Should sharing on the web feel scary?

[Bugs (RetroInsect)]

Does anyone else feel weird about sharing stuff online? I always feel super afraid of putting any sort of personal information online, even totally inconsequential things like art I've made!  

I want to be more open online especially on my website. I wonder if feeling the way I do is common especially here on webspaces and personal sites.        It seems like these places should be less scary because of how personalized websites are and how much harder they are to find but I'm still afraid what I do online will get traced back to me IRL. Even though its not like I'm doing anyhting here that would get me into trouble!

On the other hand, maybe being overly cautious is good? It does seem better than being too open online. I sometimes see kids posting online with their face as thier profile picture and their location in their bio. Which is definitely dangerous

It probably is just about balance, as most things are. Let me know what you guys think! Do you feel the same way? Do you have some way to get over that feeling? Or, am I crazy?

[Memory]

really i feel similar as hell.

i don't like sharing my identity, i only say my gender and my pronouns, and like... that's it. and even then i don't blare them on my site or anything, i just have it small somewhere.
but i don't even want to share my persona, it just feels way too unsafe for some reason. only described her sometimes but i wouldn't wanna share her online, i just go by whatever people think i am (^^)

sharing online def can be a little scary, but more recently i've noticed some people have... not been so careful, i guess.
it feels especially weird sharing my stuff.

On the other hand, maybe being overly cautious is good? It does seem better than being too open online. I sometimes see kids posting online with their face as thier profile picture and their location in their bio. Which is definitely dangerous

yea especially young kids online, like 13 and under? it's dangerous as hell, but i've also seen people online use their real life names and things in their bio and stuff.
i understand especially if it's a preferred name and they don't have many safe spaces in the real world they can have it, but it's still a real-life name so it's not very wise -- at least in my perspective! 

[shapezncolourz]

oh, for sure!!

the main thing i notice is in regards to location. most people in the uk seem to have no qualms about talking about the cities or even smaller towns they live in, meanwhile the most specific i can say is the highlands and that could be up to 2/3rds of scotland - anywhere from argyll up to shetland; the hebridies across to elgin depending on how you define things ill be moving to a city somewhere else in the uk for uni, and im hesitant to even specify the country because everywhere else outside of england is so small!! DX

(completely off topic but looking for place examples got me thinking about what is and isnt considered highland... is it just the highland council area? is it wherever theres a highland hospice charity shop or uhi campus? are all of the islands highland? ive seen some say that moray, orkney, and shetland arent highland, and some that consider some or all of those as such... X{)

to get back on topic, ive been feeling a similar way around my name recently - ive been just wanting to drop the digital monikers and go by the name i picked out for myself online too, but being the genderqueer stereotype i am i just picked a random noun as a name, and i know for a FACT that i am the only highlander with my name, because it isnt a name at all

[boreal_cryptid]

i feel you very much. i even have a literal paranoid ideation due to personal reasons. i often delete personal stuff, always check if my places/accounts are connected (directly, or through obvious things like username), keep many things to myself instead of sharing.

i don't think you're crazy! everyone has their reasons. there's definitely bare minimum of online security that people should know, of course. 

understanding my threat model helped me to feel less anxious.
threat model is different for different people. i needed to understand what kind of situation i'm in.

something like...
are you a privacy-conscious person who just doesn't want google to steal your data?
do you have experience with being stalked, doxxed, etc?
are you an activist/journalist and your reedom could be at risk?
are you a person from discriminated minority?
(don't need to answer here, it's just things to think about)

sometimes it's a hard decision to share something, to understand what risks do you have. take your time! no need to rush. you don't own people anything.

and also, i truly understand the problem with art. it's hard to be "anonymous" when you have a consistent style, or unique characters. my decision was to create an internet persona specifically for this. though... i'm still anxious!

advice, if needed, is below. if not, please let me know, i don't wanna give unsolicited advices...

Spoiler

check bare minimum of privacy, just basics: creating different emails/contact info for different purposes, not showing your face (or just blur it), not sharing your location, not sharing official information, cleaning metadata from photos, deleting old accounts that you don't use anymore, not sharing your exact age (like a date of birth) or using fake age (20 instead of 23 or something like this) or just saying that you're adult/minor, etc.

try to understand if it's enough for you.
if not, try the next level: replace doxxing info with something vague. like to mention your country instead of your's city name (or don't share anything at all!), change friends' IRL names with one letter nickname or fake name, be vague about your IRL activity (like place of work), etc.

how does it feel?
if you're still not sure, you can try to create anonymous blog for too personal texts that is separated from your main site, and to share it with people who interested instead of sharing with everyone. it would be probably a good idea to create another username for it too. or to create a "boring" username (not too unique). like, i dunno, "cat", "ghost", you know what i mean?

and the last thing: i can (privately) share with you my small site about safety. don't wanna link it here. feel free to write me anywhere! 

also, other people here, you're free to write me too just don't say to anyone it's my site lol. i believe in you.

[close]

[kingdomcome]

I can definitely relate to it being very scary to say anything at all about yourself, or in general, on the web. I started trying to desensitize myself to that fear 4 years ago, & it's worked out well, but I fear that now I might be too open instead.

Can also definitely relate to what boreal_cryptid said, about having paranoid i deation surrounding it. Though it's calmed down drastically for me, to the point that I'm probably a typical amount of cautious, as opposed to how I was before.

I definitely think there's a big age gap in netiquette information. Like, that younger kids aren't taught it these days because it's assumed they "know how the internet works" because they were raised on it. It's troubling! That's not how any of this works! 

It sucks that folks will be suspicious of you if you omit details about yourself, or they ask why you use generalized terms for yourself, & you tell them it's "for privacy reasons." That whole why would you care if you don't have something to hide? schtick gets on my nerves. It's about the right to disappear! It's not because I'm guilty of anything!

Not adding anything new or of value to the thread here lol, just agreeing with y'all mostly. Not everything one posts has to be useful (I hope...)

[Julikins]

I would say absolutely. Regardless of the age someone might be, knowing well that someone could read whatever information you put out there is terrifying... The information could very well be false or absolutely true to a tee, it's still nerve-wrecking.

When I was younger I do recall some forms of media - mostly a cheesy ABC Family film and a PSA - were eyeopening about the dangers of online communication. It didn't have a positive mindset influenced into my somewhat malleable brain. The one piece of advice though that was a complete 180 was to be mindful of what you post on public forums and never forget since then. I admit that I do forget such a grain of rice advice, but it goes along real well with curating your online experience.

In similar fashion to most of my artwork, I try to consult my inner "management" to see if there's a risk in uptick of anxiety. It's the main driving force behind my stance of not posting every single piece of art on my art spaces - sketches or complete pieces. Writings I tend to keep to myself especially since I have no intentions of publishing works at this point in time. Not even to websites that give me the option to. Webcomics that are original though, I've been willing to open up to the idea at least! Just figuring out where to host it but had lack of input because my limited reach...

Maybe that's what got me into the website curation in the first place. If it allows me to be my nerdy self and infodumping favorite pieces of media with credit to the original media in question, then by golly - I'm open to it. Still, I do feel that bit of anxiety of making posts regardless of the topic I'm talking about - but having some college courses in the past that require me to communicate with classmates for course credits has opened me up to forums a bit more.

[TheFrugalGamer]

I think this is something everyone has to decide for themselves, and for me personally, I've always been a bit more open about sharing some of my details than others. I honestly think this is because I'm a little bit older and more in control of my surroundings, and I think there's a strong correlation between how much you value your privacy and how much you're able to exert control over the things and situation around you.

All that to say I don't thing it's my place to convince anyone to change their personal privacy stance unless it's actively making them unhappy. Also, if you're not sure about how you feel about privacy now, just be aware that it may change over time as your circumstances change, hopefully for the better.

It sucks that folks will be suspicious of you if you omit details about yourself, or they ask why you use generalized terms for yourself, & you tell them it's "for privacy reasons." That whole why would you care if you don't have something to hide? schtick gets on my nerves. It's about the right to disappear! It's not because I'm guilty of anything!

Totally agree with this! I've had various names that I use across the web for different things, and one time I accidentally ended up showing an alias to someone in my real life. They were completely baffled that I wouldn't actually use my real, full name in an email for non-work related things and INSISTED that it meant I was doing naughty things online. I could not for the life of me understand why they made that assumption, and still don't!

[Malice]

I absolutely think it's good to be cautious about what information you put out online, especially if you're a minor or have had incidents that put you at risk such as stalkers or abusive situations. I wrote a blog post about protecting yourself online awhile ago and certain parts I wrote do err on the hardcore side, but I mainly wrote it with children/at risk people in mind. For people outside of that demographic it's really up to them and their circumstances. For example, sometimes people use websites/social media for work reasons and they need to have certain information up. Even then, I'd still try to minimize the amount of any personal info that isn't necessary.

As for me, I use a screen name, don't post photos of my face, and I don't give out blatant location info. The most I'd usually say is the closest major city to me (and it's a HUGE city so I'm ok with sharing it sometimes). Since I'm an adult, I feel okay with giving out my age or at least letting people know I'm an adult.