Fortunately / Unfortunately

[Memory]

Unfortunately, the lack of conflict in the story as of late hath summoned a portal to the netherworld domain, home of demons and demonesses!

[Cattafang]

Fortunately, the wax moose was prepared to take a chomp out of some demons now that it had gotten help for its friend-eating crisis!

[debleb]

unfortunately, the leader of the netherworld demons is a man-eating-wax-moose-eating-moose

[Memory]

Fortunately, the Man-Eating-Wax-Moose-Eating-Moose-Leader-of-the-Netherworld-Demons-and-Demonesses was, in fact, the moose's ex girlfriend. And thus a leaky puddle on the other side of the globe. Leaving the Netherworld demons and demonesses divided and without leadership!

[debleb]

unfortunately, they unionise and seize the means of destroying the world, becoming stronger than ever before!

[Memory]

Fortunately, having obtained such incredible power without leadership, the liberated demons turn their aspirations away from earth and resolve to overthrow the Satan Monarchy and create a Socialist Republic of Hell. They look to the wax moose (who’s name is Sebastian but has started going by Waxie) as instrumental in the deposition of the former demon leader. They ask if he will lead the demonic revolutionaries into battle, promising him all the spoils of the underworld.

[debleb]

unfortunately, waxie refuses, not wanting to take the spoils of the underworld from those that rightfully deserve them the demons

[Memory]

fortunately (for the denizens of the underworld), the wax people, who have now recovered in numbers after waxie's onslaught aeons ago, offer their services as a rather large army under one condition: they get to eat waxie after the battle.

the spokesperson for the demons hesitantly agrees...

[Kallistero]

Unfortunately, we wouldn't know the outcome of the battle, as a swarm of wax-eating crabs closed the underworld portal behind all the demons and took their new moose-shaped feast to their city of seashells.

[AnIzzi0t]

fortunately, the wax eating crabs just wanted to invite everyone to brunch