What is womanhood to you?

[chilblands]

Hello, I am working on a small web project that aims to address menstruation, women’s health, and mental health. This is the first question I am starting this web project with: “What is womanhood to you?”

I am currently collecting answers on what womanhood means to people. The answer collection period closes on the 5th of September 2026, and it is open to everyone, regardless of identity. I just want to know your personal opinion; there are no wrong answers. Of course, answers are still welcome after the “closing date”. I would still love to know your thoughts and experience! This is my answer written on BearBlog.

You can reply to this post, complete this anonymous forum or email me (chilblands@proton.me) your answers. It can be in any language or media.

Update:
Few people wanted the responses to be public before the cut off date so this here it ishttps://cryptpad.fr/sheet/#/2/sheet/view/ZwtHIhGUlClUqXyjVuK5d1yS42mr+AwYVYw80p0l4cM/

I would also be really appreciative if you can to participate in a quick survey on the direction I take this project in the future https://cryptpad.fr/form/#/2/form/view/qo4DjEFxy-Hn07sg1ZOMe90xSujVaUelZKQbh6EidVk/
Thank you!

[mortaki]

oh this is so cool. I've always wanted to see some open discussion about exactly this topic.

I also have a bearblog that I post essays on. If I wrote one about my answer, would I be good just to send you a link to it? I am... very loquacious lol.

[chilblands]

If I wrote one about my answer, would I be good just to send you a link to it? I am... very loquacious lol.

Yes of course! Feel free to :) I have one person on BearBlog sent me their post and I linked them back (link to blog post here) If you are comfortable I will link your BearBlog my original post as well 

[TeaInTheMorning]

This is a super hard question! I'm gonna try to get around to answering the question myself!
Might X-post the contents on my barely existent blog (currently have a grand 0 posts lol)

[Memory]

To me, womanhood is just...what I am?

Like, it doesn't go that far beyond "I was born a girl, and I identify as a girl". It doesn't really change the way I see myself, or impact how I choose to live my life, you know? It's not a super deep part of my identity in every day life.

[sphinx]

Interesting question.
The first thing to come to mind was something about growing up with constant little annoyances relating to other peoples' expectations.
It's an ever ongoing process navigating around those expectations. From small things in childhood like "you don't want to play with those kinds of toys, do you?" "you can't wear those shoes" to later on when friends start pushing you to like boys and wear certain things and they get angry with you or question your identity if you don't conform, to adulthood when your family and peers put pressure on you to think about marrying and having children.

Womanhood feels like there's a set standard, certain way of doing things, that was decided for you long ago, and everyone seems to agree about it. Everyone seems to be in on it. And you just have to keep telling yourself to power through it all and that it's okay to go your own way. Even if it feels bad not being able to meet all the expectations of the "ideal" womanhood, it will feel so much worse if you attempt it at all costs and in the process abandon yourself.

I'm sorry if that's not a good answer. It's just my first thoughts.

[chilblands]

I'm sorry if that's not a good answer. It's just my first thoughts.

Thank you for your response :)

There is no wrong or "good" answer! This is a totally subjective question on your definition of a identity.

Update:
Few people wanted the responses to be public before the cut off date so this here it ishttps://cryptpad.fr/sheet/#/2/sheet/view/ZwtHIhGUlClUqXyjVuK5d1yS42mr+AwYVYw80p0l4cM/

I would also be really appreciative if you can to participate in a quick survey on the direction I take this project in the future https://cryptpad.fr/form/#/2/form/view/qo4DjEFxy-Hn07sg1ZOMe90xSujVaUelZKQbh6EidVk/

Thank you all for the positive reception and I am very appreciative of all of the responses I've received <3

( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ stay healthy !

[Rubbereon]

I don't think this survey's gonna be a good nor constructive idea imo and I don't know what you plan on doing with the information we send you because that doesn't seem to have anything to do with "menstruation, women’s health, and mental health". On top of that it's open to everybody, even men.

I replied through the form, but as another commenter pointed out, this is hardly something anybody thinks or cares about in their day to day life because it's irrelevant and hardly something to be celebrated outside of maybe mothers day. It is the only day where there is any "celebration of women as an identity" and it's not universal as some families don't celebrate mothers day.

[larvapuppy]

this is hardly something anybody thinks or cares about in their day to day life because it's irrelevant

I find your response really ignorant (possibly willfully so). Just because you don't personally think about or care about something, doesn't mean others don't. For example, those who are interested in gender theory are interested in how we as a society define gender, it's like... one of the main philosophical questions in that area of study. Especially with trans identities and gender diverse identities becoming more mainstream, people realized that the definition of a woman isn't as cut and dry as they might have thought. Even if you base it on sex it's not black and white, because mainstream ideas of male and female are regularly debunked by medical science.

hardly something to be celebrated outside of maybe mothers day.It is the only day where there is any "celebration of women as an identity" and it's not universal as some families don't celebrate mothers day.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women%27s_Day ?

Your logic that something being celebrated doesn't count unless everyone unanimously, universally celebrates it doesn't make much sense.

Also, why should women as a gender only be celebrated on mother's day? Examine why you think this. Women occupy many different roles and occupations outside of motherhood.

If you don't like the idea of this survey/project then fine, but keep it to yourself, as the reasons for doing this are pretty obvious if you think about it for longer than it takes to have a kneejerk reaction... this is really rude to the OP.

[ThunderPerfectWitchcraft]

Womenhood is after all, primarily a social structure category, and as such, open to interpretation. While I think it is okay that it seemingly ain't that relevant for you, @Rubbereon, it is very important for a good portion of our worlds population ;). And maybe your answer is also relevant for the OP, as it is also one view - beneath many others - in that whole matter.

[chilblands]

I don't think this survey's gonna be a good nor constructive idea imo and I don't know what you plan on doing with the information we send you because that doesn't seem to have anything to do with "menstruation, women’s health, and mental health". On top of that it's open to everybody, even men.

It's about destigmatising such topics that are not well discussed in mainstream culture. In many cultures menstruation, gender constructs and mental health are not talked about or kept "hush hush". Genital modification and mutilation is still practiced without consent (internationally), women's health, and mental health are dismissed, misunderstood or ignored. This survey in particular target gender constructs and hopefully open discussion for people who identify as a woman.

As for what I do with the answers, I simply publish what is submitted in the survey. The whole project is me asking different corners of the net for responses and gather additional resources for anyone else who want to learn more about different specific topics. I want this to be inclusive as possible, therefore men or anyone identify as male is invited. Big reason why inclusivity is important to me and for this project 1) the world is not only "for" men or women and 2) these topics affects everyone.

No matter who you identify as, you still interact with and form relationships with people of different identities. Empathy goes a long way to connect with or support people you care about. Plus, expanding your mind and learning is a great way to improve yourself as a human.

It's okay if you don't find the point, maybe it is not for you!

why should women as a gender only be celebrated on mother's day? Examine why you think this. Women occupy many different roles and occupations outside of motherhood.

(I couldn't have said it better myself!).

[Rubbereon]

I find your response really ignorant (possibly willfully so).

Your response to my concern by calling it a kneejerk reaction is just as ignorant as you refuse to understand or see my point of view. You immediately assumed bad faith out of my comment even though you made no effort to try to understand why I've said the survey might be harmful.

For starters, being proud of being a woman or a man is an awful mindset, best demonstrated by "the manosphere":
https://uwindsor.scholaris.ca/items/c696ff5b-43c9-4443-a100-86682a834965
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manosphere

Especially with trans identities and gender diverse identities becoming more mainstream

The reason there's even transphobia at all (which you brought up although my comment wasn't about thta) is because we place people in categories (which is also why we're still talking about the patriarchy). If gender as a concept was abolished transpeople would probably be living happier lives.

By placing people in categories we expect them to fit a certain role or standard. This is why I hate manhood and womanhood as concepts, with manhood being much worse in that regard with all the alpha, beta, sigma nonsense which probably contribute to otherize trans men a lot.

Your logic that something being celebrated doesn't count unless everyone unanimously, universally celebrates it doesn't make much sense.

This was more to point out how irrelevant in the day-to-day life womanhood is to most if not all people and although I forgot about the other holiday, that doesn't mean I think only of women as mothers. This is a pretty weird assumption to come to and really highlights how you viewed my comment as bad faith without actually thinking about any of it. Maybe I should have just posted the whole message I sent anonymously.

If you don't like the idea of this survey/project then fine, but keep it to yourself

They asked for feedback, I sent them my feedback. Nothing more, nothing less... if my feedback is "I think it's a bad idea" then it's up to them to decide what to do with it.

[ThunderPerfectWitchcraft]

As soon as you post openly in a forum, you might get reactions to what you write.
Personally, I don't think that your equation of the "pride" of man and women is justified; the consensus within social sciences tends towards the idea that the "pride" of marginalized groups is a different from "pride" of hegemonic groups (A position that I believe is well-founded, as "pride" necessarily differs as much as different constructed groups of people do; naturally, this doesn't mean that there is no possibility for harmful forms of "pride" within marginalized communities as well).

While I personally do sympathize with the no-gender movement, I'd like to stress that trans-people can only exist within a world where gender is dialectically constructed. A world without such constructed genders would be radically different from ours, and it is impossible to say who would be happier in such a world, as probably none of us would exist in our current form within it.

I believe that the reason for transphobia is mainly intolerance, that is - as a concept - of course linked to other concepts, among them gender. This doesn't mean that gender (or religions, or different languages and cultures) must be overcome and abolished - but that intolerance has to be overcome. And I believe that this includes tolerance towards those who define by a gender, if they are not in turn intolerant against others - and this isn't the case here.