i'm back, and i've changed some things! (reintroduction)

[benny1548132]

 hi guys! it's probably been a really long time. it sure feels like that. i used to go by a different name, one relating to whales, but i changed it (and you can think about it, but please don't type it out) for my privacy's sake. hey, Melon or a mod, if you can, since i seemingly can't, please delete my old posts where i link to the old version of my website & use the old name for it, and modify the url for my 'room' so it reflects the new name? just call me benny!! i came back because i saw that my inactive forum was linked in the list of member-supported forums on the forum revival guild's list someone needs to update that list and i actually have a new forum now. here's the link to that, and this is the link to the new version of my website. i think it will stick around as is for a long time because i'm finally very very happy with it. i also just missed melonland, specifically the melonland forum. i really really like forums

[SweetBasilSeedBomb]

Welcome back! I wasn't here when you were around as I'm a new member so it's very nice to meet you! Reinvention is truly a blessing and I'm glad you were able to find yourself on your travels and we're glad to have you again!

[zomboid]

hello! welcome back! feels like an odd thing to say but i like your vibe :^) i really enjoy your bit of exposition in your about me and i'm curious about the layout/structure of your forum! definitely signing up, gonna see about spending some time there 

[pepper]

Hi! I'm new here so I wouldn't remember your old account anyways but welcome back anyways :3

I really enjoy your photography, the compositions of the city pictures are lovely. What camera do you use? Digital or film? (I am also a photographer I have some of my photos on the art hub here and also on my site )

[benny1548132]

Welcome back! I wasn't here when you were around as I'm a new member so it's very nice to meet you! Reinvention is truly a blessing and I'm glad you were able to find yourself on your travels and we're glad to have you again!

reinvention is a blessing, honestly.

i'm kind of a weird guy, i struggle with some aspects of my identity, and as such, i feel a lot of pressure knowing that if don't otherwise delete or archive them, other 'versions' of me stay visible past when i'm comfortable with that. every few years or so, i become disillusioned with myself -- or whatever version of myself that i know everyone can see -- and try to burn everything and start fresh entirely, instead of, i dunno, allowing people to see that i grew or changed. i was always this. in a few years, maybe, i'll have always been the next thing

in this specific case, though, that was not the deciding factor when i changed my name & other things. i actually didn't want to. it really is about my privacy/safety

[virtualpet2001]

very nice website. it can be hard to be vulnerable to strangers. looking at your website thoughts were brought into my head, but i don't know if you think it'd be rude coming from a stranger, so i put them under the spoil:

Spoiler

this is even harder than being vulnerable but the reward is all the worthwhile: being kind to yourself (your body, your thoughts, your soul) spreads flowers all around you and makes everyone else happier too. this is hard because it doesnt come naturally when your brain or body wont do any of the other things you want to do. but i promise its very worth it a lot. maybe this sounds saccharine to you but i really do mean it. take care of yourself

[close]

[benny1548132]

hello! welcome back! feels like an odd thing to say but i like your vibe :^) i really enjoy your bit of exposition in your about me and i'm curious about the layout/structure of your forum! definitely signing up, gonna see about spending some time there 

yes, i saw you joined my forum! i saw your introduction. i hope you enjoy your time there, however long it lasts. i am not good at accepting compliments, but thank you for the compliments. i am awkward & nervous, but grateful

[benny1548132]

Hi! I'm new here so I wouldn't remember your old account anyways but welcome back anyways :3

I really enjoy your photography, the compositions of the city pictures are lovely. What camera do you use? Digital or film? (I am also a photographer I have some of my photos on the art hub here and also on my site )

thank you, thank you so much

photography is one of my favorite things, it saved me, it gets me out of the house. i use a digital camera, but not a cheap one. i mean, it's cheap-ish. i'm not rich. it's just the best & maybe most expensive thing my otherwise shitty parents have ever gotten me. except for maybe my mobility aid/s. it's a Canon EOS R50V. it's one of my favorite objects. it comforts me, when i go out, even if i don't take anything with it, at this point.

i will check out your photography, imminently 

[benny1548132]

very nice website. it can be hard to be vulnerable to strangers. looking at your website thoughts were brought into my head, but i don't know if you think it'd be rude coming from a stranger, so i put them under the spoil

hey, thanks. i read it, all of it. it's something i really struggle with, and it does feel very 'sweet,' and you're right, it would be 'too sweet' if it didn't seem like you meant it, but it also kind of seems like you mean it. i'm thinking, just based on first impressions, that you might be very kind yourself

[SweetBasilSeedBomb]

reinvention is a blessing, honestly.

i'm kind of a weird guy, i struggle with some aspects of my identity, and as such, i feel a lot of pressure knowing that if don't otherwise delete or archive them, other 'versions' of me stay visible past when i'm comfortable with that. every few years or so, i become disillusioned with myself -- or whatever version of myself that i know everyone can see -- and try to burn everything and start fresh entirely, instead of, i dunno, allowing people to see that i grew or changed. i was always this. in a few years, maybe, i'll have always been the next thing

in this specific case, though, that was not the deciding factor when i changed my name & other things. i actually didn't want to. it really is about my privacy/safety

Ahhh, I see :( Well, I hope this has brought you some safety and peace! I'm sorry it wasn't a joyful choice but I hope it will bring joy in time to come.

[zomboid]

yes, i saw you joined my forum! i saw your introduction. i hope you enjoy your time there, however long it lasts. i am not good at accepting compliments, but thank you for the compliments. i am awkward & nervous, but grateful

it happens to all of us :3 im not sure anyone on earth knows how to react to someone going Hey you're cool    so we all just try to take it in stride. i do want to say i like that its a very open-ended forum ^_^ most to all the ones i come across are, understandably, for a specific topic/thing (like dragon cave/dappervolk forums, other fan forums and so on) and melonland is in its own way, but i appreciate that it's got a bit more variety of taste with being "okay, here's lots of places for you to have space to share your things and talk at length about what you're doing" as opposed to "here's a little sub-forum for people to talk about, idk, their non-descript art"

anyways, now that i'm not uhh 10 minutes before my shift starte d, i had more time to actually look around your site and i would like to second pepper's sentiment that your photography is wonderful :D i dont know anything about actual photography or machines but your eye for patterns and contrast and composition is wonderful and i do hope you get the chance to see more beautiful things soon

[benny1548132]

Ahhh, I see :( Well, I hope this has brought you some safety and peace! I'm sorry it wasn't a joyful choice but I hope it will bring joy in time to come.

thank you. it sort of already has...mostly due to the kindness of others :3

[benny1548132]

anyways, now that i'm not uhh 10 minutes before my shift starte d, i had more time to actually look around your site and i would like to second pepper's sentiment that your photography is wonderful :D i dont know anything about actual photography or machines but your eye for patterns and contrast and composition is wonderful and i do hope you get the chance to see more beautiful things soon

thank you. i didn't think i had an eye for patterns/contrast/composition. i just take photos of stuff i find to be...yeah, beautiful. but i don't think everyone has the same understanding that i do of what 'beauty' is. i think that i'm a very desperate person, because of my life circumstances, and that's probably the only reason my photos are any good; because i'm taking photos in directions i want to go, aiming at skies i want to see more of, noticing the little things other people don't notice or actively dislike, trying to...explore other perspectives, and experiences, other than my own, through the camera, etc. i do not need to care about anything else. i think bad angles are good angles, and i think weird zoom and no zoom are both good, too. i think everything is good, can be good, as long as it feels...alive. alive and like it's going to reach out and touch me. it's not very technical to me. i don't know that much about my camera either, actually, other than what it's called. i leave the settings on automatic so i don't fuck anything up