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Author Topic: Translation - Zarathustra's roundelay  (Read 80 times)
ThunderPerfectWitchcraft
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« on: April 03, 2025 @758.72 »

Just tried to translate this short - and very beautiful - poem for a friend, as I thought the existing english versions to be lacking - and I think it came out rather well!

Quote
Oh man! Pay heed!

What does the deepest midnight speak?

"Oh- I did sleep, Oh- I did sleep

I did awake, from deepest dream.

The world is deep,

much deeper, than the day did deem.

Deep is her woe,

delight - is deeper more, than heartache is:

Woe says: Perish.

But delight seeks eternity-

-seeks deepest, deep eternity.

Now, I'm not an native english speaker - so feedback is most welcome. Feel also free to share your translations of poems not available in English if you want :).
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Melooon
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« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2025 @775.15 »

I like your translation! Its clearer than the ones on wikipedia and I really like the "What does the deepest midnight speak? Oh- I did sleep, Oh- I did sleep" although I also really like the "Lose not sight! What saith the deep midnight?" from one of the old translations.

I uhh decided to make my own melonland-emote translation based on the english texts  :grin:

:ha: Wake Up!
The night is speaking to you ...
:sleep:  :sleep:
Deary, wake up from your dream
The night is :omg: while the day is :tnt:
Sometimes being sad is :defrag:
  but :seal: is  :defrag: :defrag: :happy:
:seal: is  :skull: but  :4u: too
While  :defrag: is  :wizard: so don't be blue
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ThunderPerfectWitchcraft
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« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2025 @829.28 »

That's utmost wonderful :grin:

My flatmate just suggested
Quote
Human! Pay heed!

What does the deepest midnight speak?

"Oh- I did sleep, Oh- I did sleep

I did awake, from deepest dream.

The world is deep,

much deeper, than the day did deem.

Deep is her woe,

delight - is deeper more, than heart's-ache is:

Woe says: Perish.

But desire lusts for endlessness-

-for deepest, deepest endlessness.

Which I indeed consider to be an improvement over my original attempt, as it both improves the rhyming towards the end and introduces the dual nature (high "delight" and primal "lust") that is inherent to the German "Lust".
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