Discord

[shevek]

I used to do the same things as levya! Especially during the pandemic. It really can feel like you're forcing yourself into an established friend group if the server is fairly small and they have lots of in-jokes.

I used to be part of some big servers and engage a lot in there. I actually met my girlfriend in a big Discord server. But what I found exhausting about it is the intense FOMO it can create, especially on servers with multiple time zones, so there's lots to catch up on at all times. It can be hard to draw a line and not check it or not participate when at least some people are always available and continuing the discussion, but you need to sleep or get stuff done. I also see it a lot that servers split into smaller servers and groups who then split again because of drama.

What I also didn't like is that big community servers often tend to have at least 1-3 hyperactive, very intense users that are controlling a lot about the space and that seem very untouchable, or the culture feels as if you cannot disagree with them. Not to mention the very active and very online users often tend to be the ones that are very emotionally reliant on the space and it colors the entire participation of them and how you're interacting with them. That often made me leave at some point as well. The most harmless reasons I've left before were probably because I simply wasn't interested in the topic anymore or I discovered I had nothing more to say and we were having the same discussions over and over again simply for the new people who joined. I just moved on.

I've never been one to collect Discord servers because I like everything really minimal and organized about my digital space and I tend to always sort through everything from playlists to bookmarks to software to Discord servers and discard stuff I no longer need or want. My Discord nowadays is really just for small friend groups and their events; either group DMs for Jackbox/Gartic Phone/etc evenings, or our dedicated Discord servers for our pen and paper stuff that is digital. Then I have my own server where I dump all kinds of stuff in different dedicated channels like graveyardsoup does (stuff for my degree, for my art, pins, cool links, ref images etc) and a server for me and my girlfriend where we share our watchlist, a recipe channel and other couple stuff.
The two big servers I'm still in are for informational purposes (university information, and the other server pings me when a certain creator uploads specific kinds of videos).

I see the same disappointing hypermonetization as you people as well and it really bothers me. It seems like it is a cycle of finding a good alternative until that one inevitably also sells out. And you're always tied to what the majority uses.

[Memory]

I used to frequent Discord a lot pre-pandemic but right now it only exists for me to share cat pictures with my ex-roommate. We could easily do so in text but they insist... probably because they shill out for Nitro or whatever the premium version is called.

As with Twitter, I found it was just a place that instigated unnecessary drama and emotional manipulation on top of straight up not being a good place to thoughtfully communicate with more than one person at a time. As an instant messenger and voice-over service I guess it's fine but for communities? Give me a forum any day. I wish more of them still existed, and perhaps more will pop up as I'm clearly not the only one with this sentiment.

There's also the issue I've found where I've tried to join communities only to end up basically babysitting 13-year-olds. I don't inherently have a problem with younger users but there's a line where things degrade into said babysitting and it's a very easy one to cross. I just don't have the energy to be a mentor figure anymore.

[Memory]

Discord is a spyware that sends your data to China servers in China. From a privacy perspecitve, this is not tolerable. I will never ever use Discord. Hopefully it dies quickly and the mass of users have a better taste for their next meeting platform, that respects them more.

My option for group voicechat, although it's not comparable to Discord as a whole, is Teamspeak 2. The old version of 2003 (happy aniversary by the way), that surprisingly still runs on new Windows systems as well as the old Windows systems of back in the day. Lots of open servers with lots of room. The codecs are old and efficent, a big advantage performancewise. That makes the other people sound like they're on the telephone. Anyways, it works and can be self-hosted and that's the point.

[Memory]

I've seen Discord's ToS and community guidelines and for the most part it's par for the course, more or less just don't spam on the platform, don't harass people, and don't do anything illegal. The privacy invasiveness is an issue to me, but if that was the only issue with it I wouldn't hate it as much as I do. My main issues with Discord are around its bizarre restrictions of clients, and its use as a forum/wiki alternative.

Discord has said that 3rd party clients and client mods are prohibited. The reason why their ToS doesn't allow them... Uh, they never gave one. Normally when a corpo comes up with a reason they don't allow 3rd party clients, they often use a common FUD tactic by claiming they're "insecure". In reality most of the time it's because they can't track users as easily on a 3rd party client, nor can they display ads on them. Discord is the only one I'm aware of that hasn't given a reason, real or FUD. The only explanation I've seen for this was a comment I read that jokingly said that Discord's developers get offended when people fix their mistakes, which given how petty some people can be... I wouldn't be surprised if this was the main reason.

   
It pisses me off to no end!! Put your project's information in a seperate, easily searchable repository!! A general website, a wiki, I don't care!! Anything but a fucking instant messaging service!! They've added some features like topics or threads in some big servers I've seen but every single time it boils down to another channel for chat messaging, bloating the whole experience even more!!!
   

This is what I mean by "use as a forum/wiki alternative" For some reason many FOSS projects are keeping all project documentation and information on a Discord guild instead of a wiki or forum. With wikis and forums I don't need an account to access information, with Discord I have to make an account because some guilds require you to to make an account to access them. I don't want to be forced into having an account on a platform I already hate just to access some documentation. It has gotten to the point where when I see a that FOSS project has a Discord guild and no other way to access documentation, all I feel is anger and then I refuse to use that project out of spite.

[Melooon]

Discord is a spyware that sends your data to China.

I think it's essential to reference evidence with a post like this - It's also worth not demonising based on nationality The government in China definitely has many proven human rights issues among many other legitimate worries; HOWEVER it's also home to more than a billion people, many of whom are wonderful people who mostly want to live their lives and do business, same as people everywhere else. Data being sent to China (or any other country) is not inherently an issue, it's a question of what data, why and to whom!

[Memory]

Discord is good for me in two ways.

1. It provides a common space for me and my IRL + online friends to gather and talk every day. I have a private/locked server where we all exist without anything like mods or such. There is no hierarchy besides me having server ownership, and it's treated more like an extensive group chat than anything else. I don't recommend joining public discord servers, as they seem to host some not nice people given their open door policy. However, small friend groups like mine is ideal for the platform I think!

2. A secret solo server for me to dump... Well, anything into. Notes, writing snippets, images, bonus emojis. It's nice to just have quick and easy access to a lot of things through discord seeing as I'm using it to chat to many friends anyway.

Outside of those two instances, I'd never use discord. I've had my fair share of experiences in public servers, and even when I've gotten settled in a few, they've always fallen apart anyway. Some niche topics provide good spaces on the platform, but I've never stuck around long enough to become embedded in another group.

[pinkvampyr]

I think it's essential to reference evidence with a post like this - It's also worth not demonising based on nationality The government in China definitely has many proven human rights issues among many other legitimate worries; HOWEVER it's also home to more than a billion people, many of whom are wonderful people who mostly want to live their lives and do business, same as people everywhere else. Data being sent to China (or any other country) is not inherently an issue, it's a question of what data, why and to whom!

yeah and honestly as a US citizen I'm a lot more worried about what the US government and companies want with my data, not China. 🥲

edit: oh and I think I said this before but yeah I'm extremely wary about discords privacy issues after doing a deep dive into internet privacy, I'm hoping to move my small friend group to matrix at some point because I do want to keep in contact with them still. I have to admit discord has done a lot of good in terms of providing a fun space for me and my friends. too bad the tradeoff is so awful.

[Memory]

Hm, good point @Melooon and @pinkvampyr. Those business practises of selling the users data to wherever is the problem that unites all those big services, Discord being just one example. The destination of the data is really unimportant for that, it's the business practise itself, that's leads to questionable methods.

And greetings to all Chinese, those of you who've managed to configure your VPN right. The others can't read this unfortnueatly anyways.

[arcus]

I joined Discord in 2016. I stopped using it earlier this year and moved to Matrix.

It was fun for the first few years I used it. All the "big" communities back then were pretty small and tight knit. Not many people used Discord back then. My friends outside of it didn't join until a year or two later; everyone was still using Steam and Skype and refused to try it. Most of the popular servers were subreddit communities, with a lot of these servers ending up as partnered servers later down the line.

I've made a bunch of good friends through it. But it has overstayed its welcome at this point.

A major issue with the platform besides what has been bought up here already, is that nothing is encrypted. If (when) Discord has a major leak, your direct messages are out in the open.

When you delete your account, your messages stay around. If you had anything you wish to delete, you can't go back and remove it.

There's no privacy. In fact, Discord was fined 800,000 euros for privacy violations late last year: https://www.cnil.fr/en/discord-inc-fined-800-000-euros

And greetings to all Chinese, those of you who've managed to configure your VPN right. The others can't read this unfortnueatly anyways.

The firewall works on a blacklist, not a whitelist.

[astraeusbleeds]

i think discord is alright, made many of my friends over there. big servers are alright to occasionally peek in, but im mostly in smaller ones. but i HATE people who vent in big discords. i understand that you are dealing with mental issues, but people in big discord servers (strangers) are not your therapist! like i get it, but my mental health cant handle dealing with someone else with mental issues, i get stressed too easily.

[Memory]

I was an MSN person, and then I was a Skype person, and now, inevitably, I'm a Discord person. I've got my issues with it, but it serves my needs. I'd be happy to jump to something better if I could. but that'd require all my friends to also do so.
I do pay up for Nitro. I do not like the monetization of many features that should be free, but I also don't pay for much else online. and I'm always on Discord. I dislike it, and yet I pay for it. guess that's contradictory to some extent!

I've had big issues with Discord crashing ever since they added super reactions. rather annoying. I won't say that's the direct cause, but it sure feels like it. who really knows tho.

servers are, uhhhhhh. something. I ended up bonding with the community in one small server, which has been a nice experience. but most servers are simply too large. also usually full of children. I just don't have the energy for the teenagers tbh. more often than not, they just really irritate me. I know, I know, we were all kids on the internet once. doesn't change that I find the kids annoying as an adult. so, I dunno, I wish I didn't have to feel so surrounded by them. I wouldn't mind being in a server for people around my age, but that's daunting and I'm not sure how I'd find one. well, actually, I was in one once. 30s gamer friends or something. it kind of suffered from its lack of casual discussion and emphasis on community gaming events. as someone that doesn't like or play many multiplayer games, there just wasn't much in it for me. I'm also not fond of large group calls, it gets overwhelming and I'm usually not given room to speak. so multiplayer gaming and being expected to probably be in a call is... not favorable.

[Mela]

I started using Discord just to talk with my friend group when we played Minecraft, and it was great. Then one of my friends made her own server and started inviting more and more people and I felt like it went against the original purpose of the server. Sometimes I joined servers to look for some people to talk with about my interests, but I never really felt welcome. No one introduced themselves and they almost always spoke using memes, which really annoyed me and didn't encourage me to speak at all. It felt like there was a big inside joke I could't understand because I wasn't part of the group. I feel like they just want the server to have as many members as possible, even if it's only the same 4-5 people who actually speak. So I ended up slowly leaving all those servers and, later on, deleting my account.

[dozzleDsnozzler]

i really only use discord to talk with IRL friends or the buddies i met on twitter years ago. thats where most of my online hours are clocked in

[Seryndelle]

i use discord a lot! but 95% of it is for dnd-related stuff. i run two campaigns, and given that my party members are strewn across the country and even the world sometimes, it's much easier to run games via discord than to try and find a time and place that suits everybody for an in-person session.

it also means i can use bots, like the one i use to put my playlists on when players enter dungeons or get in battles, for example. i'm not sure i'd use discord anywhere near as much if not for dnd, but for that purpose it's brilliant!

[starbreaker]

I only use Discord because the only way I'm going to find a Free Company in Final Fantasy XIV that doesn't use Slack For Gamers is if I found my own FC and I can't be bothered. Besides, even if I could con three other people into helping me start a FC, they'd probably insist on having a Discord chatroom (I refuse to call them "servers") regardless of my objections and it would be churlish to boot my co-founders.