Antelope and Bug

[Melooon]

"Hello Antelope" said the bug, "I am eating soup!". "No you are not" replied the antelope, "that is a thistle branch". The bug looked bothered "How could you decide that my soup is a thistle branch when I have just told you it is my soup!". The antelope chuckled "have you ever seen a thistle branch my friend the bug?". "How could I know if I have ever seen a thistle branch when I am only trying to eat my soup that is very difficult and spiny".

The antelope nodded in agreement "your soup is difficult and spiny because it is a thistle branch!". The bug looked at his soup, then looked at the antelope. The antelope looked at the bug, then the bug flew away.


"Heavens bug! What's that up there??" The antelope gasped as he looked up. The bug replied "I do not know I have not looked at it yet". "Goodness there's a lot of it" said the antelope. "I would not know anything about that, antelope". The antelope continued to look up for a few minutes then looked at bug. "Zzzzzz" said the bug, the antelope chewed some bush grass and forgot all about the thing above them.


Antelope and bug went to the post office and the postman said, "I have a delivery for antelope and bug", and they both said "no you don't we did not order a delivery". The postman said "this is very rude" and he climbed onto the ceiling in a huff. Everyone in the post office said "We will call the plumber if you don't come down and give us our post!". However the postman just laughed at them. Soon the plumber arrived and said "Hello my name is the plumber". Everyone from the post office went to the zoo while the plumber got to work, and at the zoo they met a mongoose. Antelope said to the bug "That mongoose is illiterate" and the mongoose replied "My name is the plumber", so antelope carried the mongoose back to the post office, and the bug said "come down postman, we have a mongoose"! However the postman just laughed and said "No, I have a mongoose", he then picked up the mongoose and put it on the ceiling. "This is a situation!" shouted everyone in the post office. Bug observed "there is now a postman and an mongoose on the ceiling". The postman said "You cannot comprehend a great mind like mine". However everyone said "you are a chandler", and the postman said "Oh no, I am a chandler" and transformed into a chandler. Antelope and bug said they knew nothing about chandlers and could not resolve this situation, so they wandered back into the wilderness.

[sofadog]

"I am eating soup!"

"Hello?">
"Hey, what's up?">>
"I need your help, can you come here?">
"I can't, I'm buying clothes.">>
"Aight, well hurry and and come over here!">
"I can't find them.">>
"What do you mean you can't find them??">
"I can't find them, there's only soup.">>
"What do you mean there's only soup??">
"It means there's only soup!">>
"WELL THEN GET OUTTA THE SOUP ISLE!!!">
"ALRIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME!!!">>
*Walks outta the soup isle*>>
"THERE'S MORE SOUP!!">>
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE SOUP????!!!">
"THERE'S JUST MORE SOUP!!!">>
"GO INTO THE NEXT ISLE!!">
"THERE'S STILL SOUP!">>
"WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW??!!!">
"I'M AT SOUP!!">>
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR AT SOUP??!!">
"I MEAN I'M AT SOUP!">>
"WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN???">
"I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!!">>
"WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE????">
"FUCK YOU!!!!!!">>

(click the hyperlink for the original meme)

[Melooon]

Antelope spotted bug waddling along the pavement, "What is occurring, bug?". "I am barreling along!" announced the bug!. "Do you not mean you are bugging along, bug? Given that you are not a barrel?". Bug did not respond, so antelope followed the bug until the police man arrived. "This is a police matter" said the police man. "He is barreling along" replied the antelope solemnly. Looking shocked the police man announced "I cannot arrest a bug for barreling, because a bug is not a barrel". The antelope replied "If you cannot arrest this bug then you must not be the police man". "If I am not the police man then I do not know what I am, and I am no better than this bug who believes it is a barrel". The antelope thought for a while, "One of us must be the police man, therefor I must be you, but if that is the case, why are you wearing my uniform?". "This is a serious crime!" announced the police man, who promptly arrested himself for wearing his uniform.

[haumeaGeth]

I am snapping very solemnly as I sip my cappuccino. The sax player punctuates your story with a jazzy beat. The room falls silent as the drummer taps lightly on the cymbal, setting a beat for your next piece.