I kinda dont enjoy the web revival as much anymore. Lemme explain why

[ctrl-shift-esc]

My personal belief when it comes to "web revival", is that the most important thing people can do is to just actually be ...online. Ya know? By online I mean, outside the SoMe.

Hang out on forums, use stuff like MSN escargot...show their friends cool websites, forums, chat software, etc.

I suck at making websites, I dont know squat about HTML. I rarely have time to draw, so making 'zines about something is just... not something I have the energy for. I'm not interested in all the things a lot of web revvie lovers are. But I still dig forums, and making stupid little avatars and siggies and using smileys      and all that good stuff.

Imo the web revival shouldn't be so intense that it feels like it's being gatekept or that only the most intense anticapitalist people can enjoy it, or that you cant be a part of it because you dont own a website, etc. For me, the important part is to slow things down from the Zuck/Google/Elon doomscroll/ragebait stuff and hang out in spaces where you feel like you can enjoy yourself, and just get creative (if you wish) outside a ready made datahoarding platform.

Well put, this is close to my personal take on it as well.

I'm here to talk about things that are of interest to me. I like computers, so I talk about computers. My website is about computers. That's pretty much it 

The main things are for me: bringing back creativity and freedom to the web, and being social online without social media. I have a heavy dislike for algorithmical content being pushed in my face and being told to go into a Skinner's Box and just learn to like it, cause that's just how things are now. I reject that! Doesn't have to be that way! Forums are nice because everything is ordered logically, the pace is slow and so there is no fear of missing out. I can come and go as I please. It's like virtually going into a local cafe every once in a while, and you see customers there, might even have some regulars you get to know, but nobody expects or pressures you to be there all the time (forums) vs attending a once-in-a-lifetime must-see rock concert (social media desperately wants us to see itself like that, even though it isn't)

I create a website that is text only because I want to and I can. My website looks visually boring on purpose and I know only the bare basics of HTML, learning along on an as-needed basis, but hey, it's my site. It doesn't need to exist at all, let alone be anything worthwhile. If people find it interesting, cool! If not, I don't really care. It exists more like a personal diary to me more than anything  I encourage people to make sites first and foremost for yourself! Creativity is an endeavour that is worth while in and of itself. That's how I feel about it.

I've seen the phrase "the internet used to be an escape from real life but now real life is an escape from the internet" thrown around, and my participation in this web revival thingy is countering against it. When I'm on a PC and have an urge to go doomscroll social media, I can tinker with simple html files and read posts on forums instead. That alone makes it worth it to me, to become free from the clutches of the modern web. It doesn't have to be anything deeper than that, and to me, it isn't.

[tarraxahum]

I both understand where you're coming from and agree with what others have said. When I first stumbled across this community, I was shy to even join for the first couple of months, because I felt like my approach and my website weren't 'serious' enough. Like, I was agreeing and resonating with folks, but hardly had the energy - or ideas to be honest - to like, fight a big fight about it. So I get the feeling.

However, I also agree with others that, for one, this isn't all that web revival is and making a site you like for the sake of creating a space that yours is perfectly enough, and for two, it does sound like you got stuck on a particular side of it all. If all sites link to each other and it's all the same then it's likely just the same circle.

For example the 'side' that I found myself on is mostly a weird (often queer) artsy side where people post their art and favorite things (and push the limits of just how bright and quirky a website can get). And within THAT circle - yes, most people link to the same sites too, 'cause they're like, the most known and well-done on the block. But I haven't seen much politics around - while of course there are some (people are different!) and lots of people have manifestos etc. etc., the main things that go are art and being weird, I'd say. Heck, even this forum is sort of an art project.

So like, yes, if you come to the web revival from a certain angle it can indeed seem like you're expected to be a certain way and do certain things, but also - people who do all those things do so 'cause they want to and have motivation/energy/ideas to do them.

From that point on it's your personal responsibility to find your boundaries and find whatever it is that you want doing and what attracted you personally to this whole thing. Just like it was mine. I'm guessing from your opening post here that you've kinda done exactly that, which is awesome, congrats on finally vibing with your site the way you want to! But like, realistically, it's not the fault of other people (doing what they wanted) if we tried to push ourselves to do stuff we didn't wanna do and got burned out and bitter about it. There's no sign at the door that says "Do not enter if you're not doing X,Z and Y!" People with strong political convictions and high activity are just the most noticeable ones, naturally so.

Also I second the advice of looking at the recently updated page on neocities from time to time, that's how I found like half the people I follow! It's a good way to break out of the button loop, if you feel like you see nothing new.

[starbreaker]

Sorry if this is a bit weird of a thing for me to post. I just really needed to get this off my chest. Im still gonna be in the "web revival" but i wanna do my own thing. And im not saying "ohh web revival was better before 2024" cuz im not here to be obsessively nostalgic, another problem i kinda have with the web revival. I just want to highlight some of my issues after 1 year in the web revival.

Last time I checked, web revival is about doing your own thing, on your own website.

If you want to do anticapitalism, do it.

If you want to be anti-corporate, be anti-corporate.

But if you just want to make shrines to your favorite fandoms, you can do that too.

Don't let other people tell you how to participate in web revival, because if you can't dance it ain't your revolution.

[cmdr_nova]

I hope this doesn't sound way off-base, or offensive, but to me it sounds like you're pretty young and searching for your identity as a person. And it just so happens that you found a piece of that in the revival of the nineties internet. Which, to me, is amazing. I never would have expected that people, not even born in the era, would be interested in bringing it back.

My only advice would be to just kind of take a step back, don't take things too seriously, including yourself.

Reminds me of when I was in high school in the year 2000. Joined up on an anime forum and let it completely suck me in. I said and did a lot of embarrassing things, argued about stuff that didn't matter at all, and had fights with people over aol instant messenger lol

But I was also like 16 at the time and didn't really know who I was

[DiffydaDude]

I think i've come up with a better idea of why i hate a lot of internet culture these days
I feel like the whole web revival, indie web, anti corporate web sphere whatever is way too angry, superstitious, and straight up ridiculous. Like it all revolves around the "good ol days" like theyre The garden of eden or something, and people treat them as if they were in heaven, when in reality a lot of the stuff that happens with the internet that people bitch about these days as being all 1984 and dystopian has already happened in those "good ol days" that people always praise. And really, I get so sick of people calling it 1984 and all that. Anything can be 1984 if you know how to warp perspectives good. The internet is 1984 because it gives everyone the power to live their fantasies while punishing people who dont agree with them. Brushing your teeth is 1984 because its a habit marker that is used to form a slew of corporate societal standards. Even 1984 is 1984 because this book gives so much leeway on how to decide whats good and whats bad. And people will believe these viewpoints because people these days only focus on the most tragic events worldwide and if its not something about that, then they're gonna be apathetic about it and not give a crap. Thats actually my theory about something my friend seabhac told me which is that he feels like nobody knows how to really talk good anymore; like they give half-assed responses to him whenever he tries to do small talk. And i see loads of times now where everybody mocks the "everything will be just fine, it cant be that bad, right?" thing. Like they use it to say "NO EVERYTHINGS IS TERRIBLE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE IN BLOODY PILES AND BE SOLD AS CORPORATE SLAVES", alongside some wojak face with a stupid two-word compound name.
So whats the point of this post? well i dont wanna constantly worry about stuff anymore, and i wanna live and have fun and do stuff with friends, and the more i see shit like kursgesagst videos about superintelligent ai and ars technica articles about how everyone will die and comments from people going like "witty remark with nihilistic undertones and lots of spite", it irks me a lot because i feel like its making everybody all over the place constantly anxious which i dont like, and its also hard to talk about this because i feel like i might be the only one who sees this way. And no im not saying we should just ignore problems. And i dont wanna be fake optimistic either. I dont know if im just talking to a brick wall. I just hate how everybody on the internet is like this these days. And im so sick of it

[xixxii]

hmmm... folks have already suggested you make some changes to where you're browsing, but i would like to reiterate that, as it sounds like you're feeling even worse!
it sounds like whatever your current social media/bookmarks/browsing situations is is really not working for you! it is possible to better curate what stuff you're exposed to online, and it seems like you might need some help with that. would more links be helpful? suggestions for people to follow on various platforms? keywords to add to your block & mute lists? browser extensions for blocking stuff?  i'm happy to recommend some lists of people i follow on youtube, twitter, and tumblr, or newsish websites to look at that aren't about tech or doomposting, if that would be helpful. i don't know if we have a ton of interest overlap, but maybe it's better than trying to start from scratch? 

you mention a lot of times that "everyone" or "people" behave in a particular way -

I feel like the whole web revival, indie web, anti corporate web sphere whatever is way too angry, superstitious, and straight up ridiculous. Like it all revolves around the "good ol days" like theyre The garden of eden or something, and people treat them as if they were in heaven,
[...]
people will believe these viewpoints because people these days only focus on the most tragic events worldwide and if its not something about that, then they're gonna be apathetic about it and not give a crap.
[...]
nobody knows how to really talk good anymore
[...]
everybody mocks the "everything will be just fine, it cant be that bad, right?" thing. Like they use it to say "NO EVERYTHINGS IS TERRIBLE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE IN BLOODY PILES AND BE SOLD AS CORPORATE SLAVES", alongside some wojak face with a stupid two-word compound name.
[...]
its making everybody all over the place constantly anxious which i dont like

which i'm sure you know is hyperbole, but i think it's important to be reminded anyway! even if it feels like that's what everyone and everything is like, it is not! maybe everything that you are seeing is like that; if so, that sucks! and, again, i'm happy to help you find more places to spend your time that are not like that. the internet is a big place! there is lots of it that you have not seen, and there are ways you can restructure your relationship with it so that it is less miserable and overwhelming. 

you are not the only person who is frustrated with the internet or with the way people talk about the internet! like e- said... the reason you see so much negativity is because there are so many people who feel the way you do, who feel trapped in and overwhelmed by big maelstroms of negativity and things they disagree with. it's a shitty way to feel, and it's difficult to break out of that kind of environment - especially on sites where you're mostly going to be recommended stuff similar to what you're already looking at, rather than things that are offering different perspectives. as i'm sure you can relate to, being constantly stressed and upset and seeing stuff that you hate naturally makes you want to complain and vent... and then somebody else sees that vent post as part of the general mire of negativity, and they make a vent post, and then someone ELSE sees those two vent posts and gets stressed out and makes a vent post............. and then "everybody" is freaking out! 

in terms of general tips i find it enriching and helpful to follow people from lots of different subcultures; that way it's much easier to avoid getting too sucked into whatever Big Controversy is happening in one little zone of the internet, because i am always being reminded that that one little zone is just one little zone. if Everybody on book twitter is mad about a book, there's still people who research very small shrimps carrying on studying very small shrimps and i am reminded that it is not everybody in the world mad about the book it is just everybody over there, if that makes sense. also, it's fun to learn about things like books and very small shrimps.

of course, no amount of curating can spare you from clickbait or bad takes or upsetting things entirely, and if you're finding yourself especially sensitive to it lately it can be helpful to take a break so you have some time to heal and destress! having a constant low-level anxiety whirring away makes it impossible to really rest and let yourself relax, which makes it harder to cope with big spikes of stress and upset. sort of like picking at a scab but the scab is your feelings?? if stuff keeps poking at it over and over and over again, even if it's just a liiiiittle poke, you can't heal and it's gonna keep hurting.

it sucks to feel bad, and it extra sucks to feel like you are the only sane/correct/normal person and you're surrounded by everybody being totally unreasonable. i know how that feels, i know it is awful, and i promise that lots of people feel that way! you are not alone, you will not feel this way forever, and the world is bigger than it seems.
there are lots of things that are horrible and upsetting and difficult in the world, more than any one person can reasonably cope with knowing about; but the world is not entirely made up of horrible things and miserable people, and you can live and have fun with your friends in it. it might be hard and take some trial and error, but it is not impossible! and i'm sure lots of folks here on melonland have all kinds of ideas and suggestions for ways you can build a nice environment for yourself and your friends to have fun in online.

~

maaaaaybe you know all of this already and this is annoying, because the point of your post was just to get something out of your system... in which case, it might also help you to have a blog or a journal so you have a place to work out feelings and vent where you won't get input from nosy oldtimers like me giving you nosy oldtimer advice !  (personally i like a physical journal because it's easier for angry emphatic scribbling!)

[bingus_baby]

I felt the same way some years back. I was overwhelmed and wanted to escape! I deleted all my main social media profiles and disappeared. It wasn't a great move, but it helped somewhat. But maybe don't delete your Discord as well, if you use it to chat with friends lmao, that was a bad move on my part. (To leave online social spaces isn't quite the same as leaving emails and chat clients, as those are deeply tied to real life.)

You need to kill those profiles that you are using and start new. X, Insta, Facebook, etc. All major social media, kill them. Leave 'em high and dry, don't deactivate- DELETE THEM.

Your Neocities, stop treating it like social media. Post your site updates and that's it. Turning it social is fine for many people, but in your case you need a serious detox. Any site is a rabbit hole if you go deep enough, including the Neocities browsing features.

I've acclimated back into online spaces since my sabbatical, but at its start I used YouTube, a few forums, and that was it!! It was great, since my YT algorithm is music, video essays, and niche online drama between silly YouTubers. But if I were prescribing you a game plan, even this much can be a slippery slope.

Once you've detoxed from the internet a bit, evaluating your real life habits and such is also worth looking into. You seem upset, and it could stem from staying inside too much, not eating well, etc. This is much harder to fix than deactivating a Twitter account, but everything is connected and as an audiophile once said, "Your setup is only as good as your weakest link." If your aux cable (eating habits) is shit, your expensive headphones (mental health) won't sound very good!

Apologies if this post is a bit blunt or stern or overstepping or simply unsolicited advice. But I know exactly what you're feeling, and so I thought I'd weigh in. The only way out is to leave these spaces you hate so much. You can't change the internet... But you can change yourself and your habits!

Crack open a cold one, crack open a book, and crack open a window. Most importantly, crack your computer screen. You need to quit the internet. It's not easy, but it's worth it! You can do it if you try.

[DiffydaDude]

Wow, im actually really glad yall are taking this that well. I wouldve expected to get blasted. Thanks for well putting up with my crap i guess. I just dont know at what angle I should stop using the internet so much from. I dont have a lot else IRL, like I dont have too many friends i can connect with and do the things i wish i could do IRL. I just have a really hard time doing it face to face because it feels like people treat me like a weirdo. Thats why i feel kinda stuck here. Its like, the only place I really have to go. If you've got any suggestions, i'd like to see them

hmmm... folks have already suggested you make some changes to where you're browsing, but i would like to reiterate that, as it sounds like you're feeling even worse!
it sounds like whatever your current social media/bookmarks/browsing situations is is really not working for you! it is possible to better curate what stuff you're exposed to online, and it seems like you might need some help with that. would more links be helpful? suggestions for people to follow on various platforms? keywords to add to your block & mute lists? browser extensions for blocking stuff?  i'm happy to recommend some lists of people i follow on youtube, twitter, and tumblr, or newsish websites to look at that aren't about tech or doomposting, if that would be helpful. i don't know if we have a ton of interest overlap, but maybe it's better than trying to start from scratch? 

you mention a lot of times that "everyone" or "people" behave in a particular way -

which i'm sure you know is hyperbole, but i think it's important to be reminded anyway! even if it feels like that's what everyone and everything is like, it is not! maybe everything that you are seeing is like that; if so, that sucks! and, again, i'm happy to help you find more places to spend your time that are not like that. the internet is a big place! there is lots of it that you have not seen, and there are ways you can restructure your relationship with it so that it is less miserable and overwhelming. 

you are not the only person who is frustrated with the internet or with the way people talk about the internet! like e- said... the reason you see so much negativity is because there are so many people who feel the way you do, who feel trapped in and overwhelmed by big maelstroms of negativity and things they disagree with. it's a shitty way to feel, and it's difficult to break out of that kind of environment - especially on sites where you're mostly going to be recommended stuff similar to what you're already looking at, rather than things that are offering different perspectives. as i'm sure you can relate to, being constantly stressed and upset and seeing stuff that you hate naturally makes you want to complain and vent... and then somebody else sees that vent post as part of the general mire of negativity, and they make a vent post, and then someone ELSE sees those two vent posts and gets stressed out and makes a vent post............. and then "everybody" is freaking out! 

in terms of general tips i find it enriching and helpful to follow people from lots of different subcultures; that way it's much easier to avoid getting too sucked into whatever Big Controversy is happening in one little zone of the internet, because i am always being reminded that that one little zone is just one little zone. if Everybody on book twitter is mad about a book, there's still people who research very small shrimps carrying on studying very small shrimps and i am reminded that it is not everybody in the world mad about the book it is just everybody over there, if that makes sense. also, it's fun to learn about things like books and very small shrimps.

of course, no amount of curating can spare you from clickbait or bad takes or upsetting things entirely, and if you're finding yourself especially sensitive to it lately it can be helpful to take a break so you have some time to heal and destress! having a constant low-level anxiety whirring away makes it impossible to really rest and let yourself relax, which makes it harder to cope with big spikes of stress and upset. sort of like picking at a scab but the scab is your feelings?? if stuff keeps poking at it over and over and over again, even if it's just a liiiiittle poke, you can't heal and it's gonna keep hurting.

it sucks to feel bad, and it extra sucks to feel like you are the only sane/correct/normal person and you're surrounded by everybody being totally unreasonable. i know how that feels, i know it is awful, and i promise that lots of people feel that way! you are not alone, you will not feel this way forever, and the world is bigger than it seems.
there are lots of things that are horrible and upsetting and difficult in the world, more than any one person can reasonably cope with knowing about; but the world is not entirely made up of horrible things and miserable people, and you can live and have fun with your friends in it. it might be hard and take some trial and error, but it is not impossible! and i'm sure lots of folks here on melonland have all kinds of ideas and suggestions for ways you can build a nice environment for yourself and your friends to have fun in online.

~

maaaaaybe you know all of this already and this is annoying, because the point of your post was just to get something out of your system... in which case, it might also help you to have a blog or a journal so you have a place to work out feelings and vent where you won't get input from nosy oldtimers like me giving you nosy oldtimer advice !  (personally i like a physical journal because it's easier for angry emphatic scribbling!)

Yeah, i would like more help too. Im just worried that if I do things like that, people will call me a sheep and say im spoonfeeding myself media that only I agree with, and that im invalid for doing that. And im confused about what i should believe because everyone has their own take and says they're the only ones who're right, and if you dont wanna lose friendships around online you have to be agreeable as possible.

[larvapuppy]

Wow, im actually really glad yall are taking this that well. I wouldve expected to get blasted. Thanks for well putting up with my crap i guess.

Im just worried that if I do things like that, people will call me a sheep and say im spoonfeeding myself media that only I agree with, and that im invalid for doing that.

if you dont wanna lose friendships around online you have to be agreeable as possible.

From these comments, it sounds like you've had some experiences that are causing you to assume the worst of people! I'm someone who has had a lot of trouble with interpersonal relationships, and I understand that it's really easy to be afraid that others will react to what you do in an overly critical way. And to tell you the truth, there are some really immature people out there who will react this way. But most people are not like that! The ones who are overly judgemental in that way don't have your best interests at heart, and do you really want to put so much importance on what those kinds of people might think?

The people who matter- who you will form strong and enriching friendships with, or who at least have a basic level of empathy for their fellow human being- understand that everyone needs to feel a sense of comfort and belonging in order to function for the foreseeable future. It may seem noble to subject yourself to uncomfortable things- after all, the old people say it builds character, right? But in reality, the only reason we do things that are hard or unpleasant is because there is something that we are working to achieve that requires it. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be great! But only in cases where it actually helps you to grow.

So, is logging in and subjecting yourself to words and images that make you miserable enriching to you in any way? Is it inspiring you to take action? Is it productive? If not, then you're just "spoon-feeding" yourself misery in the end, which in my opinion is more harmful than only interacting with pleasant content. One suggestion: If you feel that your time online is shallow if you only engage with positive topics, you can consider visiting more neutral facts-based educational websites on topics that interest you.

[DiffydaDude]

@xixxii @larvapuppy @bingus_baby
Yeah i would really like some help with doing this. I really would. It feels like im doing this all by myself and it sucks a lot. I just wish i could feel excited and elated and happy about doing stuff again because most of what ive been doing hasnt been that. sometimes ill go on a website and go to their blog just so i can look at stuff that i dont like and makes me feel bad. sometimes i do it with youtube videos too, and its become like, the only thing ill go on a website to do. i dont even know why i do it at this point, sometimes ill do it on a youtube video like on someordinarygamers and just look at the comments talking about how much they hate being alive, just because.
i wish i could find something cool and awesome on the web revival but for some reason i just, have a hard time finding a lot of anything. everything else just feels like its a bunch of angry radical people
also thinking about this while writing hurts because im so confused. i dunno if im just denying that everything sucks like some stupid sheep and if this is actually a valid thing to dislike, cuz i feel like if i dont do what other people say is true, then it feels like im just gonna get called out for not doing it even if i dont care abt it. so sometimes ill be researching and putting myself to do things i dont even give a crap about. i dont even know if i dont give a crap or not.

[larvapuppy]

sometimes ill go on a website and go to their blog just so i can look at stuff that i dont like and makes me feel bad.

If it's an automatic thing, maybe you can try to check in with yourself every now and then. "Am I doing this because I enjoy it, or am I just doing it out of habit?" That way you can start to take steps to change how you browse to a more mindful strategy. You can quickly close the app or tab that you're using, and either step away from your computer or start a more positive browsing pattern.

i wish i could find something cool and awesome on the web revival but for some reason i just, have a hard time finding a lot of anything. everything else just feels like its a bunch of angry radical people

Ideas for having fun online or offline:

• If you have a few sites that you do enjoy, try looking through their links pages for more sites to explore, games, activities, etc.
• Try emailing your favourite webmasters, you can send them a compliment or ask for recommendations for sites to visit. Maybe you'll make a new friend to chat with.
• The Internet Archive has tons of free books, movies, games, and more for you to peruse. Maybe you can look up some vintage material related to your interests, read an old book you've lost, or find an old flash game you liked to play.
• Working on your own site to publish more of the type of material you'd like to see in the world is a great option as well. Learn Javascript, try making your site more mobile-friendly, post all your art that you still have from the beginning of time... well those are all my site goals, but maybe they'll give you some ideas.
• Keep a short daily log of what you're up to, how you're feeling, your dreams and goals. Whether you publish it or not is up to you, but writing these things down will help you figure out where you are in life and what you want out of life.
  
• Try a new type of art! 3D modeling, pixel art, music, papercraft, sewing... these are all really fun. You can share what you've made and your progress in the medium on a page on your site, too.
• Try and find websites made by people from your local area. It might be a challenging hunt, but I bet it'd be super cool to see some photos of local landmarks or learn some local history. Finding really old sites from your local area would be extra cool. You don't need to contact them or anything, you can just browse.
• Digital spring cleaning! Organize all the files and folder on your hard drive, your bookmarks... clean out your e-mail inbox and your browsing history... It feels good!

One other thing... don't be afraid to reach out to people if you're having a hard time. I'm glad you made this thread and are trying to get to the bottom of your feelings on the web revival. If you have any internet friends I'm sure they'd be happy to let you bounce your ideas off of them. I'll also say that my inbox is open if you (or anyone else reading this) ever need help, but I won't guarantee that I know the answers, or that I'll respond in the speediest time frame since my life is pretty busy...    

also thinking about this while writing hurts because im so confused. i dunno if im just denying that everything sucks like some stupid sheep and if this is actually a valid thing to dislike, cuz i feel like if i dont do what other people say is true, then it feels like im just gonna get called out for not doing it even if i dont care abt it. so sometimes ill be researching and putting myself to do things i dont even give a crap about. i dont even know if i dont give a crap or not.

It's futile to live your life based on what unreasonable people might say or think! They will never be pleased, and why would you want to please them anyway? The majority of people are understanding and don't expect others to put themselves through unnecessary stress or strain. Why should you waste your time doing something you don't care about? Better to leave those things to the ones that are interested, they'll do a better job anyway & won't get depressed while doing it.

You don't deserve to always feel bad online, and no one should be making you feel like you do. You deserve to enjoy yourself. Do what you love to do! 

[xixxii]

okaaaay let's see!

first i think you should get some browser extensions to put more barriers between you and the impulse to read stuff that'll make you unhappy. i recommend Unhook for youtube - you can hide recommended videos, youtube comments, youtube shorts, and trending, and  a website blocker - i use this one, they're pretty much interchangeable. both are easy to circumvent, of course, but the point is adding some extra steps, so you're giving yourself more time to stop and say "do i REALLY want to look at that?" instead of going straight to looking at the comments!

i would recommend also to try not to think about hypothetical people and the imaginary hypothetical reactions they might have to something you haven't done; easier said than done, i know! you could try writing yourself a note and taping it to your computer. "ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT THINGS THAT HAVE NOT HAPPENED? STOP THAT!"
when i say i'm worried about something, my therapist always asks me, "has that happened to you before?" - sometimes it has and sometimes it hasn't, and it's a helpful question to have asked (for me) either way.

right now i think you need to focus on figuring out how to help yourself feel comfortable, happy, and fulfilled: everything else can take a backseat. if you feel guilty or worried about not caring or not knowing enough, then you can write it down and schedule "learn about ____" for another time! say, next summer. then you can let yourself stop hanging on to that worry and guilt and remind yourself: "i will deal with this at a later date. right now i am prioritizing other things."



website recommendations:
atlas obscura https://www.atlasobscura.com/ - posts about neat locations!
public domain review https://publicdomainreview.org/ - posts about stuff in the public domain, with a bit of information/context/commentary!
the stopgap https://www.thestopgap.net/ - general interest writing!
indie tsushin https://indietsushin.net/ - posts about indie video games from japan!
cerealously cerealously.net - a cereal news blog that posts cereal news and reviews!
the comics curmudgeon https://joshreads.com/ - reads daily newspaper comic strips and comments on them!
pizza pranks - home of indiepocalypse https://pizzapranks.com/ - indiepocalypse is an indie video game collection!
legends of localization https://legendsoflocalization.com/ - posts about translation, generally anime + video games being translated from japanese into english!
longreads - http://longreads.com/ - roundups of longform writing that's good and interesting!
freesewing - https://freesewing.org/ - free sewing patterns!

these are all generally active, interesting websites with a lot of things to look at. maybe none of them are interesting to you; that's okay! try to take that as useful information, and work on a list. "things that are not interesting to me." if you especially dislike it, write down a little reason why that was - too boring! not enough information! too much purple on the website!
you should also make a note when you do like something - even if it's just a little bit! laughed at a funny joke. liked that one post about that one thing. nice header font. cool concept, i could do it better. that sort of thing!

i mention writing stuff down a lot because when you're in a space where things get overwhelming quickly and it feels like Everything is bad or Nothing makes you happy, it can be really helpful to have concrete reminders of specific things.

you mentioned wanting to have fun with your friends - i think that's a great thing to prioritize! can you drag them to the melonland minecraft server? have a get-together on gather? watch a movie together? ask them what things they've been having fun with lately; if they're not having fun at all either, then - great news, you've got a having-fun-again brainstorming buddy and accountability partner! decide on a stupid bad idea to do together. "let's play every single board game on boardgame arena." "let's watch hallmark christmas movies until we can't stand it any more." something like that; complaining and being annoyed can be a fun pastime and a way to let off some steam in a low-stakes setting!

maybe you could try to swap recommendations; would it be easier to surf the web if you're looking for things your friends might like, instead of things you'd like? if they do the same for you and you swap links, even if they link you stuff you hate it's at least a present from a friend that reminds you that people like you and think about you and want you to have a good time. make a links-exchange channel in the group chat or something?

if your friends aren't gamers, that's fine; you could try roleplaying, or drawing together, or collaborating on a writing or art project... whatever! if it sucks, then stop and try something else. never feel bad about ditching something that sucks and feels bad.
ALWAYS REMEMBER: IF IT SUCKS, HIT DA BRICKS!!!!!!!!   


reminding yourself you can quit whenever may make trying new things feel easier! it does for me. i hate trying new stuff, but i try to always remind myself that if it sucks i can and i will hit da bricks.

if you're feeling ESPECIALLY gloomy, try to replace your "doing stuff that makes me miserable on purpose" time with something that's good for you. when you get that "ughhh everything sucks im gonna make myself more miserable" feeling, how about you do something that sucks but isn't bad for you - clean your room, do some homework, do a chore you've been putting off, schedule an appointment. (all of these things make me VERY miserable!)
or orchestrate some other type of fake-punishment; "if i look at the comments, i HAVE to practice drawing hands/do a pushup/go outside and physically touch a plant". if you're gonna be your own worst enemy either way, you might as well hate yourself for being a goody two-shoes nag~
this works okay for me; i don't know if it'll be as effective for somebody else.

if you find yourself unable to tear yourself away from drama, i recommend picking some random forums for a hobby you aren't in to snoop on. the flight rising, ravelry, and scribophile forums are quite active, focused exclusively on their subculture, and probably will have plenty of Stuff going on all the time, including drama for you to not care about.
i think if you're prone to doomscrolling people getting in fights, it can help to spend that time snooping on fights you have no investment in whatsoever so that you aren't being as harmed by the habit; it helps with giving me perspective on stuff i do get upset about, too.
if you want to get mad about something that doesn't really matter, i recommend looking up books you have strong feelings about on goodreads and reading bad reviews of books you like or good reviews of books you hate; that's an easy low-stakes thing to get over, but you are also guaranteed to see some real bad opinions on there. (i think letterboxd is like that for movies, if you're more of a movie-watcher?)

"twitter follow recommendations if you're on twitter"

people - i am following a LOT of artists so i tried to trim it down on the artists front, but it's still artist-focused, haha!

neilcic
ryanqnorth
billwurtz
spacetwinks
itslittletunny
briamgilbert
crapmachine
skelehime
_ggdg_
ameizhao
jnwiedle
riibrego
chuwenjie
shoomlah
everydaylouie
waneella_
aatmajapandya
kuri_huang
mochiipanko
worthikids
_elibaum
faith_schaffer
prietomx
_Teejay5
ionomycin
videochess
plastiboo
sambeckdraws
austin_walker
hattersarts
sarakipin
BlairBraverman
loren_hardy
dukope
gummygunk
miraongchua
tomycardy
NN_EE_ZZ
warrenisdead
ckunzelman
_pocketss
thebadbucket
everestpipkin
sprintingowl
_itousa
QuinceMountain
Defunctland
Remember_Sarah
heybiji
marisashorror
KamikiriRIP
legolostatsea
jon_bois
tobyfox
xeeceevevo
mossworm1
pizzapranks
blackforager
nikdraperivy
trey_explainer
yacobg42


organizations~
keiclubofficial
oregonzoo
akwildlife
EVNautilus
cerealouslynet
sbcomicsfair
quoteresearch


gimmicks accounts~
TheStrangeLog
Bootleg_Stuff
isacatinthesink
mondomascots
VGAdvisor
bonebonebot
poorlycatdraw
yesterdaysprint
subparparks
early2000sstuff
japanesemagscan
clever_reports
no_need_go
unicouniuni3
mariobrothblog

[close]

"tumblr follows if you're on tumblr"

pangur-and-grim
forgottenflickr
reallybadblackoutpoems
myspaceglitter
uncharismatic-fauna
identifying-cars-in-posts
thegoodmorningman
retroscifiart
is-the-post-reliable
anipgarden
thingsorganizedneatly
probablyasocialecologist
creaturesculptures
dyemelikeasunset
lycomorbid
leahgardner-art
deadmotelsusa
mcmansionhell
renegadeguild
one-weird-mammal-a-day
doctorbeth
sartorialadventure
synthaphone
musicmoreweirdthangood
pastelfairytears
zine-scene
sywtwfs
tokyo-fashion
omgplants

[close]

edit: youtube! i forgot youtube! here's a pretty wide variety of topic/subcultures

Spoiler

JunsKitchen
DankPods
AntsCanada
AnyAustin
Baumgartner Restoration
Benn Jordan
brian david gilbert
BlackForager
CathodeRayDude
cybr.grl
DAS Bookbinding
Defunctland
Dollightful
Every Frame a Painting
Farya Faraji
Hanabira工房
How To Cook That
made in the moment (aka emma in the moment? they changed it really recently)
Gamer's Nexus
BobbyBroccoli
Coffeezilla
Internet Shaquille
Interurban Era
Jelle's Marble Runs
Jess Owens
Juno Birch
Lab Muffin Beauty Science
languagejones
Leafy Street
Li Speaks
Marques Brownleee
Mercury Stardust
Michael Reeves
Miscast
Pastel Cat World
PawsBuild
Shut Up and Sit Down
ProZD
ToddInTheShadows
Retail Archeology
Roughest Drafts
Secret Base
Simone Giertz
slow start
Studson Studio
Summoning Salt
supergreatfriend
Technology Connections
Texas Beeworks
The Stitchess
Tom Cardy
Tom Scott
TREY the explainer
TwoSetViolin
Worthikids
XFreezerBunnyX
Your Dinosaurs Are Wrong

[close]

i also recommend my ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY when it comes to following people: if someone puts a post i don't want to see on my feed, even if it's a quote-dunk or something, i add a keyword in it to my blacklist and unfollow them immediately (unless they are my friend or i really really really really like them). doesn't matter how much i like their other stuff.
i also recommend my two Inner Mantras which i aggressively remind myself of when i get annoyed: "i don't get it, and that's fine" + "well, i disagree! anyway...."
it helps me not dwell on stuff too much. it's fine to Just Disagree with somebody; it doesn't have to be a big deal. if i find myself feeling really defensive, then i note, "hmm, seems like i'm feeling defensive!" and consider if i might change my opinion. if not, then once again: well, i disagree! moving right along! i tend to get really worked up about disagreeing with people, but it really isn't a big deal.

hope some of that helps! sorry about not having more clickable links, i am lazy!

[bingus_baby]

people will call me a sheep

Kill them. JK OF COURSE, but.... Yeah jkjk. Except? They aren't worth your time. The only people with the balls to say this to me have been my grandparents, and all that took was listening to them yap about doomer world events for twenty minutes, and then they started talking about something better naturally. Smile and nod.
For online interactions, if you don't know them block them. If you do, digitally smile and nod with non-answers and thumbs-up reacts. Not interacting with content you don't like is your right as a person. We aren't alive long enough for it to be worth it. Use the time for something badass, like playing Fallout 3.

Which brings me to suggestions... These are all things I've personally done in my own quest to become less "chronically online" so I can confirm everything on this list is super cool and legit.

BADASS THINGS TO DO ON THE 'PUTER:
-Learn 3D software. I like Maya, but everyone hates me for it.
-Play games. Start here maybe?
-MikuMikuDance. Fun, easy, free.
-Learn UTAU, and make your own.
-Random freeware. Browse Archive.org long enough and you'll find a timewaster or five.
-Draw!
-Finally read the entirety of Homestuck.
-Pirate anime, and then watch it.
-Take up writing. You must have OCs or borbos in your head. Let them out. Open your favorite text editor and go to town!
-Animation. Try it! I like OpenToonz.

BADASS THINGS TO DO OFFLINE:
-Library. Get ur card!! Or maybe volunteer at the library.
-Clean your room/house. But I think I'm the only one here that enjoys that lol
-Walk/jog outside. I used to think that's a one way ticket to getting mugged, but it's a bit better than I thought. Still be safe tho! Try walking to a convenience store.
-Get a job. NO REALLY if you don't have irl friends, it's an easy way to make some and get social skills. Do retail for a bit and dealing with customers will genuinely help you to work with people better! My time in retail helped me to realize most customers are not NPCs and empathize with them better. As far as food goes, back of house at a restaurant will only make you worse. Front of house usually means tips.
-Extracurriculars. Become a band kid. Trust me. They are cringe, but they are FREE. High school and college both have band programs, idk which or either you are in, but join one of them. Or start a local rock band!
-Make music! Download audio software and make sick jamz.
-Visit cool restaurants.
-Take up hiking.
-Local park. Just chill there!
-Visit a mall. Even the dead ones are super cool.
-Grocery shopping, then cook tasty food!
-Take up sewing. If you don't know how, find a JoAnnes fabrics and talk to the scary ladies by the sewing machine displays. I'm pretty sure they're there to help, but idk.... Local libraries also have events to teach you how to sew.
-Learn to solder! This is a weird one, but I found it to be lots of fun.
-Decorate a cake. It's easier than you think.
-Learn to sculpt. Making ceramics is also in this category.
-Animation! Again. Research how they used to do it and make something traditionally. I can recommend good books if you need.
-Read! Read that book you bought and swore you'd read. (But only if it's fun and cool.) Manga gets bonus points. Scott Pilgrim is my overall top pick. The Marie Kondo books are also amazing. Also...
-Make your own graphic novel. If you think can't draw worth a damn? Of course you can! For most people I've met it's a mental block. Let it all hang out and go crazy. Bonus points if you bring crayons into it. Inspiration.
-Cosplay! Super fun.
-Goodwill! Get new clothes, or buy something to alter. Splatter paint, learn to screen print, make patches. Add rhinestones maybe?
-Cassette tapes and VHS. Enjoy physical media, or make your own mixes. Maybe learn how to record old fashioned? Get a relatively cheap Super8 camera from the local antique mall. Which brings me to...
-Antique mall. They're deceptively small, but if you're bored on a Thursday afternoon, it's a fantastic way to spend four hours and find the COOLEST STUFF known to man.
-Film photography. (The best kind, if I may.)
-Gardening.
-Record store. (Expensive, just take a look. Window shop.)
-Beach day! If you aren't near the beach, you may be near a lake. Go fishing!
-Roller skating, skateboarding, etc. Learn a cool new mode of transportation. For roller skating, you can rent a pair at a rink while you learn. relatively cheap.
-Look at Christmas lights. Walmart has 'em out, looking at bright and shiny stuff always makes me happy, and I usually need something at Walmart anyways.

I could list more, but hopefully something on this list is cool! If something is totally lame? Don't do it!!!! If you think anime is lame and for babies, don't watch it! If you're tired of books, put them down! Don't do things you don't like. Being miserable is fine, but it gets boring and lame after a while. Personally, I'm sick of being sad. I don't like it! Let's become un-sad together. UN-SAD THE WORLD!!!!!

Edit: I forgot a category. If you like YouTube and need suggestions for chill ppl to watch, here's a few. Truly the best people on the site. I'd be surprised if you hadn't crossed paths with at least one of them. I'd rate them all safe and not inflammatory. When I feel sad, any of these guys makes me feel better, especially Scott The Woz.
Linus Tech Tips
Scott The Woz
Ashley Norton
Izzzyzzz
DefunctLand
Jenny Nicholson

Honorable mention: RebelTaxi I don't watch his stuff as much anymore since he's kind of obnoxious as a person, but his aesthetic is cool and I feel like you'd like the early 2000s vibes.

[DiffydaDude]

okaaaay let's see!

first i think you should get some browser extensions to put more barriers between you and the impulse to read stuff that'll make you unhappy. i recommend Unhook for youtube - you can hide recommended videos, youtube comments, youtube shorts, and trending, and  a website blocker - i use this one, they're pretty much interchangeable. both are easy to circumvent, of course, but the point is adding some extra steps, so you're giving yourself more time to stop and say "do i REALLY want to look at that?" instead of going straight to looking at the comments!
...
hope some of that helps! sorry about not having more clickable links, i am lazy!

Hey thanks for the plugin i already added some websites to the list. its pretty helpful knowing i have something to seperate me from that stuff

Kill them. JK OF COURSE, but.... Yeah jkjk. Except? They aren't worth your time. The only people with the balls to say this to me have been my grandparents, and all that took was listening to them yap about doomer world events for twenty minutes, and then they started talking about something better naturally. Smile and nod.
For online interactions, if you don't know them block them. If you do, digitally smile and nod with non-answers and thumbs-up reacts. Not interacting with content you don't like is your right as a person. We aren't alive long enough for it to be worth it. Use the time for something badass, like playing Fallout 3.
...
Honorable mention: RebelTaxi I don't watch his stuff as much anymore since he's kind of obnoxious as a person, but his aesthetic is cool and I feel like you'd like the early 2000s vibes.

I wish i could enjoy more from this post but unfortunately ive already been doing most of the stuff on this list. I already have a library card, Ive been reading, I have 4 places where I could get records, 3 in the closest town luckily and theyre all relatively well priced, and I have some good youtube channels ive been watching like tasting history, grant wisler, lazarbeam, baronvongames, joann raptorgirl, even bani and kitten (theyre all really good). Ive actually done skateboarding and sculpting when i was younger but it wasnt my thing. Ive thought abt getting jobs but i dunno where to start.

[DiffydaDude]

So im gonna summarize what i think i oughta do here so i can look back on it later. I feel like as it stands, the way i hang around this part of the net makes me too stressed sometimes. Its usually the stuff like Ars Technica and Luke Smith and DigDeeper which make me stressed out, because of the stuff they write, how adamant they are about it, and i feel like if i dont believe them, then im just deflecting and stupid and Im not following my proper duty of destroying the state or some stuff like that. Its also just been hard to find any cool stuff that interests me, but luckily my friends posted some cool stuff so i can add all that to my "Cool Websites" folder. (edit this later im out 2 dinr)