yes I receive so much push back from my dad but the thing is, if i'm going somewhere he isnt going i can wear whatever i want. He just doesn't want to be with me when I'm in my usual attire. 
Depending on the situation I dress in a multitude of ways, I am also goth and I like to tease my hair and do dramatic makeup. But I also like to dress just, like some kid from the 90s. Graphic tee and flannel. It depends on my mood and the structure of the day.
I actually do prefer standing out the most, I feel like people see such negative in the world but I had never really dealt with shit for being alternative, the worst was someone just muttering how weird I was.. I mainly get compliments from older people more than people my age! X)
my dad especially worries how my style reflects on him, says kids with dyed hair means they have bad parents ... and right after he said that some grandpa complimented me at the buffet we went to , so jokes on him.
Dressing how I wanted to at school was very nice, I got lots of compliments in bathrooms???? passing by, some girl once said to me i "look comfy" AAHAHA but I think my favorite is when people tell me I look like Siouxsie Sioux    mainly what my teachers would tell me, if I had the energy I would be dressing up trad goth every day honestly. I really need to practice my makeup more though... 
I actually don't think layering is all that, I live in Florida so it's way hot down here and literally you can just substitute layering with any kind of fishnets to prevent burning up. I would wear a KMFDM tanktop with fishnets underneath if i were to go out on a hot day, and for a long ass time 2-3 years ago every day I was wearing out patch shorts and pantyhose. usually with .. again, a graphic tee, and sometime a button up over it.
My favorite aspects of being alternative and the fashion is probably expressing myself through my clothes, and also the journey of being alternative. There is so much to experience in this bizarre world I love to explore soooo much music that's going on, or was.. I like seeing the weird representation of punks or goths in TV and Movies from the 90s and 2000s (where is also how I get inspiration for ways I dress.. especially SLC punk, that movie was a plethora of ideas for me aha) expressing myself through my clothes is probably the way I wear so many graphic tees of my interests. mainly bands, i have so so so many band tees. It would probably help me to own something that isn't a t-shirt but ehh.. It's really easy for someone to strike a conversation with you if they like a similar band, even if they don't seem "alternative" because a lot of the stuff I'm into (post-punk and new wave) was very popular to the older crowd of people I know, sorry if anyone feels old reading this AHAHA I am a lot younger compared to a lot of users on here.

[J. Soda]

I'm always in the process of customizing my clothes more, making patches, working on my jean jacket (I add things at a very slow pace because I only add things as I find them, I don't like to seek it out). I have two long braids in my hair, but most of the time in my Canadian weather, I don't look super alt. I haven't gotten to the winter jacket yet lol. I think I fly under the radar, because most of the time I'm wearing a tshirt and sweats because fashion is something I don't usually have energy for. When I do dress up in all my custom clothes, people look, people ask, and people compliment. I think my outlook and extrovertedness in public is something that keeps people's reactions relatively nice. When I eventually shift into something more chaotic and freaky, which I love, I think I'll get a little more backlash. It's just keeping in mind, at least for me, I really enjoy looking the way I want. We live in a world of endless possibility and I want to take advantage of that. It's fun to be in control of the self!!

[rinni]

I live in a pretty hot climate and honestly the secret to not overheating is that jewelry can go a long way to making an outfit feel more "intentional". I wear at least two necklaces, the layered silver chains definitely can make a simple outfit pop.

You're so right! My problem recently has been that it's hard to find nice alternative jewelry... Thrifting is a good option, but even then lots of people will scoop up the good stuff before you if you're a casual thrifter like myself-- and colorful jewelry is usually tacky and cheap... or only in child sizes Lol!!!

I actually don't think layering is all that, I live in Florida so it's way hot down here and literally you can just substitute layering with any kind of fishnets to prevent burning up. I would wear a KMFDM tanktop with fishnets underneath if i were to go out on a hot day, and for a long ass time 2-3 years ago every day I was wearing out patch shorts and pantyhose. usually with .. again, a graphic tee, and sometime a button up over it.

I think tights and fishnets can go super far too!! I've been looking for a cute knit shrug for forever, since I own so many white tank top-y shirts that would go wonderfully with some colorful accessories... Legwarmers and handwarmers are also a favourite of mine! I'm trying to find some cute ones... i only have one pair... sob... from Hot Topic...

Also, not having the energy to dress up a lot is so real.... but the fact we have the ability to make ourselves look so cool is really one of those small joys in life!! !!

[bear]

I'm not really an active alternative fashion wearer (maybe I fit some niche aesthetic like "comfort core" or "are-you-really-wearing-that-out-of-the-house wave" or "the same thing you wore last tuesday") since I sized out of most brands that offer those kinds of things quite quickly in my late teens, but I do try to keep a few things in mind when buying new pieces:

1. Avoid fast fashion at all costs. You will get 1-10 wears out of these pieces, and then you will hate them. Check the tags on clothes you find in thrift stores to avoid fast fashion brands--they'll only wear out faster second-hand.

2. Spend the most money on BASICS. Find things that YOU LIKE TO WEAR and invest in those pieces. Tailor them yourself or get them tailored (if you can afford it) to make them the most comfortable, easy-to-wear pieces in your wardrobe. Making sure your base is comfortable is super key to ensuring you can feel confident when going out wearing something "loud".

3. Build up your wardrobe slowly. We tend to forget that people build up their wardrobes over YEARS. You aren't going to fall in love with 20 pieces all at the same time, or at least I don't tend to. Once you have some nice basic pieces, you can buy pieces to layer on top of them or swap for them for a new look. For me, this tends to be button-ups to layer open over a plain shirt, a nice sweatshirt, or a fashionable jacket. For you, that might be mesh tops, tights, or leggings to wear under or over something that will keep you staying cool in hot weather!

4. Buy from sustainable, small sellers whenever possible. I like to get my accessories from art markets where I can actually meet the artist that made what I'm buying. There's always a lot of nice jewlery from independent sellers at those markets, just be sure it's of lasting quality (there's been a recent uptick in people just slapping Aliexpress charms onto chains and calling it their work, which is certainly... interesting.) I do buy things from artists who sell their stuff online if I trust them to be high-quality. In my circle, Knock Thrice, Maya Kern, Snag Tights, and Morning Witch are all pretty popular, but I'm not personally sure how sustainable they are (it might say on their sites!)

Think about what you wear most often, what you're the most comfortable in, and start there! If you can find some way to make your go-to day-to-day wear a little more alt, then it won't be such a big leap when you go out in public wearing something new! Know your limits, too, as I know my friends who dress more alt (punk, lolita, and y2k) sometimes get catcalled. Bringing along a buddy or staying in a group when you venture out might help you feel more safe as you start to navigate a new look.

[starbreaker]

I'm super basic because I've never seen myself as particlarly good looking, so I keep it simple: jeans, t-shirt, denim or leather jacket, and a pair of Chuck Taylors or Doc Martins.

[virtualtelegrams]

I mainly decided to start dressing how I wanted. I like the way certain things look and feel so I wear them. Higher energy outfits, eg ones I have to think about instead of grabbing whatever's clean, I don't manage to do very often but I find myself really happy when I do.
Pushback I've already had to get used to with some of my disabilities causing me to be/appear/act abnormally. I don't know if I get weird looks or not because I don't focus on other people when I'm walking around, I look at the ground so I don't trip over something.

[Memory]

While I don’t belong to a particular subculture, I can say with confidence that I don’t normally dress like anyone around me. I’m often asked by my family if I’m going out… /in that/, but I don’t let it get me down. One of the most important aspects of a happy & fulfilling life is to live a life that no one can take away from you: This comes in the form of independence & in the form of not letting yourself be swayed by others. If you see the way you dress as an affirmation of your values, it becomes easy. & maybe this advice is obvious, but just don’t care what others think of you. It doesn’t matter, not at all. Perhaps it's a bit morbid, but I think it's useful to keep in mind the top regrets of the dying:

• "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
• "I wish I hadn't worked so hard."
• "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."
• "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
• "I wish that I had let myself be happier."

With these thoughts in mind, I dress the way I want to. I value self expression above most other things & the way I dress is a natural extension of that. I also see it as a way of refusing to conform. A small example: I often hear (snide) comments about how baggy my clothes are, but I like baggy clothes & cannot stand their texture otherwise. To wear clothes that "fit" my body would be uncomfortable to me, & it's not something that I will compromise on. Why should I value the perceptions of others over my own self-perception? It's my life & it's that simple. The more you break away from these expectations, the easier it gets. Life is short & this is the only chance to live the way that we want.

[grubbyfox]

I was too poor to be alt, or any sort of style as a teen, lol ;__; literally just wore whatever was on sale and didnt make me angry to wear, haha. I wasnt into pink and stuff, but I did wear pink on occasion, but I wasn't particularly feminine so pink wasnt "pink" on me, ya know?


But I guess my "style" is on a thin line between 90s grunge/sporty grunge and uhm... looking like i'm about to be put on a watch list xD

I wear a lot of dark colors, bomber jackets, "army" colors, that sort of stuff.

Ive also embraced my old teen style, so i've bought myself some more relaxed jeans (I like the skinny stretch fits mostly.), I'm in the looks for those "studded hole belts" (not the studs but the open hole ones) but they've become so expensive for some reason, lol i remember they were a dime a dozen at some point.

So I wouldnt call myself alt in any way, but I def dress differenly just by default from most my age group/gender/etc etc in town, haha. They have like proper outfits, new trends, this and that.

Oh and I'm not very attractive, heh so having any kind of clothes that make people look at me, yeah no.... we cant have that :(

[Yaya]

Honestly; I think part of my love for alt fashion came out of 1) not being able to afford fancy new fashion but still wanting to have self-confidence and 2) an enjoyment of loving myself while breaking norms.

I still struggle day-to-day, especially since my style is a kind of thrift store vibe. I do really love it and I love how it expresses myself. I definitely do notice that it gets harder as I get older, as more societal expectations come into place.

I do think I have it easy as my look is kind of neutral but I still get flagged as different by most people.

The main thing that helps me is hanging around with people who support me and are honest (i.e. they tell me if I look bad or good but according to my type of fashion rather than other styles), and by working on my self-confidence and trying to extinguish self-doubt.

I also let my anxiety run wild in that if I try something and I'm anxious that doesn't necessarily mean I don't like the clothing but rather it means it's something new and scary. If, however, I try some clothing out a few times and it doesn't "work" then I donate it or sell it rather than trying to be something I'm not. I'm not very good at it though.

Kindness and confidence! Be yourself you got this!

[crow-queen]

Over the past year I have worn gothic & lolita fashion regularly, and I live in a place that's quite far out from a city. Most people I meet in real life are generally positive and supportive. The place where I've faced less positivity is from my mother, who considers herself to be quite fashionable (and she is, as far as mainstream fashion trends go), and seemingly believes I am just embarrassing myself. I also don't wear anything overly ruffly to work, since the office I work in is really casual, these sorts of styles stand out a lot.

Because of these 2 factors I have basically 2 versions that I wear of the style. One when I'm dressing for me, and another which is much more dressed down (closer to otome style, Physical Drop Tuck JSK is an example of a main piece that I might wear in this situation) for when I'm either going to work or spending time with my mum.

It can be hard knowing that there are certain people in my life who don't support me to dress in a way I like, but I am lucky that the general public where I live aren't super biased towards alternative fashion. I can dress in a gothic way even for work as long as it's casual enough. I don't mind standing out, but I don't want to be made uncomfortable for it.

There are admittedly areas which I avoid going to, but that's because they're dangerous both in and out of alternative fashion.

Overall I love wearing this style, I feel like it helps me to express myself and show my creativity in fashion without relying on showing my body off too much, and I love that I can express the way I feel with my clothes.

[Yaya]

I'm super basic because I've never seen myself as particlarly good looking, so I keep it simple: jeans, t-shirt, denim or leather jacket, and a pair of Chuck Taylors or Doc Martins.

Honestly I do the same! And I don't think simple is bad; for me it's a way to elevate my personality rather than my clothing. I still think there's a TON of cool customization to be done even within the realm of simplicity!

[Yaya]

Find things that YOU LIKE TO WEAR and invest in those pieces. Tailor them yourself or get them tailored (if you can afford it) to make them the most comfortable, easy-to-wear pieces in your wardrobe. Making sure your base is comfortable is super key to ensuring you can feel confident when going out wearing something "loud".

3. Build up your wardrobe slowly. We tend to forget that people build up their wardrobes over YEARS. You aren't going to fall in love with 20 pieces all at the same time, or at least I don't tend to. Once you have some nice basic pieces, you can buy pieces to layer on top of them or swap for them for a new look. For me, this tends to be button-ups to layer open over a plain shirt, a nice sweatshirt, or a fashionable jacket. For you, that might be mesh tops, tights, or leggings to wear under or over something that will keep you staying cool in hot weather!

4. Buy from sustainable, small sellers whenever possible. I like to get my accessories from art markets where I can actually meet the artist that made what I'm buying. There's always a lot of nice jewlery from independent sellers at those markets, just be sure it's of lasting quality (there's been a recent uptick in people just slapping Aliexpress charms onto chains and calling it their work, which is certainly... interesting.) I do buy things from artists who sell their stuff online if I trust them to be high-quality. In my circle, Knock Thrice, Maya Kern, Snag Tights, and Morning Witch are all pretty popular, but I'm not personally sure how sustainable they are (it might say on their sites!)

Think about what you wear most often, what you're the most comfortable in, and start there! If you can find some way to make your go-to day-to-day wear a little more alt, then it won't be such a big leap when you go out in public wearing something new! Know your limits, too, as I know my friends who dress more alt (punk, lolita, and y2k) sometimes get catcalled. Bringing along a buddy or staying in a group when you venture out might help you feel more safe as you start to navigate a new look.

I'm not really an active alternative fashion wearer (maybe I fit some niche aesthetic like "comfort core" or "are-you-really-wearing-that-out-of-the-house wave" or "the same thing you wore last tuesday") since I sized out of most brands that offer those kinds of things quite quickly in my late teens, but I do try to keep a few things in mind when buying new pieces:

1. Avoid fast fashion at all costs. You will get 1-10 wears out of these pieces, and then you will hate them. Check the tags on clothes you find in thrift stores to avoid fast fashion brands--they'll only wear out faster second-hand.

2. Spend the most money on BASICS. Find things that YOU LIKE TO WEAR and invest in those pieces. Tailor them yourself or get them tailored (if you can afford it) to make them the most comfortable, easy-to-wear pieces in your wardrobe. Making sure your base is comfortable is super key to ensuring you can feel confident when going out wearing something "loud".

3. Build up your wardrobe slowly. We tend to forget that people build up their wardrobes over YEARS. You aren't going to fall in love with 20 pieces all at the same time, or at least I don't tend to. Once you have some nice basic pieces, you can buy pieces to layer on top of them or swap for them for a new look. For me, this tends to be button-ups to layer open over a plain shirt, a nice sweatshirt, or a fashionable jacket. For you, that might be mesh tops, tights, or leggings to wear under or over something that will keep you staying cool in hot weather!

4. Buy from sustainable, small sellers whenever possible. I like to get my accessories from art markets where I can actually meet the artist that made what I'm buying. There's always a lot of nice jewlery from independent sellers at those markets, just be sure it's of lasting quality (there's been a recent uptick in people just slapping Aliexpress charms onto chains and calling it their work, which is certainly... interesting.) I do buy things from artists who sell their stuff online if I trust them to be high-quality. In my circle, Knock Thrice, Maya Kern, Snag Tights, and Morning Witch are all pretty popular, but I'm not personally sure how sustainable they are (it might say on their sites!)

Think about what you wear most often, what you're the most comfortable in, and start there! If you can find some way to make your go-to day-to-day wear a little more alt, then it won't be such a big leap when you go out in public wearing something new! Know your limits, too, as I know my friends who dress more alt (punk, lolita, and y2k) sometimes get catcalled. Bringing along a buddy or staying in a group when you venture out might help you feel more safe as you start to navigate a new look.

Honestly this post is amazing and everything I needed. I wouldn't be surprised if many people here since we share similar interests also share a similar fashion sense or style--I'm always on the hunt for brands so if anyone else has suggestions please send!

Also these guidelines are amazing. I grew up with hand-me-downs and cheap clothing that was always replaced; so investing in clothing is a concept that took me a while to get down. Also, I think that moving from an inauthentic closet to an authentic one does take time, and it's really good to be reminded that that is OK. Sometimes I get worried about things not being perfect, or trying new outfits and them not working, but that is the only way you learn and grow!