does any feel detached from being able to talk to people on the internet

[holly]

okay so i guess like its my fault i feel this way because some videogames have chat systems and stuff, but like idk me being autistic makes those conversations feel not real like people feel more distant and feel like they arent even interested in u rather interested in the game. 

i have been playing webfishing and its really neat to have a semi-popular chat focused game after so long since atleast I have personally been witness to. but broooo theres like server lag at constant moments because i think its peer to peer, no fault to the developer but like the chats are inconsistent and feel like its coded like a UTP protocal, also everyone wants to show me their enormous fish but its like... guys the point is to talk and make memories, not literally max everything out in the fishing game. 

i used discord for like 6 years with my friends from highschool and i accumulated way too many discord servers that i never ever figured out how to feel great using it to find friends because it feels like some enormous gap from group main chat #furry-general to talking to a single person and accumulate a relationship. maybe i just have bad social anxiety and feel like its insulting to message ppl randomly.

thank u i hope i am using this chat correctly, i have been lurking for months, i dig yall.

[ThunderPerfectWitchcraft]

The way people interact with each other is very interesting, and there is still some uncertainty about it. And things get even more complicated if a medium is used as transmitter for communication.

There are media technologies that are focused on emulating a "realistic" conversation (imagine video telephones) - their technical advance is directed to disappear and to make the distance between people practically disappear.

But on the other hand, a big part of the prevalent media technology is directed to converting the human experience into the medium itself, making the former, the human, basically disappear. When you chat within a game, the human at the other end of the line practically becomes a part of the game. And this is even more true for the "social media platforms" - using them is not about interacting with people, it is about interacting with the platform* - the more complicated and advanced these platforms are, the more they take priority over the humans that are behind them.

If you long for personal contacts, I recommend searching for real life contacts - join interest groups in your town, go to events, invite old (or new) friends over. If this doesn't work out for you, I recommend using "simple" media that encourage direct communication: Letters, Telephone, E-Mail. There is a pen-pal ring active here.


-------------------

*I recently talked to a person who tried to find a partner using dating platforms. She ended up neglecting her whole social environment over it, farming, buying and trading diamonds within a virtual realm. She spent over a year there, probably often chatting with bots most of her time, and ended up alone; the whole thing was never directed to give her what she wanted - instead, it was directed to make her a part of the platform and keep her there.

[holly]

But on the other hand, a big part of the prevalent media technology is directed to converting the human experience into the medium itself, making the former, the human, basically disappear. When you chat within a game, the human at the other end of the line practically becomes a part of the game. And this is even more true for the "social media platforms" - using them is not about interacting with people, it is about interacting with the platform* - the more complicated and advanced these platforms are, the more they take priority over the humans that are behind them.

this is sort of devaluing experiences dude, when i was a kid it was so easy to talk to randos on minecraft and we would exit the platform and i could direct message them on a different platform. maybe this is the exact experience i am after, like i get your artsy experience talk, but like you cant define humans for me. i want to talk to a human thru odd means. ive never ever understood modern social media platforms, it always seemed so distant in terms of interacting with real people, nothing as personal as like randomly queueing up with an interesting personality. why are you on this platform if you devalue the experience of talking to someone on the internet so much.

[ThunderPerfectWitchcraft]

Oh, I've no intention of belittling your experiences and memories - and I'm sorry if that is the impression I've made.

What I attempted is to describe why people feel alienated and isolated when using social media (or multiplayer videogames, that often function similar in regards to communication nowadays) to interact - a thing perceived as a common problem by many. The mechanics I've described surely aren't absolute (and will never be. Nothing is.), but they are at least a possible explanation, to some degree backed up by humanistic theory, and I've got no better. If you manage it to establish human interaction, it is - in my opinion - not with, but basically against the platforms.

This is (again, this is my opinion) true to this board as a medium. It is no ideal mean of communication, but I regard it as better when it comes to enabling digital communication then many of the other modern media channels available. For me, it is a compromise. The best interaction I've had online over the last years was via E-Mail - but this comes with the problem of a limited interconnectability: You can hardly find new contacts by only using it, and attempts to solve it always invites the problems that also apply for things like this board.

[holly]

Im not sure, sorry for coming off as rude, maybe my issue is that ive never understood or was introduced to internet forums -esque platforms. its always been easier to like not have communication issues thru longform text for me as my autism makes it difficult for me to click into like a conversation fully. So i've been joking with my friends that they should reach out to me thru email because i just do not want to interact with the mental game of when or what to text someone, but like i think its kind of a rare experience to actually meet someone that wants to talk thru email lol.
idk i guess i express discomfort because of like i havent been forced to interact with people on the internet, like being randomly talked to in a chat and being forced to interact with them to not make them disappointed, like how as an adult i need to like actually seek out friends :( which like idk makes it really easy to fall into an invisible slump, especially when my mind feels like its perfectly okay without social interaction.

[ThunderPerfectWitchcraft]

Don't worry, no harm done ;p.
If you and your friends already joked about it, why not take them by the word? Also, direct chats might be easier to cope with than group-channels (can't tell if you are already doing this).

Seeking out for friends and contacts is a verge to go over, especially if you aren't much used to it any more. I'm pretty sure it is always worth to force yourself to attempt it.