A regard on gender identity

[siph]

Update: After looking a bit, I think I might have brought up the wrong arguments considering how they are shared in common with transphobes. I apologize if I have angered anyone for bring them back to the table again, even if it was accidental. While I do still think that one day Gender will be eliminated, however, considering how used we are to gender this isn't the time to advocate for the abolishment for it. But now knowing that Gender is a thing that we invented and not discovered I am now even more accepting towards alternate systems to fix our problems with the current one. The topic will still remain open.

I believe that most gender theorists would agree with the assertion that is abolition of gender entirely is undesirable. As a non binary person i find it a bit confusing* but I can recognize that many people are strongly drawn to their gender.
Here's a quote from Julia Serano's book Whipping Girl

While I do believe that all transgender people have a stake in the same
political fight against those who fear and dismiss gender diversity and
difference in all of its wondrous forms, I do not believe that we are
discriminated against in the same ways and for the exact same reasons. I have
found that the ways people reacted to me back when I identified as a mostly
closeted male crossdresser, or as a bigendered queer boy, were very different
from one another and yet again different from the way people react to me now
that I am an out transsexual woman. The focus on “transgender” as a one-size-
fits-all category for those who “transgress binary gender norms” has
inadvertently erased the struggles faced by those of us who lie at the
intersection of multiple forms of gender-based prejudice. And while I agree
with many of the points “shattering-the-gender-binary”-themed books regularly
make, I have come to the realization that they only tell part of the story.

In the book Serano talks about her experiences as a trans woman being strongly linked to her identification with her gender. She also claims that older theorists such as Kate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg argued for an abolition of gender. While I can't comment on Bornstein since I haven't read their work yet, I feel as though Serano misrepresents Feinberg a bit, albeit accidentally.
In this quote from Feinberg's book, Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue, ze talks about the movements to abolish gender expression:

The way in which individuals express themselves is a very important part of who they are. It is not possible to force all people to live outside of femininity and masculinity. Only androgynous people live comfortably in that gender space. There's no social compulsion powerful enough to force anyone else to dwell there. Trans people are an example of the futility of this strategy.

So we see that even hir views were of gender freedom rather than abolition.

Coming back to Serano: I think this quote, again from the same book, is the summation of this view of gender liberation:

I argue that, rather than focusing on“shattering the gender binary”—a strategy that invariably pits gender-conforming and non-gender-conforming people against one another—we work to challenge all forms of gender entitlement (i.e., when a person privileges their own perceptions, interpretations, and evaluations of other people’s genders over the way those people understand themselves). After all, the one thing that all forms of sexism share—whether they target females, queers, transsexuals, or others—is that they all begin with placing assumptions and value judgments onto other people’s gendered bodies and behaviors.

Serano talks about challenging systems of power and systems of oppression which benefit from the bifurcation of the sexes, rather than implicating individuals for the failures of a system. Feinberg was a communist who worked for queer and workers solidarity against systems of oppression. This feeling is pervasive in the realm of gender theory.

*Of course I am cognizant of other non binary people who have a better understanding of gender than me. There are many ways of being non binary, as is evident in the flag itself.