Not With a Bang, But a Whimper - AOL Kids Story - Proofread needed - ✍︎ ∙ Post ur Writing

Back with a banger I guess, I've been working on a video script for a little over a year. I've been watching a lot of Defunctland, and this draft is back on my mind. I think it's done, but my tummy hurts and idk if I can focus on it right now. And I need an extra pair of old-web inclined eyes! Below is a link to a PDF of a script for a dastardly long YouTube video. (For the uninitiated, I sometimes do that.) What I need from you guys is...

-General thoughts
-Logical errors - Did I assume the viewer already knew something they don't? Underexplained concepts? So on, so forth.
-Things you would have liked me to mention
-History that I missed that would make the video better
-If I were to manage to contact someone who worked on the KOL project, what would you like to know? The history is sparse, and if I can get the courage, I'd like to email someone who worked on the site to give their thoughts and insight. (Maybe a Reddit post? "Do you know someone who worked on AOL's kids site circa 2000? EMAIL ME")

Last note is that Kaori is the name of the Vtuber character narrating the video. (In case it wasn't obvious by the script's formatting!)

That's all!