Haiku practice

[Trench_Man]

Would anyone wanna try making Haikus? I think it'd be a fun writing exercise

The traditional rules of a haiku are that it has to be short and follow the "5-7-5" format, meaning the first line has five syllables, the second line has seven, and the final back to five, not rhyme, and be spoken in the present tense with regards to a brief and mundane moment in nature or in life. Here I will start with one I just made!

An egg in a fridge

A pale hand withdraws the egg

Crack! Time for omelets.

I look forward to seeing what y'all come up with!

[thefanciestpigeon]

ooh yes, haiku are always a form I have struggled with (simplicity is really hard)! keep in mind that the syllables rule was an adaptation for English (and only one possible way to do that) rather than an original part of the form, so you don't need to get too hung-up on sticking to it exactly! I was taught specifically that a more vital part of the form was there being some sort of "turn" in the middle, but ymmv.

I'm very interested in the internet as an environment/location, so I'm gonna try writing some about spaces on the internet!


star-snow running down
rests on the poets under grinning moon-
living on a small screen.


Life grows here too
true nature in houses as in anthills-
vine growing in computer room.

(yes I did actually have a vine growing from outside into my house for a bit!)


people gather in blue
collecting wasps and rushing strange beasts
building family here.


which feels a bit weird to do because the form is so associated with nature, but also I like to remember that humans (and the things we make) are a part of nature too, we just keep forgetting that.

and a Haibun! because I like them! :> (a prose poem followed by a haiku, originally written to be a sort of travelogue/record of a trip somewhere but it doesn't have to be about that)


There are lights, there are large motions, and still objects changing shapes I have known since childhood, since before the blanket-ceiling let up and I stopped learning meaning from mind. Where a mask was put on and the day went out and we could become some other place, before the world was made thinking. here it is again, they play the way we used to, running on sandcastle-time, on the plenty of chaos, the human pulse that pushed hands dipped in red chalk against the wall. There is a thin black road and motionless movement swimming murmurations across me. I have a mask again, I have the sky, now all-coloured now changing shape and below me, now decided by hands I know I could have known were this a different life. Rain falls down but doesn't pass my head, walk the small trails laid out by those before, there are oceans here, I know, there are palaces.

long down the images play
shadow-birds projected in my mind
red glow as sun gets to eyes.

[goat]

eponymous goat
quill betwixt their humble hooves
droppin dat haiku <3

[fablefound]

@thefanciestpigeon i love these omg!

i've also really struggled with the short, tight, and quite simple formatting of haiku. similar to how flash fiction has always eluded me. but in honour of pigeon's really fun approach to the internet as nature, lemme try something...

blue light beating down
circadian disturber
shows me homecoming

sidenote, circadian disturber would be a great band name 

[kringle]

rain on the rooftop
tissues cluttering my desk
winter in my lungs


i am SICK 

realtalk tho this is a super fun thread idea. i LOVE reading everyones poetry  !!!! and i can see myself dropping a haiku in here every now and then

I was taught specifically that a more vital part of the form was there being some sort of "turn" in the middle, but ymmv.

oh interesting, can you elaborate on this? what do you mean by sort of turn?

also i've never heard of a haibun before, i loved yours! it feels so magical to read

[thefanciestpigeon]

oh interesting, can you elaborate on this? what do you mean by sort of turn?

also i've never heard of a haibun before, i loved yours! it feels so magical to read

Most haiku have two parts. Put two images together to create harmony or contrast, emotion and expansion of ideas. One image can appear on one line; the other image in two lines (either the first two lines or the last two). There is usually a pause, or kireji, at the end of either the first or the second line.

-from the haiku Canada education resources page

the kireji is also sometimes translated as the "cutting word" and isn't really a thing in English so some poets choose to use punctuation (like an em dash or ellipses) to represent it, but you don't have to! it can serve to highlight the turn if you do use it.

I was taught that the turn or twist is pretty open-ended. it can be directly a subversion of the expectation set by the start of the poem, for example from the Haibun Oku no Hosomichi by Bashō:

Even a thatched hut
May change with a new owner
Into a doll’s house.

or by George Bowering:

yellow maple leaf
falls from branches nearest the clouds
glides off gun barrel

but it can also be a less dramatic contrast or harmony of images, or a change in focus, it is pretty flexible.

the rains of summer;
somebody on the boat,
smoke rising

contrasts the image of rain in the first line with that of smoke/fire in the last line, for example

five miles round
the kite appears and soars,
at the low tide

by Taigi

sky/flying imagery with low/water imagery

I am by no means an expert on haiku, I am a form poetry nerd who took a class about them a while ago but who doesn't really focus on them or write them usually, this is just what I remember from being taught about them, but I don't know that much. I also don't speak Japanese and so can't say a ton about how the form works in its original language. 

if you like Haibun, you might want to look into other haiku variations such as renga, senryu or tanka! actually, the renga would be cool to do as a forum activity like this since iirc it is a collaborative form.

hopefully that made sense. hit me up if you ever wanna talk about form poetry it's my favourite thing ever!

[haumeaGeth]

In the night, I sit
The fear stirs deeply inside
Writhing in my gut

My bed calls to me sweetly
Fear says there's no tomorrow


In the morn, I sit
Wreathed in light, basking in warmth
The fear forgotten

I take my meals slow'ly
A small triumph over fear

A rokku renku. Feel free to add on!

[arachnoFlora]

restful in sun beams
a cat knows serenity
until night's return


I like haiku, but as expressed previously in this thread, I find they're challenging.


clung to dry red brick,
still, yet vibrant carapaced,
dead grasshopper falls


They've very fun when you don't strive for perfection, though.


crows pour through the sky
on wires, roofs, trees; a murder
wind to replace them

[sleepyhare]

Omg I recognize so many people in this thread! Hiii, I like everyone's poems :))

Here's my haiku:

   The cat's head falls, weight-
   ed, patient for another
   lacey pulse of noon

It used to be this...

   Her head fell slow, weight-
   ed, patient, for another
   perfect day to end.

...but I felt inspired to change it from reading your guys' descriptions of the form, how it's present-tense, about a small moment, with a turn in the imagery. The newer version feels more vivid to me-- thanks, all!

[haumeaGeth]

Blazing exit sign,
Maze of heartless brick and stone,
Where is the toilet?


Plastic on plastic
Tapestry of industry
My Gameboy, broken


The taste of vomit
in the back of my throat, boxed
in, for hours more

[sloth_army1]

This was meant to be
two haikus for you and me
but as it is read

The first five lines said
are more than two sets of three
It's a limerick

[dogbrain]

it's been so long since i've written poetry of any kind, this seems like a fun exercise :-D


bubbling ichor oozes
from drooling grins on my arm
purifying sentinels


oh faineant feline
lounging in sun-drunk bliss
how i envy!


here our roots
assimilate warm earth, skin-to-skin
a celebration


everyone's haikus in this thread are so wonderful!!! i may drop in here now and then to reread them and maybe even drop my own

[Seryndelle]

I’ve been getting really into haikus lately, so I’m thrilled to see a thread like this! Here’s my favourite of the two I’ve done so far:

Haiku #1: Cloud

A funeral shroud—
Folks below resigned to grey.
Above: blue, blue, blue.

I’ve learnt that haikus often capture a moment of epiphany: some sudden realisation or observation on the part of the poet that practically demands to be shared. Haiku #1 above obeys this rule (although I wasn’t aware   of it at the time I wrote it). I’ve since written a second haiku out of boredom, but I’m not sure I like it quite as much. I’ll share it anyway so that you can make your own mind up.

Haiku #2: The Strange Case of the Exam

They peer, faced inward—
Searching through the fog to find
That which is hidden

This one demands some context. I wrote this while bored out of my mind as I sat invigilating an exam on Jekyll and Hyde. If you’ve read the book, you may be aware of two things that came to mind as I wrote this: first, that Jekyll is a secretive character (this was actually what the students had to discuss in their exam paper), and second, that there’s a heck of a lot of fog in the novella. It’s used as a motif, and it seems to obscure the facts, making it harder for Utterson, the character trying to solve the mystery, to get to the bottom of things. I hope that this context makes it easier to see what I was going for with this second haiku—but like I say, I much prefer the first one I wrote

[ThunderPerfectWitchcraft]

Pidgeon on a roof
sun blinds through stained window
she flies into void.