Not sure how much if any of my banter here resonates with anyone, but I'm just kind of fed up of what I feel like is just karma telling me to give up. I knew I didn't socialize as often as my peers in school and I admit most of it is due to being focused on school work. Although I do sometimes think it's something else... I did get into school clubs during high school - which was only about 2 or 3. I kept to myself a lot and honestly it was okay. But now as an adult, it's blooming lonely as all heck.
Most interactions I had to this point were from when I used DeviantArt but I didn't continue after the issue of an unwanted comment and people throwing a fit with me over the removal. I didn't handle the situation as well as I should've but at the same time, I knew the other end was not going to listen to reason because they were convenienced I was a jerk (at least I think). Can't say for sure if this is just the start of where I became more anxious and/or paranoid about how I reacted and said things online, but I knew I wasn't well liked by everyone and I was going to attract drama to the point of leaving.
Even now, there are some days where I feel like I'm just a small footnote in a chat room; another pathetic person trying to get in somewhere; loner that felt like they were never going to get anywhere because of the lack of connection. It doesn't help that I'm bad at socializing and I admit that, but I end up hitting real low points to just doing away with every bit of my digital footprints and not bother being online at all.
If this is not appropriate for here, I do apologize for that. It does seem to be a mood breaker. I have been so used to lack of interactions from others it doesn't bother me - until it passes the moderation check and it's excessive...
Posts & Arts: 62/1k.beats
Websites are like whispers in the night 
Author
