Let's talk about online arguments

[prismatic]

a very good friend of mine told me to always pick and choose my battles. such a thing is so obvious, right? you'd think so, but it helps a world of a lot when it comes to online arguments/debate/conflicts/whatever. sometimes some of them aren't worth the time and effort to get into and it'd be headache to engage otherwise. i really only "argue" if there's a bigger point or benefit to me behind it, otherwise why expend the energy?

[Junebug]

The summary version: the absence of in-person interaction lowers the stakes of hostility and strips away the ability to pick up on non-verbal communication, any discussion of import requires a minimum matching of premises about reality, without which any fruitful discussion is impossible, frequently people believe that those with wrong beliefs are also evil, and people typically want to hurt those they hate, consequently the people who hate each other have an opportunity to fight verbally very easily on the web.

I don't believe people are worse on the internet, I believe the internet removes inhibitions toward this behavior, and makes visible the real feelings people have had all along, but are not shown to our faces in our day to day lives.

Unsurprisingly omni-blocking has arisen as the solution to all of this. You read something you don't like? Just remove it! This has had some pretty bad consequences in the long run though, where people get into a habit of not actually thinking about counterarguments or actively ignore truths that threaten their beliefs, without making any plans to think it through later even if they decide they can't do it then. This is why critical thinking is something trained; it's not the default way people exist in the world.

[Semper]

I definitely get into more arguments one on one in meatspace than I do online, pretty big ones too. The thing about being online for me is that the more anonymous I can be, the more placid I feel. I use anonymity to lurk, and if no-one knows who I am or if I am even there I choose not to engage. since the stakes are next to non-existent. But yeah, I have gotten in way more arguments and debates one on one with family and friends and even strangers I meet at parties or events than I have online. Not to say that I haven't gotten into arguments online, because I had. I used twitter from 2013-2022, and it's nigh impossible to avoid discourse if you're non-white/queer/neurodivergent etc. And if this counts as online, I have gotten in arguments with irl friends through text/voice call.

I now use my website to share my opinions, and though I embrace discussions and differing opinions through the comment section of my blog/garden posts, I have moderation turned on, and I refuse to publish comments that include any insults directed towards me or any other commenter, no matter how mild.

[cami02]

I used to argue A LOT online as a teen on tumblr and facebook. A lot was going on in my life at the time, and arguing with strangers online was one of the many ways I released stress. It wasn't healthy for me or the people I argued with.

Now as an adult I never argue on the internet because it's a waste of time. Instead I simply block them, ignore them or if it's a comment on one of my posts I delete the comments (or turn them off entirely). Now, I don't post much at all anywhere and don't have a following - mostly strangers have just happened to stumble over my few posts.

One of the cons of social media is definitely how anonymous people can be - they hide behind a screen and aren't afraid of harassing complete strangers.
If you have good intentions, being anonymous online isn't bad in itself, but if you're using it only to harass other people for no reason then it's bad.

[Misanthropic Monster™]

I've not had proper flame war type arguments since the late '90s early '00s back when I frequented EZboards and other forums. I had much more free time back then - nowadays I have too much going on to care and as I got older, I realised that most people are toxic, horrible and bigoted so nothing I say will make a difference - so if anyone offends me now I just block/report.

The most toxicity I experience these days is when playing Valorant or CSGO - but even then you can just mute/report people. There's very rarely a reason to argue with anyone online... pointless and a waste of time.

Life is already challenging enough, with most of it being barely tolerable, that I don't want to add to the stress with online keyboard fights haha.

[Paprika]

My online life revolved around one concept since the very beginning at it helped me a lot of time with a simple sentence.

"DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS"

Some people are malicious, there's bait, flaming, rageposting, etc. You shouldn't feel like you "owe" those people something. Click the cross on top right of the creen, shut off ypur computer, walk outside, do something you like, breath, do something calm or relaxing. You're better than this. Don't give them what they want. Starved trolls will do weird shit for attention, but don't give it to them. They'll move somewhere else quickly. Don't feed trolls.