Have You Experienced Things??

[Dynaknights]

This is a bit of a weird question that's mostly targeted toward neurodivergent people, but anyone can feel free to answer it.

A lot of people have expectations for what others should know in terms of the cultural zeitgeist and such, I guess. Popular films, songs, celebrities, etc. Until extremely recently, I hated getting out of my comfort zone and interacting with things that were unrelated to my interests, and I've been getting enough shit for it as I got older for me to wonder what a 'normal person' is supposed to know. :/
For example: I remember a time a friend of mine got genuinely pissed at me for never having seen Aladdin, Scream, Descendants, and a lot of other movies/TV shows because I've just never been much of a film person. Hell, they were genuinely surprised when I told them I've seen The Lion King. I've had people kind of sort of yell at me because I've never played Guilty Gear or Risk of Rain and have never heard of Kurt Cobain and Kai Cenat and it always makes me spiteful enough to never touch them with a ten foot pole. x(

Am I supposed to know these things? Do you also have this problem with others? Is this normal or something??
Like, I've personally never cared much about engaging with what's popular and what's not, but I'm just curious. Maybe I feel as though I don't know a lot about media because I disengaged myself from social media along with me being pretty young, but I'm not sure. Any thoughts for my disjointed ramble would be helpful...

[Null]

Yeah, I've had similar experiences, a lot of the times I don't really know what people are talking about when they reference popular media. At this point though, most of the people that I surround myself with understand that. Sometimes it goes the other way when I talk about media I'm into and people have no clue what I'm talking about.   

[poesu]

always makes me spiteful enough to never touch them with a ten foot pole

Valid as hell.

Like who the fuck yells at someone for not knowing pop culture? It is not a normal behaviour. I didn't encounter anything outright hostile like that, but once a friend was just surprised to hear I wasn't interested at all in the lives of any bloggers/public figures.

I didn't interact with pieces of media you listed, too, except for Aladdin. I've not even heard of Guilty Gear or Risk of Rain, lol. I don't really want to know, and I even have an aversion towards mainstream/popular things.

Am I supposed to know these things?

Please please please don't be hard on yourself for this! No one has to be well versed in pop culture, especially if it's taking a toll on you. That's kind of a them problem, if people get so mad over a piece of media like it's a moral obligation to know about it or something. I genuinely do not understand this reaction.

[Metropolis]

What is risk of rain anyways. Also nah u don't need to worry about not knowing things like that.

But I do think it's always good to have at least like a semi awareness about what's going on in the cultural zeitgeist or whatever, I feel like it just helps me socially like with small talk or whatever 😭 but again no need to feel bad about not knowing what those things are or not participating in such media.

 I always hate it when people act like I'm some sort of idiot or something for not knowing about a particular media or whatever 😭😭. Also I have never watched Aladdin or scream either so dw about it.

[sunnyp4rk]

You don't have to engage with media that's popular. I like expanding my list of favorite media so SOMETIMES I'll check out something that might be popular, but I generally stay within my circle of things I already like.

I had to look up Risk of Rain and I'm not sure why people would be upset at you about that. I'd never heard of it before just now.

[rnottelovesowls]

the "popular things" such as aladdin, the lion king, sailor moon, neon genesis evangelion, shrek, mario, etc. are really best experienced as a "gateway" towards something you might enjoy more. for instance, i may like sailor moon, but cardcaptor sakura is my actual favorite magical girl anime. i like shrek, and i won't deny its place in pop culture, but i actually enjoy puss in boots (and the last wish) much more. there's nothing wrong with liking something that's not mainstream popular, more than something that is

truth be told, it's hard for me to keep up with what's popular these days. not because of my being neurodivergent, but because there are SO. MANY. SHOWS. MOVIES. SONGS. AND GAMES! coming out every month. we have more media than we can ever get through in our lifetimes. so i won't apologize if i don't have the latest netflix true crime docuseries on my backlog, or if i've never played undertale, or if i don't know what the heck is going on in the marvel cinematic universe. catching up on the hottest media is like a full-time job that you have to pay for. and who needs that?

EDITED: for clarity; i am neurodivergent, but that has nothing to do with my inability to keep up with what's popular

[Metropolis]

You don't have to engage with media that's popular. I like expanding my list of favorite media so SOMETIMES I'll check out something that might be popular, but I generally stay within my circle of things I already like.

I had to look up Risk of Rain and I'm not sure why people would be upset at you about that. I'd never heard of it before just now.

like bro who are these people getting upset about risk of rain 😭😭

[poesu]

Oh well, now that Undertale is mentioned, I actually remembered when my chat member almost lashed out at me for not enjoying it. They were sooo pushy for me to try it, I even wasn't comfortable chatting about games I played (after my failed attempt at playing Undertale) that I enjoyed. They were also negatively surprised that none in the chat has played Celeste that they considered to be based. They were generally an explosive type of person and eventually quit the chat and I was relieved I didn't have to constantly "tame" them finally, lol. They were neurodivergent though, while I assume the conversation here is about neurotypical weirdos more than anything.

I wonder about the overall character of (neurotypical) people who tend to react like this to someone not knowing pop culture.

[larvapuppy]

There are ways that knowing the popular stuff can be valuable, like:

• Connecting with your fellow human beings over shared pop cultural knowledge: Anecdotally, after watching all of Seinfeld a few years ago, I have more in common with the Gen X's in my life, because that show was popular when they were young adults. I understand the references they make about it, and sometimes even laugh at them. 
• Understanding a work more deeply through intertextuality: using an example you brought up- Shakespeare's Hamlet is intertext for The Lion King (an uncle usurping the throne that rightfully belongs to his nephew). It's an interesting and enriching exercise to compare the two works, but you can enjoy the film without knowing anything about the play.
• Catching references to other media: I have a little chuckle every time an animation I'm watching parodies that one motorbike shot from Akira.

However, we have a finite amount of time in this life, and even less consisting of free time outside of work and school. Spending it doing things that we don't enjoy in order to fit in or because "everyone does/has done this" is a waste. As for going outside our comfort zones, people love to suggest that we do when it benefits them, but going outside of your comfort zone is actually supposed to be for your own personal enrichment, not for others'. It's how you gain new skills and find new passions that you wouldn't have ordinarily found within your comfort zone. Watching movies that don't interest you at all just to conform to a certain standard of pop cultural literacy doesn't fall into this category. Sitting in front of movies and TV is a passive hobby and only very rarely changes you deeply as a person. If someone thinks they are better than you because they've seen xyz they are probably a deeply insecure person without much else to base their self-worth on.

[Noah_S]

I looked at your profile, and I'm a lot older. I had never heard of most of the things you mentioned.

But yes, I've had people get aggressive with me for not knowing that some celebrity couple had broken up. I didn't even know that they had been together, despite it apparently having been "everywhere". *shrug* What can I say, I have other priorities than keeping track of who's dating who.

Also when I opt out of some media for my mental health, I've had people get pushy about how I "have to" watch it and how I "would absolutely" enjoy it. No I don't and no I wouldn't. In some cases it would literally be a miracle of biblical proportions for me to be willing to, as the circumstances necessary would involve someone rising from the dead. And that's only the start of what would be required.

Don't worry about it. If you're not into something, you don't have to engage with it just because it's popular. And you don't have to try to appeal to people who can't accept a "no".

[fablefound]

until i was in my late teens, i had a very narrow range of interests, and honestly, i can't say i regret it all that much. i knew what i liked, even if it did kinda hinder my ability to make small talk, as some folks have mentioned. i did eventually find people with similar interests, at least, and that actually broadened my horizons a bit!

please never beat yourself up because you haven't seen some particular show or movie. as others have mentioned, there is soooo much stuff out there. several centuries worth of media to consume!! it's literally not possible to have seen it all, and that's okay. you know your tastes best, and folks who'll judge you based on how many movies you have logged on letterboxd are, frankly, poor judges of character.

(my one exception to this train of thought is someone who will shut down entire mediums and movements because they're biased or misinformed, like the "all animation is for kids" and "rap music is all violent and misogynistic" crowds. but that's hopefully less and less of an issue as time goes on!)

[eote]

Carve out your own life and care about the things you like! It doesn't matter if you haven't watched a movie or played a game and don't really have the desire to. Personally idgaf about any celebrities and go out of my way to Not hear about them whatsoever. Watch the things you want, play the games you have interest in. Do what you want forever.

That being said, it doesn't hurt to explore some things that are outside of your comfort zone or something you've never really considered before. Sometimes you'll be pleasantly surprised and find something you really enjoy :)!

[Licheus]

Pop culture knowledge is a bit overrated. Your topic ultimately boils down to people’s insecurities and unwillingness to feel like they don’t know what’s going on. Feeling comfortable with not knowing should be the natural state of curious and healthy people.

The more mainstream the movie, the more people will have seen it (by definition, duh). They have invested time in it, enjoyed it, and often feel connected to the group that thinks the same. If the group then is large, a gravitational pull will form in society to make being “in the know” the “right” thing.

But there isn’t really a good reason to accept this.

It’s very subjective as well. Pokémon is the largest franchise in the world. But you can bet a fan of The Bachelor will think it’s more common sense to know details from that show. There’s no logic or continuity here. And emotionally, it’s just about using your time for what you enjoy.

You’ll also find that people who are “in the know” often are nerds in their own way, even though society hasn’t labelled them as such. People seldom have “common sense” knowledge in all popular domains like they think they do either, because then they would ironically be nerds/have outlier knowledge bases themselves. Someone might know all the newest movies but don’t know who Akira Kurosawa is. Someone else will be really good at naming games that were really popular when they grew up, but will be lost when it comes to really popular band names or whatever. They will all have their own, subjectively weighted, ideas of what’s “obvious” and “common sense knowledge”.

I’m also not much of a film person, by the way. I just don’t really think the medium works very well. Arguably for comedy, but it needs to be pretty well done. I like Office Space. Arguably action scenes can be entertaining as well. But, again, needs to be well done and runs into the problem that movies aren’t good enterainment (if the whole movie is action scenes, there’ll be no story and it’ll get uninteresting, but if there is story outside of action scenes, then you’re watching something which isn’t action scenes and it’s not interesting anymore either). Arguably Lord of the Rings is good entertainment, but that’s about it for me. ^^

Just put your time to what you enjoy and be like “no, I haven’t seen that one” or “I never heard of that” when people ask.

When it comes to getting out of your comfort zone in a broader sense, it can generally be good to do so just a little bit because the cost benefit calculations are too good to ignore. Like if you never try cooking, you’ll bleed in that area of your life in terms of money, options, possibly nutrients etc. The first ten hours of learning any activity gives a lot more bang for your time investment than the hours from number 10000 to 10010. So you don’t need to commit a lot. You’ll also train your brain similar to how you train muscles in your body by using them, making you less susceptible to dementia as you grow old. But yeah, I’m getting off topic. =)

[AndGeo]

Certainly some of these things can be worth knowing. Should you know Kurt Kobain for example? Well, him and Nirvana were important for the development of popular (rock/punk derived) music and I'd say their music is pretty good as well. But most of pop culture is ultimately not that important.

I would say it's not unimportant to be a part of the times but this can mean really different things depending on one's interests. A doctor should be up to date with things in his field and someone who really likes *film* probably should know what is going on and what are considered classics. But they don't need to know Guilty Gear necessarily. 

[cleanduck]

This is a bit of a weird question that's mostly targeted toward neurodivergent people, but anyone can feel free to answer it.

A lot of people have expectations for what others should know in terms of the cultural zeitgeist and such, I guess. Popular films, songs, celebrities, etc. Until extremely recently, I hated getting out of my comfort zone and interacting with things that were unrelated to my interests, and I've been getting enough shit for it as I got older for me to wonder what a 'normal person' is supposed to know. :/
For example: I remember a time a friend of mine got genuinely pissed at me for never having seen Aladdin, Scream, Descendants, and a lot of other movies/TV shows because I've just never been much of a film person. Hell, they were genuinely surprised when I told them I've seen The Lion King. I've had people kind of sort of yell at me because I've never played Guilty Gear or Risk of Rain and have never heard of Kurt Cobain and Kai Cenat and it always makes me spiteful enough to never touch them with a ten foot pole. x(

Am I supposed to know these things? Do you also have this problem with others? Is this normal or something??
Like, I've personally never cared much about engaging with what's popular and what's not, but I'm just curious. Maybe I feel as though I don't know a lot about media because I disengaged myself from social media along with me being pretty young, but I'm not sure. Any thoughts for my disjointed ramble would be helpful...

I think this goes for everyone tbh. Because put the other way around, many people who are more involved with the mainstream media often don't know about nicher media either. Which we could treat them the same way for as they treat us for not having seen something mainstream they know. I chuckled at your Lion King reference, because I also haven't seen it and don't care for it. I always get shit for not having seen it or many other Disney movies. But I've never been into Disney even as a kid growing up. This also goes for other mainstream media-- I've been told several times by my colleagues in a teasing manner that I '' live under a rock '' because of this lol. Which I don't mind haha. They don't know about many of my (niche) interest either.

The part about your comfort zone. The one thing I do wanna say is sometimes getting out of your comfort zone to interact with media or things in general you don't know about can be a good thing. If not for the knowledge gained, even if it does not interest you it could lead you to something else that could.