describe your ideal partner!

[dim]

hey, everyone :)
whether romantic love is an important part of your life currently or not, whether you have specific ideas about how a relationship can look like for you or not, and regardless of your preferred number or type of partners - if you're someone who finds romantic love with another human being and enjoyable prospect, i believe it can be fun and truly beneficial to reflect on what your ideal, "dream" partner(s) (or even life partner!) would be like, in your conception at the moment. it can reveal a lot about your experiences, the values you prioritize, and to which extent you can or cannot compromise on certain aspects. perhaps it could even reveal traits you'd like to work on within yourself! it is thus i propose this exercise, and also out of sheer curiosity to hear what people say when asked about this, and how they fantasize!

this description can include whatever you think of: values, character traits, activities or interests you'd like to share or enjoy together, physical characteristics, the life phase they're in, how they'd act towards you, tendencies in their behavior are just some of the examples that come to mind. if a description of the 'ideal' sounds overwhelming to think about, or otherwise inconvenient for you, do feel free to adapt the format to something else, for example your minimum "criteria" for a partner, or split the description into "ideal but optional", "must-haves" and "deal-breakers", or whatever else floats your boat.

to make this even more fun (well, at least for me), i propose for those interested in participating not to read what the others have written before they complete their description as to not be influenced, and just to see what comes to their own mind as important, spontaneously! feel free to either post without having read others' descriptions, to write a post containing your spontaneous description followed by addendums inspired by others' posts, to fully ignore this suggestion, and anything in-between or tangential, haha.

that being said, it is only fair i begin with my own description of the ideal partner. admittedly, it is a bit muddled with what i consider my 'minimum', and i'm not entirely sure which is which for me, but it'll do! and i'll spoiler it in case people do like my suggestion above. also, please keep in mind my description contains vague references to 18+ topics.

Spoiler

my ideal / minimum ? partner as of now:

• loves me intensely, and expresses it frequently and in detail.
• appreciates words, communication, expression and connection at least nearly as much as me (they are my number one priority in a bond
• appreciates art in various ways, is somewhat artistic at least
• emotionally intelligent, mature. good coping skills, not cognitively rigid or highly reactive with no means to self-regulate.
• attentive, kind, no discriminatory views.
• does not consume porn and is either demisexual or at least does not prioritize executing any particular sex acts. cares about sex as a means to express love with me, not just for pleasure.
• introspective, strives to better themself, takes care of themself, has goals.
• notices and appreciates subtlety and details, processes things profoundly and communicates them verbosely more often than not. (so, also well-spoken and preferably at least somewhat educated)
• intelligent humor. curious nature.
• present-minded, not 'glued to their phone', wants to experience life.
• does not lie, or confesses immediately if a compulsive lie did occur.
• likes to surprise me and think about ways to brighten my day
• gets involved in my daily life and cares about my progress, is mindful about my wellbeing.
• optional: likes good cinema, meeting new people, music, learning new things, travel, and to dress in an expressive way.

[close]

enjoy!
- dim