Discord

[glitterpigeon]

discord was nice (though i am only active in 1 or 2 servers) and is where a lot of my closest online friends are. it is a really important source of community for me. unfortunately, my wifi absolutely sucks and so now i can only use discord on my mobile data (and then even that only works sometimes, in some parts of my houses) or using free wifi in other places like libraries (all 20+ minutes away from me) or in other people's houses, so this makes it feel like I am kind of partially locked out of that community, which is frustrating. i don't know why this is happening, as though my wifi has always been bad, it usually worked, most of the time. now trying to find ways where it works is getting harder and harder and so many things involve discord in my life that is definitely makes a large part of the internet inaccessible to me.

[CytricAcid]

I'm currently an admin on a discord server that, for a long time before, used to be a forum. The community gradually migrated to discord and then the forums were shut down, so we're just on discord now.
The thing is, we're a research community for Pokemon Glitches. The fact the majority of the research is locked behind our discord is something i've been stressed about for a long time and only recently have I gotten members to contribute to our Wiki.

Discord is convenient. Too convenient. The internet is designed to destroy our attention span and forums are actually becoming too much for the average user (I have users in our discord who admit that forums are too complex for them) and the idea of having a conversation that takes place over a few days, or weeks, is just not something that can happen on discord. In many ways, its instant gratification for social interaction, which is fine in part, but for large communities it just overpowers and destroys other forms of communication. I say this because I feel like I actually need to be detoxed from the communication patterns the internet has instilled in me, just being on a forum again I can't even read more than any one paragraph without feeling "bored" and my attention span is shot.

Okay I sound like a web boomer XD; But I lament not the fact Discord exists, but the way it's replaced all other forms of communication of the net, in part because Social Media has astroturfed the internet itself into outrage clicks and always online stuff and you know what i mean. The internet is just... in a very toxic mentality right now, because we're being trained to do things that makes big social media companies money. Like outrage clicks and the like.

[glitterpigeon]

the idea of having a conversation that takes place over a few days, or weeks, is just not something that can happen on discord.

yeah the speed of things like discord makes most servers impossible for me to survive in, I feel. I struggle with some things and I need to go more slowly than everyone else with a lot of things, and that can make things like this hard for me to exist in. this also applies to most other social media. I can't post new art every day, I can't process things fast enough to keep up in a fast-moving conversation. both in the tangible world and online, though I feel it is harder online. (but i have quite a hard time in large groups of people in any situation) this sucks cause I like talking to people a lot, it's just more stressful for me.

[konamiesque]

I've tried really, really hard to get into Discord multiple times, but it's just..... not for me. I attempted to join an active server recently and I think I only lasted maybe two or three weeks? Definitely not a full month.

I'm not really much of a people person, and coming in to a new server always feels so awkward to me..... It's like I'm trying to shove my way into a conversation that I wasn't originally part of and I can never shake the suspicion that everyone is judging me for it.

That's why I way prefer forums-- The flow of conversation is far more manageable for me, and the way they're structured makes posting in threads feel way more inviting.

[kiki & ayano]

whenever i hear people talk about discord, either in support or with criticism, i feel like i'm on another planet or something... i just use discord as an instant messenger to talk with friends, sometimes through direct messages, sometimes through small group servers with no more than 10 people... like, i know a ton of discord traffic comes from massive servers, and i know a lot of people see discord more akin to social media now, but i've been using discord since 2016 (was also using skype at the time, jumped ship as skype continued to worsen in late 2017 if i remember correctly) and i've never really had an issue using it this way. i am in a few big servers for announcements and i even moderate a pokemon community server with around 2,000 people in it, but that's definitely the exception to the rule for me, and that pokemon community in particular is very exceptional and nothing like other big servers i've been in, so i can actually enjoy my time there.

that being said, definitely hate how other people use discord, like i can't stand information being locked behind discord servers that should be on wikis or public webpages?? and most of all, i hate that i can't easily back up my chat history without external tools! i don't know if it's a legal privacy issue or something, but when i requested my discord data i was really irritated to find out that the other side of conversations i've been in weren't included. the fact that i could be banned off discord and years of my life would vanish into the void is horrifying, so i try to keep backups when i can. i miss old skype having all messages stored in a local database file... i still have my childhood main.db and i use the old software skyperious to peruse it if i need something. i have genuine memory loss problems and it's very important to me to have a record of my life, and messaging people on the internet is a huge part of that! centralized internet problems i guess. i had never heard of matrix before this thread, thinking i might check it out.

- kiki

[starbreaker]

and most of all, i hate that i can't easily back up my chat history without external tools! i don't know if it's a legal privacy issue or something, but when i requested my discord data i was really irritated to find out that the other side of conversations i've been in weren't included. the fact that i could be banned off discord and years of my life would vanish into the void is horrifying, so i try to keep backups when i can.

This is why I prefer email for discussion. All participants can maintain their own archives of emails sent and received. My wife and I have years of emails backed up from when we were courting, because we were a long-distance relationship until a few months before we got married almost 20 years ago. If we had courted over Discord between 2000 and 2004 (and Discord had actually been a thing back then) there's no telling if we'd have been able to retain those communications.

[Bede]

I've been on Discord for some time, and I have thoughts, so I'll start with the negative and end with the positive, to end on a happy note.

Client mods are banned for little to no reason. BetterDiscord has already been mentioned in this thread (I personally use Vencord myself). There are so many stupid little inconveniences that client mods fix, like undoing the 'minimum Window size', adding timers to voice calls, built-in Google Translate, and more. And Discord gives no reason for banning these incredibly useful tools. And it's not even like they're actually banning users who use them, anyway, so the rule is, in effect, not even there. I know that them not banning anyone over it also makes this a petty complaint, but it just annoys me that the rule is there at all.

Also, you've heard of, "I don't want to download your fucking app"... Now get ready for, "I don't want to join your fucking Discord server!" So much information that SHOULD be on forums is instead locked in a Discord server, which is absolutely HORRID for archival purposes. Like, I see screenshots of game devs confirming facts about their characters all the time in a Discord server, but once that server goes down or gets deleted or whatever, then how will people know all of this canon character information?? I suppose this problem also can be chalked up to there being no real archival or backup system on Discord, but that's a whole other problem worth its own discussion.

This is not really a complaint. Just a thought. But lastly; and I heard this once on a YouTube video and I never forgot it; some of the most wild drama online happened in very insular communities. Stuff like the Snape Wives and Miss Scribe's whole deal happened on LiveJournal, and both were arguably able to happen as they did due to the very insulated, interconnected and decentralized communities that it held. Which makes me wonder...

What the heck could be going on in Discord servers these days??

I also, of course, have the the usual complaints. Locking everything behind Nitro, the username change, and the company being taken over by a bunch of new people who don't understand the appeal of Discord.

But on the other hand... I talk to more people than ever before. I feel a lot more comfortable socializing online than I do in real life, and I've made and maintained so many new friends this way. I've found a lot of new communities, and I've had a lot of fun exploring different servers! I guess it's sort of ideal for someone like me.

I guess most of the issues I have is with how it's being used for EVERYTHING nowadays, though, including for things that really should be public. That, along with greedy, out-of-touch CEOs, of course. But that's just par for the course nowadays.

[Badgersaurus]

i love discord all my friends r on there :)
More seriously, it's alright. I don't know why anyone would ever buy Nitro because literally everything it adds is completely useless. I like talking to my pals and to strangers, and it is the most reliable way to find web communities that are not dominated by 30-something tech nerds with way too much free time and are mostly full of actual people.
I've never downloaded the desktop app and have no desire to.

What the heck could be going on in Discord servers these days??

The very best things. Seriously the amount of fights I have seen go down in Discord servers between mostly moderators is insane. Once for an online game I sort-of played once that was getting shut down for some NFT bullcrap the moderators just... quit moderating the server except the very egregious offences because they were upset and it was amazing. I will probably never get the opportunity to type swear words with emoji reacts on a tech CEO's messages and not get banned for it ever again. It is one of my cherished online memories.

[zanarkand]

for a while I was going through a cycle of feeling lonely -> join a discord server -> post an introduction -> never post anything else -> leave. to me it feels too much like going to a party where I don't know anyone so it's really hard for me to join in any conversations. it doesn't help that I'm super shy and find instant messaging with strangers overwhelming.

I've pretty much given up on joining new discord servers unless someone I actually know invites me to join one (which hasn't happened yet haha).

I much prefer posting in forums where I can take my time with what I want to say~

i relate to this. it's hard not to get disappointed when i join a server and start posting and don't get many if any responses but the conversations keep moving on without me :( i don't use discord very much, it's a little confusing to me in general. sometimes i feel like it's an age thing 

[starlitPrimrose]

for me, discord's only function is for me to digitally hang out with my 4 online friends who ive known since 2020. ive attempted to engage with larger servers before, but all too often i find myself intimidated by the sheer scale of how many people there are.

to me it feels too much like going to a party where I don't know anyone so it's really hard for me to join in any conversations.

^^ its exactly like this for me, i struggle a little bit with how i present myself to people i dont know so when i finally have the courage to interact, i end up not sounding like myself to me if that makes any sense.

another thing is that most people ive encountered on discord, whenever i do venture out that is, have personalities and senses of humor that i dont mesh well with, idk how to describe it, i guess kind of how people are like on youtube and tiktok?? idk, its just very different and im not all that sure how to interact with those people when my own sense of humor is so wildly different.

all in all, discord is just another form of text messaging for me, and the server i have with my friends is just a big, fancy, glorified group chat LOL. besides that i dont have any major positive or negative feelings regarding it.

[serenefork]

I only use Discord to talk to my close friends at this point, and we're all pretty much in agreement that should we find something that works better for all of us we'll move where we communicate. I'm on Discord almost all day though since that's how I talk to my partner sometimes even when we are in the same room because he can't hear me at all with his headphones on.

[PurpleHello98]

I mainly use it for IMing with my friends, but I am in a couple chatrooms. The main two are one that's a public server for my favourite k-pop group, but it's relatively small and there's a core group of us that stay on it and use it. Thankfully, although it has 100+ members, it doesn't feel too big since there's me and a few others who actively use it. There's also another public chatroom where the owner vets everyone before letting them in, and it also feels like a nice, closed-off community. There are a few others that I'm members of, but they're mainly either dead or so big I never use them and am only in them because I said some good things there ages ago. There's also one more, a Web revival space which has grown a little much for my liking, but which I still interact with sometimes since there at least seems to be a core of users and it's a nice community besides being a bit big, since, like Shevek said, it feels like it's too much to catch up on sometimes, so I just mark some as read and get over it.

Okay I sound like a web boomer XD; But I lament not the fact Discord exists, but the way it's replaced all other forms of communication of the net, in part because Social Media has astroturfed the internet itself into outrage clicks and always online stuff and you know what i mean. The internet is just... in a very toxic mentality right now, because we're being trained to do things that makes big social media companies money. Like outrage clicks and the like.

This is the real terrible thing about social media, that I honestly still feel sometimes, like how I used to search stuff on Twitter that I knew would make me mad (often political) because...?

for a while I was going through a cycle of feeling lonely -> join a discord server -> post an introduction -> never post anything else -> leave. to me it feels too much like going to a party where I don't know anyone so it's really hard for me to join in any conversations. it doesn't help that I'm super shy and find instant messaging with strangers overwhelming.

I've pretty much given up on joining new discord servers unless someone I actually know invites me to join one (which hasn't happened yet haha).

I much prefer posting in forums where I can take my time with what I want to say~

I struggle with that feeling of not knowing people on forums too, from time to time, but it is much more toned-down, especially because there's not a net message EVERY TENTH OF A SECOND! But big Discord chatrooms are really not the place to find community---I learned that the hard way.

that being said, definitely hate how other people use discord, like i can't stand information being locked behind discord servers that should be on wikis or public webpages?? and most of all, i hate that i can't easily back up my chat history without external tools! i don't know if it's a legal privacy issue or something, but when i requested my discord data i was really irritated to find out that the other side of conversations i've been in weren't included. the fact that i could be banned off discord and years of my life would vanish into the void is horrifying, so i try to keep backups when i can. i miss old skype having all messages stored in a local database file... i still have my childhood main.db and i use the old software skyperious to peruse it if i need something. i have genuine memory loss problems and it's very important to me to have a record of my life, and messaging people on the internet is a huge part of that! centralized internet problems i guess. i had never heard of matrix before this thread, thinking i might check it out.

This is my main criticism of Discord, along with the UI layout that you can't really change. (I'd really like to skin it and rearrange it to make it look like MSN, but of course I have to use their fugly flat design.) I used to use G-Chat a couple of years ago with my BFF, but then we met a new friend and somehow we all got to using Discord, and there's no way to access our old chatlogs at all, unless I want to scroll back through a year and a half's worth of IMs. I do like the pinned messages feature and the GIFs feature (ya girl is a GIF fiend), but that's still not enough to make up for it.

[Memory]

I rarely use Discord, and if I do it's only to keep in touch with the few friends I have.

I'm in no servers. I don't want to be in any servers. I have been in servers in the past but I almost never posted in them. As many others in this thread have said, once a server reaches a certain number of users and sees a high level of activity it becomes pointless to try and participate - it's impossible to keep up with all the conversations and no-one is going to be having any worthwhile discussions in a chaotic server with 10+ people flooding the chatroom with really low-effort posts. I feel like most servers spell a recipe for disaster and usually end up devolving into a cesspit of drama. Sometimes there is a serious lack of moderation in these servers, and this allows toxic behaviour to fester. This seems to be the case with any popular server I've been in.

I only see myself being in a Discord server if it's very small, well moderated, and close-knit. In general I much prefer talking to people one-on-one. I don't think there is really any need for me to be in a server at all.

I only have five contacts. They are my penpals, all who I have known for a few years now. That's all I use Discord for. I wish I could use a different communication medium but there aren't many other options and I don't think my friends would want to migrate to something else.

[DiffydaDude]

for a while I was going through a cycle of feeling lonely -> join a discord server -> post an introduction -> never post anything else -> leave. to me it feels too much like going to a party where I don't know anyone so it's really hard for me to join in any conversations. it doesn't help that I'm super shy and find instant messaging with strangers overwhelming.

For me, it's been kind of a struggle. I've been using discord for, im embarrassed to say this, nearly everyday for a year and a half. It's probably very unhealthy since i've been emotionally affected by using it so much. I used to be able to get into hectic and hilarious calls playing Roblox and Fortnite with my friends but now I struggle to connect with anybody. It's a big factor in why I've decided to make my internet experience more secure and centered around forums like these ones, and not repetitively repetitive apps like Youtube and Discord which I find myself getting bored of often.

[Nickolox]

discord is nice to use I think, but all I really use it for is
1. as a personal notebook (with private servers to dump things in between my laptop/desktop/phone)
and 2. to privately dm my friends, because I find it a lot easier to talk with my friends in private compared to a server or group chat.

There are a few servers I'm in mostly related to my own interests, but the ones I talk in are very small. I used to be in way more when I used to have Nitro for the purposes of emotes, but I haven't had nitro in a really long time sooo I left a bunch of places.
Feels really refreshing tbh because I'm super picky about notifs, and always like having them read so I'd spend like, a full on hour obsessively and repeatedly checking discord over and over because some servers i was in were active 24/7 (that might just be an ocd thing though lol, it sounds like it/)

I think it's rlly annoying that a lot of information is stored in discord servers nowadays, it always feels super awkward to join somewhere just to find some information and then leave once i'm done, idk, something about it just feels awkward as hell to me.
there are a few places i'm in for that alone, i find it rlly aggravating ugh

any annoyances i've had with using discord itself are mostly fixed by using a modded client lol, i've heard a lot of ppl are afraid of using them because it's "against tos" and they'll get banned supposedly but like, I've been using modded clients for years and that's NEVER happened? so like, go nuts and do it!!! there's mods for the browser, desktop AND mobile versions of discord, it's so nice tbh!