Melons critiquing and helping each other

[urgellx]

Hello. I was wondering if someone would be inclined to provide feedback on a structured drawing i did some time back. (Or even provide
their own work to be criticized !)

The drawing is an hommage to Shigeru Mizuki and Shintaro Kago as a part of an exhibition on Japan.

The full drawing(831kb)

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The close shots (645kb,633kb,630kb)

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It's in a more traditional style and has more meaningful elements and references so it should be easier to dissect and to find aspects to
improve.

Hope you have a good evening (or day).

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Yeah much more balanced now, The lettering is super cool too.

I haven't replied quickly but nice to see that i am improving, thanks !

[e-]

Shintaro Kago is probably my favorite contemporary illustrator. A homage to him is a tall order, but helpful as a direction for criticism.


First thing to note here is that the perspective is still accurate. No matter how crazy the subject matter, there's always crystal clear fore, middle, and background. The anatomy is also accurate.
The other important element is that it's deceptively simple. Kagos' faces are more minimal than the average mangaka. Despite the clutter, he simplifies anywhere and everywhere he can to keep things intelligible.
A phrase that always comes up in art is "Learn the rules before you break them" And there's a lot of merit to it. In your piece, there's a composition and I can pick out recognizable things, but the fact that there's no sense of space, movement, or anything interacting with anything else gives it much more of a collage feel.

I'd say work on form a lot. Cast shadows, three dimensional objects, Objects protruding and receding from the viewer.

Sorry if this is too spicy, I'll post here sometime and u can roast me.

[urgellx]

Shintaro Kago is probably my favorite contemporary illustrator. A homage to him is a tall order, but helpful as a direction for criticism.


First thing to note here is that the perspective is still accurate. No matter how crazy the subject matter, there's always crystal clear fore, middle, and background. The anatomy is also accurate.
The other important element is that it's deceptively simple. Kagos' faces are more minimal than the average mangaka. Despite the clutter, he simplifies anywhere and everywhere he can to keep things intelligible.
A phrase that always comes up in art is "Learn the rules before you break them" And there's a lot of merit to it. In your piece, there's a composition and I can pick out recognizable things, but the fact that there's no sense of space, movement, or anything interacting with anything else gives it much more of a collage feel.

I'd say work on form a lot. Cast shadows, three dimensional objects, Objects protruding and receding from the viewer.

Sorry if this is too spicy, I'll post here sometime and u can roast me.

Hi ! This wasn't meant to replicate Kago's 3d-ness ! Just the subject and stylized with other references as a patchwork. The woman for
example represents the modern soft Disney style of character. I didn't try to replicate him at all since i'm not fit to do that without
proper training. It was mainly used as a base to draw from for the rest of the drawing.

It's not too spicy either since it's a pertinent criticism to make and i'm happy that someone else is interested in posting their art here.

Have a good evening/day !

[urgellx]

Sorry if this is too spicy, I'll post here sometime and u can roast me.

I remember what you said ! It would be interesting to see which one you would choose, especially since you have a very striking style (even
more in your B&W drawings in my opinion).

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Here's a dancer though, the picture is a bit weird and i'll see if in the future i can spend money to get a good scan instead of editing a
still. Gets expensive though.

Hyper-contrasted then de-contrasted drawing (297kb)

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Full resolution

Maybe soon there'll be three past art contributors to this thread instead of 2 !

[candycanearter07]

this seems interesting so ig ill throw one in

edit: um im comftorable with the linework shading and stuff being critiqued
its an artfight drawing
i like the ghost shading

[wetnoodle]

Hey friends! Would love any advice or thoughts on mostly my music (here) but any well meaning constructive thoughts otherwise are appreciated! For my music I just love getting into a groove with my synths so I don't mind too much if people dislike anything but if I don't agree with a critique I like trying things I normally wouldn't so no worries if you're worried it may come off as telling me I'm doing it wrong or something like that. I try to keep my music from being repetitive but that is one thing I worry I sometimes fail at.

[urgellx]

Hello ! Sorry for the late responses, here i go.

this seems interesting so ig ill throw one in

edit: um im comftorable with the linework shading and stuff being critiqued
its an artfight drawing
i like the ghost shading

It's hard to critique since it's a modified stylization of the already very stylized art of a paper mario game but i feel like you could have done a better service to the perspective and the 3d-ness of the scene. Unless it's intentional (which it probably is), it makes it look like a fish-eye lens and removes most contrast of the scene that a regular paper mario combat would have.

Hey friends! Would love any advice or thoughts on mostly my music (here) but any well meaning constructive thoughts otherwise are appreciated! For my music I just love getting into a groove with my synths so I don't mind too much if people dislike anything but if I don't agree with a critique I like trying things I normally wouldn't so no worries if you're worried it may come off as telling me I'm doing it wrong or something like that. I try to keep my music from being repetitive but that is one thing I worry I sometimes fail at.

Right now, the tracks that i've listened to leave me a bit hungry for more, coming from someone without a lot of musical knowledge, i find
that it'd be quite nice to have it melt down in some parts (sometimes it hints at this coming too), for a reference of what i'm talking
about, i'd recommend Alon Mor's «Presudeos». But if it's meant to be listened in the background or when playing some kind of game, it's
fine. Also since you talk about being in the groove with your synths, maybe preparing for a big breakdown would ruin the experience but
that's just my guess. Like i said earlier,  It does feel like video game background music but since they usually evolve quite a bit, that
leaves me hungry for more on that end too.


Both of you, have a good evening !

[e-]

this seems interesting so ig ill throw one in

It's distracting me that the green in the background is overlapping the floor in front of it.