Corrupt a wish!

[tarocchilla]

Hi! i wanted to start a little forum game i really like!
you have to corrupt the wish of the person who commented before you, and express a wish yourself.
for example:

person 1: i wish i was a cat!

person 2: granted, but you stink
i wish i was taller

person 3: granted, but all of your clothes don't fit you anymore
i wish i had a typewriter

etc....

I'll go first:

I wish i understood math really easily

[rugar]

. . . aaaaand now your mind is understimulated so you constantly occupy yourself with complex equations about everything you see

i wish 2 be proficient at guitar

[Melooon]

Granted, but you are abducted by Loxilor the Space Queen of Jupiter who loves your playing and forces you to play wonderwall at her cosmic dorm party FOREVER!

I wish I ran a cool games company!

[tarocchilla]

Granted! .....But you are forced to make soulles football games because of the current economy

I wish i had a gaming pc

[MamboGator]

Granted, but it only plays games from the Windows 95 era. I hope you like Mech Warrior 2.

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller.

[/home/user/]

Granted, but now some of your dearest people in life are afraid of you.

I wish I could learn things effortlessly.

[wris]

Granted, but you can no longer feel a sense of achievement having learned something, and also now the CIA are after you because you know too much.

I wish my headphones would never get caught on anything ever again.

[isopod]

Granted, your headphones are now "true wireless" Bluetooth earbuds and you keep losing just one of them.

I wish my computer had unlimited hard drive space!

[tarocchilla]

Granted, but the hard drive is the only upgraded thing making the computer s u p e r s l o w

I wish my cat didn't throw litter out the box when she shits

[Melooon]

Granted, but your whole house is a HUGE litterbox now and when you leave people look at you like “Eww there’s that person who lives in a HUGE litterbox, don’t let them touch fruit in the fresh produce section!!”

I wish I had better luck in randomised lotteries

[/home/user/]

Granted, but your winning streaks lead to investigations that accidentally end up uncovering a giant unrelated fixed-lottery cheating conspiracy, banning the entire practice nationwide.

I wish I could beat Magnus Carlsen in chess.

[Cobra!]

Granted, but he knows and will never let you play against him.

I wish I could speak every language in the world, real or fictional.

[tarocchilla]

granted, but you get an accent so thick that no one understands when you talk in english

I wish i owned an electric car

[/home/user/]

Granted, but the world is moving away from the road and onto the rail, leaving you with a useless vehicle in just a few years.

I wish everyone in the world turned into cute lil bunnies overnight.

[Cobra!]

Granted, but their new found breeding instincts kick in and the world becomes so overwhelmed that it's no longer stable for life.

I wish I was able to freeze time and unfeeze it whenever I want