How do you cope with loneliness?

[rinni]

Hobbies, for the most part. Sensory overload as well. Not exactly that, but just... Overwhelming myself in the present with constant things to focus on/think about. I watch videos. Listen to music. Scroll on social media. Draw. Write. Although, one of these usually leaves me feeling even hollower.

I broke up with my first s/o today, and i'm kind of floundering around trying to find something to do so i dont think about it haha.

It also helps to obsess over stuff on the internet. Fall down rabbit holes. Learn about inconsequential stuff. Drama? Get angry at people? Sometimes i try to think to myself that other people aren't worth it. even though that isn't true. Usually i end up thinking that it's me who isnt worth it.

I find it very very hard to integrate into circles/servers/forums, especially since i desperately dont want to come off as weird or offend anyone or interrupt, etc. yknow? i know i dont /need/ to be wanted there in order to have a right to share my thoughts and opinions, but it's still hard.
 


i just want to say, though. It gets better. The human brain has a tendency to multiply negative feelings without any basis in reality. It's never as bad as your brain makes it seem. There's always a way out. Never stop reaching out. You are wanted and important. All of you

[caracalled]

I was really lonely for a while and now I'm not anymore. I think in part it's just that being lonely sucks! We're literally hard-wired to crave human connection, whether we want to or not!
I also felt like people could smell my loneliness and that I had to do my best to hide it.
I think what helped was accept that I was lonely and not try to go up against it if that makes sense? I spent a bunch of time learning how to do usually social things like going out to eat or going to the movies or the beach while being alone and enjoying them! I feel like I kind of reclaimed the label if that makes sense? And with that also came a relaxed-ness about new connections I was making that in turn helped me make friends later.
And I think, lastly what helped me accept it was that it really is just a phase in your life and not your whole life. You're not branded and you're not going to be lonely forever! I like to imagine these as just.. growing pains? This isn't supposed to minimize the feeling, it really sucks in the moment but as long as it'll be over someday it's fine for me I think, and being able to look back on it and having had that experience will make things easier for me in the future.

So yeah, in one sentence: Go out and do fun stuff alone! Go to the beach, the movies, the museum, the park, whatever! Take yourself out to dinner (in my experience ramen places are a good start bc people often come in alone do have lunch/dinner).
You're a fun person to be around for yourself too!

[soju]

listen to wikipedia!
it's nice to think of how many other people are all awake and online at the same time as me, thinking and writing and editing and sharing information... there are so many people who know so much about things i've never even heard of before, and we're all here on earth together at this very moment! i find it really wonderful and relaxing and it always cheers me up a bit if i'm feeling down or lonely. whatever's going on with me, there's always somebody out there editing wikipedia... i get the same feeling when i'm up late and i see a light on in someone else's room, even if it's streets away; it's just nice to know someone else is here, too, right now, even if we have nothing to do with each other.

I just checked this out! Such a cool way to demonstrate the scale of the internet. Like you said, it's really comforting to know that you're not completely alone, even if you don't know who is out there. The ambiance and sense of connection is also really relaxing, I could definitely see myself using hatnote as white noise to fall asleep to.


As for what I do when I'm feeling lonely; I try to force myself to go outside and try new things I wouldn't usually do. Even if it's a fairly reserved activity like going out and getting lunch, I find that it just helps me to get out of the house. Going on walks, to the gym, to concerts, museums, or just driving around listening to music pushes away those thoughts of loneliness I have when it gets to be too much.

[cami02]

I guess being alone is pretty easy for me as a very introverted person so I don't really need to cope. If I ever do feel lonely, I just give my sister a call or text a friend. If it's nighttime and everyone is asleep, I cuddle my cats  For those who are more extroverted, I imagine it's more difficult... My advice there would be to just reach out to someone, anyone - someone you care about or even a stranger online. What's the worst that can happen? They might not reply or be unavailable at the time, but most likely someone is. It's also important to learn to enjoy your own company. Which, trust me, I know is very difficult - I struggled with that for years. But once you finally do, it's worth it. Being comfortable in your own company makes you more independent and makes loneliness easier to cope with.

[nana7828]

Reading or listening to music i like being alone a little with myself i talk with myself too for me this was a little common at school every break i was alone reading manga,i like to be a little alone :)

[e-]

I'd like to add context to this discussion, if I may.
for various reasons I stopped having friends when I was maybe 11 or so and never regained the ability to make them. I've shut myself off in my little room of introversion for my whole life and am generally fine. So when ppl are responding with 'I'm an introvert so loneliness doesn't bother me.' I very much understand. BUT. The problem with that is waking up realizing you're missing out on life because you've locked yourself away in your own prison of comfort and sameness. Being alone is quite manageable when everything is safe and sound. But when you get well outside your comfort zone suddenly you need people to help you through; and if you've spent your whole life comfortably recluse it feels a bit like being dropped in the ocean when you never learned how to swim. I started this thread when I was living in a hostel on the opposite side of the planet. That's why I was feeling unbearably lonely. Getting out of your comfort zone is necessary for progress though. So maybe coping with loneliness isn't necessarily a good thing. I feel like it's a uniquely modern thing to not need people. You can use technology to supersede the biological necessity of contact with other humans. It's really not so hard to be comfortably alone. I find that horribly tragic though. It's harder than ever to connect with anyone around you because they've all got their interpersonal needs satiated by media and the internet.
In short, yes, I can cope with loneliness. I just don't really want to anymore. :/