You own a store, but you can only sell your username. What do you sell?

[SkaterWizard555]

I would be selling magical cookies that smile at you and dance happy dances (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[MediocreMetastasis]

I have a feeling people would not want to go to my store...

[mothpanic]

just… some very nervous bugs…

I’d buy from here.

[Dan Q]

Well this is awkward.

I guess I'm selling... myself?

Pretty sure I'm the only "Dan Q" in the world! 

[Melooon]

retty sure I'm the only "Dan Q" in the world!

I always assumed it was pronounced Tank-qU (Thank You) with a funny accent So maybe that's just what you say when people make a purchase?

[Dan Q]

I always assumed it was pronounced Tank-qU (Thank You) with a funny accent So maybe that's just what you say when people make a purchase?

I have a stupid pointless podcast whose episodes I always end with "Dan Q for listening; Dan Q very much".

But I've probably heard every pun about my unusual name, by now. People most-often ask "Is it like Q from Star Trek?" or they ask "Is it like Q from James Bond?" (either of which I typically answer with "No, it's like Q, the set of rational numbers." Still, if you think you've got a new one, I'm all ears!

[Limette]

I'm selling limes! I wonder, would it still count if the limes are processed into something else, like limeade, or am I only able to sell fresh limes? Either way, I'd be happy with this kind of business.

[Dan Q]

I'm selling limes! I wonder, would it still count if the limes are processed into something else, like limeade, or am I only able to sell fresh limes? Either way, I'd be happy with this kind of business.

When life gives you @Limette, you get limeade! (Yum.)

[cufusti]

you get my persona. not in like a mini figurine or a marketable plushie, you get... clones. living breathing duplicates of my online representation that become your problem.
please somebody buy them, i'm stuck trying to turn the cloning machine off

[sloth_army1]

I'm selling Pilosa Militias, I guess. Please employ them responsibly.

[vhou]

Calico cats. Or, perhaps, one singular (particularly silly) calico kitty. This of course raises a lot of questions. Is it just one calico cat at a time? One calico cat ever? Maybe, instead of selling the cat directly, my shop sells time with the eponymous silly calico kitty. There are many possibilities to explore.

[Limette]

Calico cats. Or, perhaps, one singular (particularly silly) calico kitty. This of course raises a lot of questions. Is it just one calico cat at a time? One calico cat ever? Maybe, instead of selling the cat directly, my shop sells time with the eponymous silly calico kitty. There are many possibilities to explore.

How about a cat cafe themed around a silly calico kitty?

[vhou]

How about a cat cafe themed around a silly calico kitty?

Maybe! If we're sticking with the strictest definition of the topic, I think it'd be interesting if the cat cafe gave out food for free, the only actual spending of money being the payment of the cat's adoption fee. Thus, the store still only actually "sells" cats! 

[4stralmoff]

I guess I'll be selling moths...? Labeled as 'moffs' for branding, of course.
Oh and they're spacial and intergalactic I guess. alien moths! 

[purpleaxe]

purple axes