ADHD/Neurodiversity, how do you live with it?

[akyra00]

Hey! I've been diagnosed with ADHD as a kid but i never took any medication since my parents were strictly against it. That of course lead to some problems i had in my childhood, being seen as someone who has no empathy, bad grades, doesnt want to listen, is annoying and speaks way too much and way too loud, making everyone around me uncomfortable.

I am now 24 and about a year ago i started to look into this matter more again, since i realized it got worse again over time. I felt extremely scattered and couldn't concentrate for F's sake. Not only that, also did i realize im the Clown of the group, making everyone laugh, but as soon as im home, my social battery is as low as it could get, leading to some pretty depressing afternoons/nights, not being able to sleep, binge eating out of frustration, not doing stuff i would usually do (play video games, watch anime or cook) but instead doomscrolling on my Phone.

I had to make drastic changes. I gave it my all and tried my hardest to adapt to a new lifestyle, a lifestyle with way less social media, AI, and distractions but instead more healthy foods, sports and more self-engagement. I switched to a japanese Keitai Flipphone (Sharp Aquos 601SH) with only one third party app on it (whatsapp for messaging lol), deleting all my Social Media (except for youtube), doing more Sports and switching back to older consoles (PS2, Gamecube, Wii, DS etc), not listening to music on Spotify but instead on a MP3 Player or CD Player.

I have to say, i see a very positive effect so far    . Stuff tends to be more exciting, i get bored more often, but that leads to me being more active, which again, helps me alot.

I also decided to take on therapy again, and the doctor prescriped me ADHD-Medication, based on METHYLPHENIDATHYDROCHLORID (DAMN WHAT A WORD RIGHT    )

It definetely does help me a little (The dosis is still low, 10mg, but it will only increase within weeks, i got a plan from the doctor, it should be at 30mg a day in 2 weeks), but the biggest side effect i get so far is having low to zero appetite?

Although the dosis so far is pretty low, i do feel more focused, want to listen to people actually and care more? My Girlfriend really likes that, but also wants me to know that i dont have to take any medications for her to love me.

If you have ADHD (or any other sort of Neurodiversity!!) how do you live with it? Did you change the way you live because of it? And if so, what for example? Thanks for reading !! 

[kenaonline]

 Hey!

I was diagnosed extremely late (at 27), and in the new country I live in.
It was a super weird time because I had this misdirected anger at family and friends for not 'catching it earlier' and wondered how my life could be different if I were diagnosed as a child

One kind of good thing about the lateness is that I have managed to create these incredibly weird lifehacks that got me where I am today. I'm currently in my 2nd year of a PhD which, if you listen to everyone else, is impossible with ADHD. Still, I kinda love my brain now (when it works). I am also on the same medication as you, and it was such a nice break. I always described it as previously my brain was like all the TVs on at the same time in the electronics store, and now most of them have turned off.

Saying that, I still struggle, I have weeks where I just feel paralysed, and it feels like more neurotypical folk don't understand, and put it down to laziness, etc. That can be really shitty.

all of this is to say, we've got you and we understand. 

[starbreaker]

I've been living with (level one) autism my whole life, but didn't get diagnosed until I was in my early 40s. It's been a ride. First, I had to suppress certain behaviors (like talking to anybody who would listen about whatever I was into at the time) in order to "not be weird". Nobody actually bothered to teach me how to make and keep friends; the adults around me figured that if I could teach myself to read books when I was four I should be able to figure out how to read people and relate to them on my own, too. That didn't work out as well as they thought it might, but who needs people as friends? A cat is fine, too.

Of course, this was partly because I was a kid in the 1980s. If you were autistic enough to be diagnosed back then, you were probably autistic enough to be institutionalized. I was just the weird, nerdy kid who was reading Stephen King and Michael Moorcock when he was 10 and had trolled the school shrink by talking about how he might do himself in using a scenario memorized from Bulfinch's Mythology. I got into a lot of fights, too, because this was long before "zero tolerance" and my father had my back as long as I didn't throw the first punch.

I'm still not particularly sociable, and I certainly don't talk to anybody but my wife about shit I'm into; that poor lady is probably heartily sick of all the little details I've noticed in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. But, contrary to RFK Jr's ignorant opinions, I work for a living, I pay taxes, I'm a homeowner, I kissed girls and liked it, I've been kissed by boys (and would have liked it if they had asked first), I've written poems, I've published novels, I've played in bands and orchestras, I've traveled abroad, I spent two weeks in Paris speaking nothing but French, I've given readings at the World Fantasy Convention, and I've even played baseball. I'd rather be lifting weights, though; I only ever want to compete against the man I used to be, and I'm a decent shot with a .38 revolver and a .30 lever-action rifle, too.

I never received "support" as an autistic man. I don't even know what "support" would look like for an autistic man my age, who was diagnosed in middle age, but I suspect that I would find a neurotypical person's notion of "support" intolerably infantilizing; I'm a New Yorker, a veteran of a thousand psychic wars, and I wear my independence like a crown.

I live with autism the way I live with being left-handed or having blue eyes or or being nearsighted or only being 5'7" or being ACAB (assigned Catholic at birth). It's part of the hand life dealt me. I didn't ask to have been dealt into the game, but now that I'm seated at the table I mean to play my cards to the fucking hilt, even if my spread of aces and eights is the Dead Man's Hand. (And don't forget the Joker!)

I'd say God help anybody who gets in my way, but I suspect God knows better than to get in my way himself; he saw what I did to the Buddha when I met him on a midnight stroll through Manhattan. (If you meet the Buddha, kill him. If you meet God, kick His ass too. Don't let phantasms assert squatters' rights over your mind.)

[candycanearter07]

Oh cool, you're left handed too??

Ok, so to be clear, I haven't OFFICIALLY been diagnosed with autism, adhd, or anything beyond a generalized anxiety syndrome and speech impediment (lisp). But, I feel like it's a fair guess to say that I am deeply autistic and maybe adhd too. As for how I deal with it... well, for now, it's not T O O much of an issue? Like, my parents continually drilled into me to complete assignments and how missing one is a grave issue, so I can USUALLY get stuff done? It's mostly 1. really big assigments that span a long time where you have to pace it yourself and 2. studying without an assignment to complete that blast me. I also have a raspberry pi screen on my nightstand that displays a calendar and I think that helps at least a LITTLE? so that. And also, I find pomodoro timers helpful.

[small_cypress]

I was diagnosed with ADHD 20+ years ago, but I was also diagnosed another mental health condition I turned out not to have at all and was way over-medicated. I also have poor hunger cues and chronic insomnia before I started taking stimulant meds for ADHD, so I basically just didn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time during my teenage years, hardly ate, and my teachers were convinced I had an eating disorder.

I tapered off everything at 18, and was convinced my ADHD was a misdiagnosis. I also started drinking at 18, and in retrospect can see it was self-medicating the noisiness of the world. It's loud and distracting in my head!

I quit drinking 4 years ago, and the worst of my ADHD symptoms were in full force. I have chosen to not pursue medication at this time, even though I know there are non-stimulant medications these days. I have notebooks and use Notion to organize my life. I minmize inputs (notifications, screen time, etc) and am off most social media. I am learning to live with my ADHD with the good and the bad, and enjoying letting myself start and stop hobbies and obsess over things and move onto the next. The trick, for me, is to have really good systems so I can uphold my commitments to others and not feel like a mess.

[musicobsessed107]

I've been officially diagnosed with autism as a toddler (who was born partially deaf due to a fluid and wax impaction in my ears that was removed at the age of 2, if that helps) circa January 2009 according to my medical records and I'm almost certain I have combined type ADHD, but was never diagnosed or even tested for that (even though the signs couldn't have been any clearer when I was growing up and it probably doesn't help that I'm AFAB).

And the more I look back on my life and educate myself about ADHD and autism, the more skeptical I become of my autism diagnosis (my mom even said that the psychiatrist who diagnosed me didn't even think I actually had autism, but he gave me the diagnosis anyways since I did need speech therapy as a toddler as a result of said hearing impairment from my ears being all clogged up for so long and thought it would help me there) and wonder if it was all really just ADHD all along. Now of course, there is the possibility that I could have both, but given the circumstances behind my diagnosis in the first place along with the fact that I have much more in common with the ADHD side of things, it makes sense as to why I feel this way and have my doubts.

I fear that part of my life may have been a lie all along. 16 and a half years of lies and of nobody in my life truly understanding why I am the way that I am in the first place due to a likely misdiagnosis. Maybe I'm just overthinking this, I don't know. But what I do know is that regardless of the case, I want answers and to better understand who I truly am as a person.

I've also been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder in January 2016 at the age of 9 years old. I'm surprised it took me that long to be diagnosed with that, given how I've been an anxious child since at least the age of 4 (if not before then, though it had started becoming noticeably apparent by that age).

[AY38910]

Luckily my ADHD got medicated early* and is mostly gone now. Not fully because the meds from that time weren't as good as the ones today, but I got used to it by now. I also have Autism wich caused me many problems at high school (namely constant sensory overload and thus stress problems and lack of concentration and blah blah blah) but once I left it (because I managed to (barely) pass lol) my grades went back up incredibly quick as soon as i was in a class that people were silent in. I might be the luckiest user in this thread :P

*Actually late for what was usual in my country (I was 6, 1 year older than average) but much earlier than the above users (at least I was a child). And actually received my meds on time...

[fuwaka]

I was diagnosed later in life at age 20 with autism, and age 22 with ADHD. I’m 24 now, and am currently working up the courage to try and go back on my ADHD meds.

I handle my autism and ADHD kinda differently because for me personally my autism is far more impactful and debilitating. I live a pretty strict life offline social media, I have for about the past 6-7 years. I pretty much live on my iPad, PC, and laptop for my special interests and socialization.

I recently joined this site (yippie!!) as a way to combat the modern woes I have with social media and also to escape other problematic art communities. I use a korean flip phone as vintage + handheld technology is a special interest of mine. This limits the apps and also gives me a sensory + fixation to play with. I do have a US based iPhone for practical reasons though, still no social media beyond Tumblr is on there. (I recently joined Tumblr this year though, I’ve enjoyed posting my art there so far!)

I have compression headphones to deal with my auditory sensory issues. I wear them 75% of my day as it’s been really helpful. I also carry a little sensory bag or purse with me, with my trinkets, sensory stuff like hand sanitizer and stim toys, and wired earbuds. I’ve been managing well up until recently. Seems like me trying adderall again isn’t the worst idea in the world ( ´_ゝ`)   

[Twigz0n]

I got diagnosed pretty early on in my life by some miracle (I am a girl). But I feel like I haven’t noticed how my autism affects my life and how I socialise until maybe the last two or three years.. As a kid I always knew that I was “different” but I didn’t understand the ways in which I was different for a long time. I think I also thought this because obviously I didn’t know when I was acting odd socially, and if anyone pushed back against me I just assumed it was regular bullying without realising that it was because of my autistic traits and lack of socialisation. That and I was in a school full of neurodivergent children who were also struggling to navigate social interaction. Which in turn led to the strange way I communicated with people.

I’ve been noticing more and more that the way I go about socialising and noticing specific social cues both online and offline has been confusing me and the people around me. I think I’ve just gotten so used to the way I go about things that I never really questioned what I was even doing/saying until I became more educated and aware of how neurodivergent people differ socially. I started to notice more often that I have confused people by the way I communicate my thoughts and ideas. Or that they just didn’t make any sense at all, or I spoke at the wrong time, failed to read the room etc. It’s something I’m slowly trying to relearn and understand as I go on in life. I think I’ll probably always struggle with socialising just because of how long I’ve been living like this.

Social aspects aside, I do struggle with sensory processing, however the degree of which I struggle varies greatly depending on a number of factors. Usually when I’m in a low in mood or have already been overwhelmed by sensory stimuli I start to become very closed off and quiet and get this very strong desire to not be seen by other people. I think the worst of my senses comes from the feeling that I’m being looked at, or simply just making eye contact, even with people I know. It just always feels so uncomfortable for me, and like my eyes are going to catch fire if I look directly at someone’s eyes for too long (Sounds kind of funny written down though lol). I also find that as the day goes on my sensory issues worsen, possibly due to tiredness.

In terms of auditory processing, I wear just normal headphones almost all hours of the day, with or without music (usually without music if I’m outside because I start to dissociate too much). I just felt awkward in big bulky ear defenders and I can still somewhat hear people when I wear just my regular headphones. They numb out most of the sounds and noises that irritate me anyway. When it comes to stimming I usually just fidget with whatever, from stationary to toys or just with my hands. I try to control when I do more obvious stims like flapping hands and whole body movements in public, but I’ve found myself slipping more recently. Not entirely sure why, maybe it’s just general stress. Who knows

[devils]

I have had schizophrenia since I was a child. I know it's fairly different from ADHD, but I completely relate to the medication thing. Lord knows that I wouldn't be able to function without my meds ahahah.

As for how I live with it...? Well, not super great. But, it's been worse.

[alienhospital]

I have level 2 autism and ADHD. I actually just got my ADHD meds perscribed today and they work great and I'm so glad to have something that helps me focus.

I was diagnosed autistic at 12. I wasn't diagnosed early because I started talking at 9 months (even though I never learned to crawl or walk until way too late) and everyone thinks if you can talk your autism must not be that bad 🙃🙃 But as I grew up it became apparent I struggle significantly with most aspects of daily living. I cant add numbers that don't end in 5 or 0, for example, and I cant really socialize in real life, I dont have any friends but I do have amazing friends online and a wonderful partner. Most of my life is lived online and I'm on disability for autism and psychiatric illnesses.

I also have dissociative identity disorder which complicates things further. I was diagnosed last year, at age 23. I have one of the more severe types - polyfragmented or complex DID - and it honestly suuuuuuuucks. Amnesia/memory loss is a signficant part of its presentation, and so that combined with ADHD means I basically remember nothing, ever.

I'm very lucky because I have a caregiver who advocates for me and fights for me when I need her to.