Pieces of media that changed you?

[starbreaker]

more recently i feel that final fantasy xiv has affected me a lot especially the endwalker expansion. idk i think it kinda just has helped me see the hope in things even when they look bleak. thanks venat lol

Yeah, the Endwalker expansion in particular reads like a crash course in existentialism, humanism, and optimistic nihilism. It's like, "We don't matter to the universe? Well, fuck the universe. We matter to ourselves and to each other, and that's enough, dammit."

I swear, the more FF I play the more convinced I am that the writers and developers are reading Michael Moorcock, because a lot of themes you find in FF also show up in Moorcock's sf and fantasy, even in the really dark stuff like the early Elric stories. Hell, the Hawkmoon novels read like a FF scenario.

[Bede]

In my mind, there are two ways to answer this. With media that changed me because it directly led to me finding out things about myself, or finding other people, and with media that changed my perception.

Media that changed me because it led to me finding important people, or important things about myself include:

Professor Layton. It's through the series that I met my partner, and lots of other important people in my life! It also is what helped me realize I was trans. More specifically, it was my attraction to Randall Ascot feeling queer which made me do research into male/female gender identities, which ended with me identifying as bigender. (Plus, it's just a really good game series.)



Steven Universe. I grew up alongside this show, and it (along with Ruby and Sapphire in particular) was extremely important in helping me learn more about my queerness. Peridot from the show also led to my autism diagnosis, which is not a joke. I related to Peridot so intensely in a way that I never had with a character before; only to go online, and to see people calling everything that I related to her for autistic traits. Cue research, and a realization... So, shoutout to everyone's favorite angry little slice of pie for that!



As for media that changed me because it changed my perception, I have to give that title to Celeste. This game's story changed my life, through teaching me to be kind to myself, and to not view my mental illness as a villain, but, instead, as something to be cared for and tended to.

[Snow]

I don't think I will ever be able to pinpoint why this changed me, but seeing Thom Yorke's short film Anima back in 2019 had a significant impact on me. Especially the second half of it. It's only 15 minutes long, but every minute of it is beautiful and I tear up whenever I watch it and hear the "Dawn Chorus" part towards the end. Now whenever I am feeling emotional or going through something that has a lot of heavy emotions tied to it, I think of the "Dawn Chorus" part, and... I can't exactly describe how it makes me feel. It makes me cry, but it also makes me feel like everything is going to be okay as well.

[Street_Mage]

Ichi The Killer (1998 - 2001)

I am not a manga or anime person by any means, I don't even remember how found this work. But when I did, and read through it, something changed in me.

If you know Hideo Yamamoto, it's probably from Homunculus (2003 - 2011), and you find that the author excels in writing compelling, psychologically troubled characters.

As for the plot, I will only say this: This is a story of the ultimate sadist meeting with the ultimate masochist.

Now, on the surface, this is a violent, gory thriller story with immensely perverse sexual elements. But it is not exploitation. The series is explicit with its violence but never overabundant or used in a way that it feels forced or shallow. The sexual elements at first might just be there to evoke a quick response from the reader, as is the case with some minor characters, but in the case of the two main characters, it is the driving force of their actions, and uncovering the workings behind their desires is a fascinating, yet truly disturbing journey one cannot simply look away from. For characters, this is a morally grey world. There are no heroes in the world of Ichi. But Hideo Yamamoto finds a way to make you care about these otherwise reprehensible characters. Never in a way that excuses them, but at least provides some possible explanation behind their reasoning.

This is possibly one of the most violent works of comic/manga media out there. But let me tell you, the scariest parts of this manga are not people being hurt or killed. It is when people are talking. When you find out why they do what they do. The most terrifying part of this series, in my opinion, is when two characters are simply sharing a meal in a room. No one gets hurt, or threatened, they simply talk. And it is still one of the most chilling things I have ever witnessed.

- spoiler for mention of SA -

Spoiler

As for what really got me about this work, it may be a willing misinterpreation on my part, but here it is. When our titular character enters his killing rage, the form of relentless crying, an overflowing of rage, frustration, and sadness, hits a raw nerve with me. Ichi's trauma and present state has an ever-present sexual element, and is largely the motivator for his actions (to inflict pain and death on others), hence why I believe his "memories" are largely, if not entirely fictional, and he was more likely a victim of repeated abuse. Yet that state of crying, rampaging, feeling of helplessness that can only manifest in an overwhelming tantrum, well that brought me back to unpleasant times in my life, even though there was no sexual element involved or manifested.

[close]

The most respectable thing about this manga is that it has no message, but it does not mean that it is pointless, far from it. It takes through the abyss, shows you its caverns without shame or hesitation, and allows you to leave without bond, giving you the freedom to judge what you witnessed for yourself.

[Numberedpaws]

BFDI. Yes yes I know it's a bit silly, but the first time I binge watched BFDI I was entirely entranced. I was almost 18 at that point but it was still incredibly entertaining for something I planned to only watch a couple minutes of and not be interested in. The best thing is, the media related to it just never stops. This entire community has formed around BFDI and object media to the point where I can find something new but related to watch whenever I want. It's the perfect autism machine. Even though I dislike the community, I just can't find any reason to really leave it behind.

Now, if you want a real change- a lot of my system members are from Object Shows. In fact I, the current host, am a fictive of an OC made by the previous host based on a species from BFDI (Algebralien) we also discovered and started looking into ourselves more as a system through object shows. So yeah, I'd say it's definitely changed my life haha!

[doomvega]

Man, there's a lot now that I think about it. The first one that fundamentally altered my brain chemistry is Wall-E. I found it when I was super young and it awoke something deep within me. I took a strong interest in botany that still hasn't gone away and I'm fairly certain it's responsible for my anti-capitalistic sentiments.

Next up is TF2. I blew through those comics in one night and I fell in love immediately. It helped me realize that being weird is actually kickass (and that I was trans!). I can't play the game to save my life but for the first couple of summers that I did play it I had a good time.

I discovered DOOM this past January and I genuinely can't believe I hadn't played it sooner! That whole series is a big metaphor for more anti-capitalistic stuff LMAO.