A terrifying thought: What would you do if your loved one forgot you?

[Rubbereon]

After an accident or something like that they forget you were ever together.

It'd be rough if *I* suffered from amnesia and I was with a man (gay) who is into the same weird stuff I am because the reason I am who I am is due to my lived experience. If I ever forget everything then this would be more than mild confusion I would probably be out of my mind and I kind of wanted to ask this hypothetical once I meet someone I fall in love with.

What would you do? Doesn't matter your sexual orientation or whatever extraneous stuff you add on top of it, how do you think you would handle the situation?

[jP]

 the closest i ever got to this experience was when my great granny (whom i was really close with) got dementia and i wasn't allowed to see her anymore bc i was just a kid and it most likely would've broken my heart so see someone i loved not even know who i am.

i feel that if i had to handle this situation, i would care so much for them deeply, but act like either a casual acquaintance or a stranger, because if my loved one has amnesia and knows of it, i wouldn't want to break their heart knowing I'm someone they once shared a really close connection with, and all those cheerful memories are gone, the feelings are gone. best case scenario i could help rebuild our connection over time, but would they still be the same person with all their memories erased? given how much our memories shape us and change us, it would almost be like a new person for the both of us.

(this question has a lot of storybook potential, i appreciate it  )

[schlime9k]

I think I know what this question is inspired by...

If that were to happen to me, I'd try to reach out and let them know who I am / was to them at one point. Not to try and get back together, but to keep the knowledge that the relationship happened alive.

History matters, no matter how small it may be; events are all important to some people. And what if the relationship meant a lot to them? What if it was a really important learning experience? What if I was actually a terrible person and gave the partner trauma and they can't get over that trauma (forgetting a terrible event does NOT help heal trauma)?

Obviously there can be a multitude of extenuating circumstances that can change my Microsoft outlook on the hypothetical, but that's my opinion on what I would personally do. I wouldn't try to stay in their life unless that is what they wish (and I still have feelings for them) because the relationship at that point is over, but knowing what happened for a decent portion of your life is pretty important.

[Dan Q]

I recently finished reading The Husbands by Holly Gramazio and if you enjoy this thought experiment, you might enjoy that book. In the very first opening pages, a woman comes home from an evening out and there's a strange man in her house who claims to be her husband. Her phone has photos of them together, her friends back up the claim that they've been together for years, but she can't remember him at all.

Soon, it turns out that every time her husband goes into the attic of her flat a different husband comes out and her history gets re-written, forcing her to re-learn everything all over again. It's a wonderful debut novel: dark and funny at the same time. It's apparently supposed to be seen as a poking fun at app-based "swipe-left-swipe-right" dating culture, but I saw it as a woman growing to come to terms with and eventually adapt to a new reality in which she can "try on" different relationships (and in doing so, try on different self-identities).

(I've just realised that it's one of the books I've read this year that I haven't gotten around to blogging about, yet; d'oh! I should fix that!)