The Whims and Woes of Parental Controls

[Absentmind]

How old are you?
30

Have you used parental controls (as a parent) or have they been used on you (as a minor)? What were your experiences?
No, I never had parental controls. It was a different time back then and whilst my parents were very tech illiterate, I guess the idea of stranger danger was emphasised in places like my school. I pretty much a lurker exclusively back then since I was taught that I could most certainly be targeted by some creep and was always very cautious.

Do you agree with the thesis that modern technology and the online world are fundamentally harmful to children? Why (not)?
Yes, 100%, social media which is probably the biggest thing kids want to be a part of and is driven by maintaining user engagement. We all know the "Ipad kids" meme.

Do you see parental controls as a useful tool to safeguard kids and teens online? In what ways?
While I'm not really sure about the tools since I've never used them, I do think of them as a deterrent and probably don't stop 100% of stuff. I think parental regulation is definitely important. My younger cousin who was about 9 or 10 at the time had just gotten a phone and had downloaded tiktok, she would upload herself doing stuff like singing songs with stuff like the n word in and post herself doing "risque" stuff like twerking etc. My sister discovered that she was doing this because she had access to her account as were the rules to her getting tiktok in the first place, my sister noticed that she had been dming someone who was most certainly an unsavoury character and had she not intercepted her account and deleted her account, somethings really bad could have happened.

I hear stories like this all the time, from friends who have kids to friend's kid siblings, the hyper interconnectivity makes it so much more easier to interact with strangers on a massive scale. Why does it feel like internet safety has taken a backseat in the modern tech era? Back when I was a teen, i'd see internet safety stuff everywhere.

What are alternative ways to reduce the harm modern technology inflicts on people?
See above; Parental regulation and teaching internet safety.

Can we ever regulate big tech?
Nope, it runs the world. Private industries will always see profit over things like child safety. Just look at Facebook, it's an absolute alt right utopia for propaganda, lucky that younger people are usually not into Facebook as it seems to target boomers these days. Why doesn't Facebook take action in stopping the cesspool of racism and fascism? Because they profit from it and caring costs too much. Back in the day, people would be scared to say anything controversial on a social media that uses your real name and face. Now people will say the most heinous shit with their personal details right there. Anyways, moving off course there, I think this kind of media is super harmful to children and fosters dangerous ideas.

[DJoftheCoven]

How old are you?
Exactly one month away from 21.

Have you used parental controls (as a parent) or have they been used on you (as a minor)? What were your experiences?
Although most people my age had gen X parents, my parents were both baby boomers, so they had absolutely no idea how to even impose such restrictions. My brother and I were given almost completely unfettered access to the net. And what we did with it? Well, nothing really. I had a fun time playing flash games and stumbling on handmade websites about my interests, then I'd get up and help make dinner or go running around outside or play Wii with my twin. My mom would occasionally walk up behind me when I was using the computer to see what I was looking at, and I can only recall maybe one or two incidents when she had to intervene (mostly because I had stumbled on sonic fan content that was a bit too violent for a child). I was otherwise pretty good at keeping myself safe, in no small part because my school had one million internet safety PSAs to ensure I knew the dangers of giving strangers my info. I was totally uninterested in hanging out in chatrooms with adults--so on that front I was very lucky compared to other 2000's kids.


Do you agree with the thesis that modern technology and the online world are fundamentally harmful to children? Why (not)?
I have mixed thoughts. The internet that I remember growing up on was warm and inviting, despite the very dark corners that existed out of my sight. Thinking of kids growing up without access to it makes me pretty sad. But the reality is that even the most "online" kids right now are not even close to experiencing the net as it was when I was their age. Instead of spending time on kid-friendly dress up games and virtual worlds, kids (of any gender, though this example is more typical of young girls) right now are being funneled into the same social media hellscape as the adults around them, expected from younger and younger ages to curate an aesthetic, to be ashamed of their bodies, to wear makeup and adult clothing to skip over the awkward tween phase of fuzzy pants and pokemon sweatshirts covered in paint stains. Even the exposure to advertising is so much more dramatic than it was when I was young. We all joke about banner ads on our old computers, but at least we recognized those as ads. Some studies have shown that kids have a hard time distinguishing between paid and unpaid content on tiktok and instagram. This stuff is... downright insidious. Ultimately, I don't think kids should be kept away from the net entirely, but I believe they should be thoroughly briefed about the dangers and encouraged to develop healthier relationships with their tech; particularly with regular offline breaks.


What are alternative ways to reduce the harm modern technology inflicts on people?
I believe a healthy balance is possible. For one, kids should not be receiving phones until they're at least in 8th grade (for non-Americans: around age 14). Full stop. For another, I think it would be much safer to get them flip phones than smartphones. I have a flip that's capable of only basic internet functions, the most modern being the ability to access youtube and google maps. Having it has drastically reduced my own dependency on the internet in my daily life, and I think this could be extremely helpful in outright preventing an internet dependency in teenagers. Give them CD players and an mp3 player for their music. Teach them how to use more outdated tech--stuff that still has the function of modern stuff at its core (playing music, making calls) but which has little to no spyware and definitely less advertising. I mentioned internet safety briefings above; I think that it should be given to every child as early as they can understand it, then again when they're older. I have other ideas, but I don't want to drag this out past the point of legibility.


Can we ever regulate big tech?
This question is complicated, but I can direct you towards the book "The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation" by Cory Doctrow as my way of saying a hesitant yes. With many caveats.

[wygolvillage]

1. How old are you?

21

2. Have you used parental controls (as a parent) or have they been used on you (as a minor)? What were your experiences?

They've been used on me throughout my teen years, in addition to my parents stalking my social media, outing me before I was ready, trying to convince me to delete art and writing they thought was "concerning", etc. I consider the practice of monitering a child's online activity to be emotionally abusive and isolating. It did nothing to protect me from the actual harm I experienced online. It destroyed the trust I had in sharing anything with my parents, and this was always done out of a desire to control me rather than help me in any way (as most desires to "protect children" are)

3. Do you agree with the thesis that modern technology and the online world are fundamentally harmful to children? Why (not)?

Absolutely not. Being online gave me the freedom to create and make friends and kept me social even when I was at my most isolated. I believe most of the risks of being a child online can be mitigated through education about online safety. If your monitered child doesn't trust you enough to share their experiences with you, then they are in far greater danger than they would be if they were equipped with knowledge that can keep them safe.


4. Do you see parental controls as a useful tool to safeguard kids and teens online? In what ways?

See above. I regard them as abusive and counterproductive.


5. What are alternative ways to reduce the harm modern technology inflicts on people?

Again, education. Encouraging each other to not be afraid of the block button, to widen our online appetite from social media, to foster non-toxic environments in our online spaces.


6. Can we ever regulate big tech?

I'm not sure. The obvious solution is to dismantle capitalism, but that might take a while ;)

[BlazingCobaltX]

So, it turns out that Australia is planning on outright banning kids off the internet?
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4gzd62g1r3o

In my opinion, that's not the best move, but it would definitely lower the impact..

The ban in question is now in effect. It seems that the burden to make the websites inaccessible to minors falls on the social media websites and that kids circumventing the bans won't be punished.

I have multiple feelings. Research-wise it will be interesting to compare children in a future Australia - where the ban is effectively implemented - with children that have unrestricted access to social media. But the violation of children's autonomy is apparent, not to mention that it may be impossible to enforce this ban once kids discover the wonderful capacities of a VPN. Because the burden will fall on the corporations and not individual users, I think that the law is mainly intended to forcibly apply strict control on those corporations. In that sense, this new law may be a win.

Also: Sometime in the future (when I have more free time) I will write a short, informal paper summarising everybody's answers here. That feels like the best way to integrate the different views presented here. If you want your input to be part of that, be sure to answer the questions from the OP.